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WTF do I do???!!! BBQ UPDATE

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:32 AM
  • 9 Replies
So dh has surprised me by telling me not to cook tomorrow bc he's throwing me a BBQ b day party. Or carne asada as he calls it. His family my ILs are def. welcome bc they're awesome now here's the kicker. My parents my sis and I have had a few probs. recently and he sad its my call if I wanna invite them or not. I kinda do and I don't bc they've ignored me and dh for almost 8 mos until just before Xmas and even now I'm still in limbo with them. My mom tries to make up for it but still treats dh a bit off and I hate that. I would love it if they came BUT I don't want dh uncomfortable in his own home AND I don't want my fam. to b hypocrites and just b nicer to us bc my ILs will b there also. In other word I don't wanna hear any drama about WTE is going on with my irresponsible sis bc I know that she will always try to b he center of att. like always.

So my question is this ladies, do I invite them or play it off as a surprise and not mention anything? Please help and for those who bash well for those who know me they know I'm a fighter not a lover so if you bash b prep. to get bashed back.


03/09/13 UPDATE

Well it turns out I didn't have to tell my fam. after all. All my siblings worked as well as my dad and my mom went to see my GF in the hospital bc of his knee operation. My lilest sis came over for awhile but then left I sent her a plate of food for the fam. If she says anything. I will just say it was a surprise. Thank you to all of you for taking your time to read and reply to this post. Dh even ordered a cake with whip cream and beautiful red roses filled with fresh strawberries and cream. I'd take a pic BUT my face got smushed into a small part of it. And it's all gone. It was delish. My ILs are here and I realized THEY are my family too and they're amazing and makin my party the best. Thank you all.
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by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:32 AM
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Replies (1-9):
crashblossom
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:34 AM

I would not risk inviting them if they have a possibility of ruining your day. But that's me.

Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
haunted.mommy
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:35 AM

Just have a nice bbq and a peaceful bday with your in-laws.  There is no reason for your bday to be ruined

Midsummerdawn
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:35 AM

Honestly, I wouldn't. I would play dumb. It's your birthday, you don't need the stress. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:36 AM

Screw it. Leave em out of it. It's your birthday, you deserve to be happy. Not to have tension in the air so thick you could cut it. It's your day, do what you want! That's what I say! Don't even tell your fam about it. And if you do, make sure to rub in their face what a great time you had so they can judge away. :)

xoch86
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:45 AM

Hmm.., here's the issue I have with it. If ur DH planned the party and ignited eveyone( on his family, and friends), then it should be him who decides who is invited... U shouldn't be given that task on ur birthday. I was put into the same position for my baby shower. I wasn't allowed to do anything, but at the same times was told if I wanted certain people to be invite, I would have to do it myself..annoying..

But it sounds like u really don't want the drama.. BUT if u don't invite them, and tell them it was a surprised, be prepared for the backlash of them thinking it was ur husband that didn't want them there and have it be more uncomfortable between them..

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:05 AM
Sit back and eat popcorn
kameronsmommy08
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:10 AM

 I wouldn't. I think you and the your dh's family should enjoy the day! Happy Birthday!

PISCIS29
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:34 AM
That a thing. I kinda don't want them to come either bc I know my sis's drama is gonna come up and quite frankly I don't wanna hear it. But I don't want them to blame him

Quoting xoch86:

Hmm.., here's the issue I have with it. If ur DH planned the party and ignited eveyone( on his family, and friends), then it should be him who decides who is invited... U shouldn't be given that task on ur birthday. I was put into the same position for my baby shower. I wasn't allowed to do anything, but at the same times was told if I wanted certain people to be invite, I would have to do it myself..annoying..

But it sounds like u really don't want the drama.. BUT if u don't invite them, and tell them it was a surprised, be prepared for the backlash of them thinking it was ur husband that didn't want them there and have it be more uncomfortable between them..

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
xoch86
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:39 PM


The best thing to do is call them a tell them.. But let them know ur " not really inviting anyone", which is what I say to people that I dont want showing up, but don't want thinking I didn't invite them..  Hen later, just say so and so " just showed up",if they hear the inlaws went

Quoting PISCIS29:

That a thing. I kinda don't want them to come either bc I know my sis's drama is gonna come up and quite frankly I don't wanna hear it. But I don't want them to blame him

Quoting xoch86:

Hmm.., here's the issue I have with it. If ur DH planned the party and ignited eveyone( on his family, and friends), then it should be him who decides who is invited... U shouldn't be given that task on ur birthday. I was put into the same position for my baby shower. I wasn't allowed to do anything, but at the same times was told if I wanted certain people to be invite, I would have to do it myself..annoying..

But it sounds like u really don't want the drama.. BUT if u don't invite them, and tell them it was a surprised, be prepared for the backlash of them thinking it was ur husband that didn't want them there and have it be more uncomfortable between them..



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