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Argh!!!

Posted by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 8:05 PM
  • 15 Replies
1 mom liked this
I'm feeling very done as a mom today.

I'm a SAHM and do everything. No big deal. But today I just want to yell "Fuck it!" and take a long vacation away from everyone. I feel like a shitty mother because I want said break. YDD is 12 months and VERY high needs. Always clingy and wanting to be held yet hates being worn which makes getting stuff done a challenge even with her being mobile and I feel like she's an unhappy person. ODD is almost 4 and is constantly in my face the moment I sit down.

I can't even enjoy a nice shower because within 10 minutes DH is bringing YDD saying "Hurry up. Shes crying". I literally don't remember the last time I did anything away from my kids. I feel like a shitty mom because I'm feeling so touched out and fed up.
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by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 8:05 PM
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Replies (1-10):
skippito
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 8:14 PM
I feel this way often and also feel shitty about!!!! Today my husband called me while I was driving home from errands, with the two yr old screaming in the background. He yells into the phone"she keeps saying she wants juice but won't take it.....what does she want???!!!!!" I feel like just yelling deal with it for two damn minutes!!!! I deal with it 24 hours a day. You have just reached your limit!! Take a break if you can. Tell your husband you will be a better wife and mother if you can take time for yourself. Get a massage, a hair cut or have him take them for a ride so you can shower in peace!!!! Whenever i get a break from my girls, I end up missing them lol :)
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TCain0001
by Silver Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 8:18 PM

My YDD is 3, and she's up my butt constantly!  I have to wake DH up (his depression meds have his sleep pattern all backwards) to keep an eye on her while I run to the store, just to get a breather, otherwise I can't even pee without company!......lol.  I feel bad, too, but I realize that the 5 minute trip to 7-11 to get milk gives me a chance to destress before dealing with the demands of a 3yo.

robibuni
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 8:28 PM
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The issue is, I can't take a break. When I get like this, DH gets all pissy and asks me why we had kids if they annoy me so much. It's not that though...when he's at work and driving to and from work, he can be alone. He doesnt appreciate being alone. He rolls his eyes at me, and then I feel like a douchebag for not just sucking it up and dealing with it.


Quoting skippito:

I feel this way often and also feel shitty about!!!! Today my husband called me while I was driving home from errands, with the two yr old screaming in the background. He yells into the phone"she keeps saying she wants juice but won't take it.....what does she want???!!!!!" I feel like just yelling deal with it for two damn minutes!!!! I deal with it 24 hours a day. You have just reached your limit!! Take a break if you can. Tell your husband you will be a better wife and mother if you can take time for yourself. Get a massage, a hair cut or have him take them for a ride so you can shower in peace!!!! Whenever i get a break from my girls, I end up missing them lol :)

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skippito
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 6:04 AM
This could be a scene from my own life!!! I know just how you feel. I would try to tell my husband how frazzled i was and he' d say sounds like you just don't like mother hood, yeah right to old guilt button on that jab!!! I love my girls more than words can express but they drain every ounce of patience, strengh, and good humor i have on a daily basis!! It started to get better when my oldest started kindergarten. Just keep your head up, take that deep calming breath and just remember one day they will be grown, our homes will be clean and quiet and we will miss the lil buggers!!!


Quoting robibuni:

The issue is, I can't take a break. When I get like this, DH gets all pissy and asks me why we had kids if they annoy me so much. It's not that though...when he's at work and driving to and from work, he can be alone. He doesnt appreciate being alone. He rolls his eyes at me, and then I feel like a douchebag for not just sucking it up and dealing with it.




Quoting skippito:

I feel this way often and also feel shitty about!!!! Today my husband called me while I was driving home from errands, with the two yr old screaming in the background. He yells into the phone"she keeps saying she wants juice but won't take it.....what does she want???!!!!!" I feel like just yelling deal with it for two damn minutes!!!! I deal with it 24 hours a day. You have just reached your limit!! Take a break if you can. Tell your husband you will be a better wife and mother if you can take time for yourself. Get a massage, a hair cut or have him take them for a ride so you can shower in peace!!!! Whenever i get a break from my girls, I end up missing them lol :)


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skippito
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 8:33 AM
How are things going for you today?!
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robibuni
by Platinum Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:07 PM
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Much better today!

I guess I was just having a bad day, Saturday!

Today I'm fine. The girls aren't irritating every nerve in my skin, lol. Stuff is getting done, they're able to occupy themselves for more than 5 minutes, and the youngest one isn't AS clingy as she was this weekend.

I periodically have days like I had Saturday where I just couldn't take it anymore. Usually DH is pretty understanding and will have me go get my hair cut while he takes our girls shopping, or he'll tell me to do a little retail therapy (mind you, I'm with the youngest usually...but she's pretty good while I"m out shopping so I think she might be my shopping buddy later in life, lol). Saturday was just a particularly bad day with a clingy, fussy baby, a messy house with NO ONE willing to straighten up their own messes, and a DH who just wanted to play Black Ops 2 and let me act like he's not there.


Quoting skippito:

How are things going for you today?!



VannaMae307
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:13 PM

Don't feel shitty for feeling that way, everyone has a limit and yours seems to be reached, no shame in it. I have recently started doing Tai Chi, it's just a meditative activity in the mornings...less strenuous than yoga (I cant do yoga with my chronic pain anyway) and it really clears my mind. my 4 yr old is constantly up my ass as well, but I have pain issues and my meds suck and it's just an ongoing loop sometimes. the Tai Chi helps break the cycle.

Maybe you could get your 4 yr old to do it with you...mine does! he thinks it's funny. Put in an exercise video or on youtube and have her do what you do. it will relieve some of her energy while you get to do it as well.

For the baby, can you put her in a sling and wear her around while you do chores or whatever? and be sure to tell dh you need a break, happy mom means happy wife!

VannaMae307
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:14 PM

oh, I didnt see this was older, sorry OP lol

I hope things got better since then

robibuni
by Platinum Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:16 PM

As high needs as the 1 year old is, she HATES being worn. Don't get it, lol. She's always hated being worn.

Today I'm in a much better frame of mind, though! I think DH is slowly learning I have limits and that I DO need a break every once in a while.


Quoting VannaMae307:

Don't feel shitty for feeling that way, everyone has a limit and yours seems to be reached, no shame in it. I have recently started doing Tai Chi, it's just a meditative activity in the mornings...less strenuous than yoga (I cant do yoga with my chronic pain anyway) and it really clears my mind. my 4 yr old is constantly up my ass as well, but I have pain issues and my meds suck and it's just an ongoing loop sometimes. the Tai Chi helps break the cycle.

Maybe you could get your 4 yr old to do it with you...mine does! he thinks it's funny. Put in an exercise video or on youtube and have her do what you do. it will relieve some of her energy while you get to do it as well.

For the baby, can you put her in a sling and wear her around while you do chores or whatever? and be sure to tell dh you need a break, happy mom means happy wife!



VannaMae307
by on Mar. 11, 2013 at 2:20 PM

It's good he is realizing you have a limit. My theory is that men are just so impressed by our domestic superiority, they just figure we have no limit and can take on the world without batting an eyelash ;-)

I just don't have any advice for the younger girl, I have no experience with high needs...but I stand by saying Tai Chi is a great relaxer. It's not strenuous...lots of arm raising ("release your troubles to the sky" etc etc) and it really does release some of the brain bubbles I seem to accumulate from stress, lol

Quoting robibuni:

As high needs as the 1 year old is, she HATES being worn. Don't get it, lol. She's always hated being worn.

Today I'm in a much better frame of mind, though! I think DH is slowly learning I have limits and that I DO need a break every once in a while.


Quoting VannaMae307:

Don't feel shitty for feeling that way, everyone has a limit and yours seems to be reached, no shame in it. I have recently started doing Tai Chi, it's just a meditative activity in the mornings...less strenuous than yoga (I cant do yoga with my chronic pain anyway) and it really clears my mind. my 4 yr old is constantly up my ass as well, but I have pain issues and my meds suck and it's just an ongoing loop sometimes. the Tai Chi helps break the cycle.

Maybe you could get your 4 yr old to do it with you...mine does! he thinks it's funny. Put in an exercise video or on youtube and have her do what you do. it will relieve some of her energy while you get to do it as well.

For the baby, can you put her in a sling and wear her around while you do chores or whatever? and be sure to tell dh you need a break, happy mom means happy wife!





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