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How to go about telling my ex that I am seeing someone..

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 19 Replies
I have a 15 month old with my ex. Our relationship was never really good and we finally ended it a couple months ago. I've lived out of state from him for the last two months and he's been a real douche and barely skypes and always has excuses about it but soon we will be in the same state again which I am glad for since it means he will be a regular part of DDs life again. He is a good dad and he pays me cs with no trouble.
Well I've been talking to someone who happens to be my ex from when I was 15. He's loved me ever since then and he taljs about moving to be with me.
Well my concern is obviously my ex. He is a very emotional and spiteful person and I just don't know how to tell him. I'm shre he will be angry and not want this new guy in his daughters life and may even throw in my face we haven't been broken up long but our relationship was over ling before that emotionally and physically.
I have no intentions of keeping him from his daughter or replacing him in her life or anything.
I'm just so stressed out about it. I guess my worst fear is that he will try to take her away from me or something crazy. Who has gone through this? I know there's plenty of people so how did you tell your ex and how did thigns go?
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
edelweiss23
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:26 PM
Don't tell him until it is serious.
Once he moves back he will eventually find out.
Make sure you have an iron clad custody order in place before you let him spend a lot of time alone with your child.
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ajohnson08099
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:27 PM
Why... do you need to tell him? Really.

But I guess broach the subject the same to you plan on bringingthis new man into ur dd's life. Which... shoudnt be riht away
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haydsmom2007
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:27 PM

I don't really see how it's any of his business.

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:28 PM

WHY do you need to tell him anything....he is after all your EX.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:28 PM
The thing is once this guy moves to be there, he will be around so ill have to tell him since they are likely to see eachother

We have no custody agreement but I really can't see him trying to keep her that way just cause he works a ton so he can't just take her and be gone.

Quoting edelweiss23:

Don't tell him until it is serious.

Once he moves back he will eventually find out.

Make sure you have an iron clad custody order in place before you let him spend a lot of time alone with your child.
Sweetest_Britt
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:29 PM

As long as you have a custody order in place. Don't worry about it. 


areles
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:29 PM

i was in a similar situation, at least insofar as an unstable ex who'd already long since proven himself a vindictive, evil cocksucker.

i was scared to death to tell him when i became seriously involved with my husband.  i told my then boyfriend to expect a lot of drama.

the ex did not give a fuck.  at all.  if anything, he was relieved that someone else was stepping in to be daddy, and from the point i told him i was involved with said boyfriend, all of his evil, vindictive bullshit stopped.

i feel like my situation is an unusual one, but you asked who's gone through it, so there you go.

Aleta775
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:30 PM
You ended one relationship a few months ago, and you already want to jump into a relationship with someone else? Can you say rebound?
How about being on your own for a little while first? THEN think about a new relationship.
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Motherof3inNJ
by Gold Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:30 PM

I never told my ex I was in a relationship. He found out 2 years later when he came by my house and saw DF. CSE gave him the address which they had no legal right to do.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2013 at 3:38 PM
I just feel its appropriate since its his daughter and since I'm a single mom and have no one to watch dd, she will be around said bf. He's someone I've known a long time. It'd be different if he was a stranger.

Quoting ajohnson08099:

Why... do you need to tell him? Really.



But I guess broach the subject the same to you plan on bringingthis new man into ur dd's life. Which... shoudnt be riht away
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