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I am devastated

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 22 Replies

I am so upset I can't even think straight. This is the only place I can get it out. 

DH and me are having serious issues. It's been going on for years. We've been to counseling and nothing changes. We fight constantly and he berates me in front of the kids. He has some serious health issue that he struggles with and it changes his behavior. He went to a psychiatrist for a while but quit. 

I know this isn't good for our kids and something has to change. So today I told him one of us has to move out at least for a while so we can get out of this cycle.  He refused. He said I'll have to get a lawyer and force him out. I know once that happens there's no chance for reconciliation. 

The only thing that I can see possibly helping is if we have some time apart he may realize that his unhappiness and anger isn't because of me. He's a great dad and a great husband when he's not being an asshole. I can't just throw my marriage away and have my kids grow up with no memories of a whole family.

So I decided that I was going to leave for a couple of weeks and see if things change when we're not together.  I planned on us sharing the kids. 

I called my mother who lives a few blocks away and told her what was going on and asked if I could stay with her for a while. 

She said no. She thinks I should force him out. She says she doesn't have room for me. My brother has always lived with her. She has room for him, but now that I need her she won't do anything. She already has places for the boys because they do sleepovers. She won't even let me crash on the couch. 

She called me a little while ago and said I could come if I really want, but she thinks it's a big mistake. It's clear she doesn't want me there. All I want is to get my kids in a better situation and there's nothing I can do. 

All I need is support and someone to be there. But what I get is being told I'm fucking things up worse than they are. I am so pissed and hurt right now I can't even think straight. 

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:08 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:09 PM
1 mom liked this

Your mom sucks.....sorry

Do you have any friends that you could stay with for a bit??

                             Betty Boop Lets go to the disco.    Betty Jean Newell Smith

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:11 PM


Quoting Sassy762:

Your mom sucks.....sorry

Do you have any friends that you could stay with for a bit??

None that are close have room for my boys to come. I would have to leave them. I thought the could back an forth from my mom's and our house if I stayed there. Then I wouldn't be abandoning them. 

cinnamonkiti
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:13 PM
Have you tried marital counseling?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:14 PM


Quoting cinnamonkiti:

Have you tried marital counseling?

For the last 4 years. 

Nothing changes. 

Toonkasmommy
by Challenger 💗 on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:15 PM
I'm so sorry. Can your mom let you borrow money for a hotel?
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MelanieMans
by Sapphire Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:16 PM

Just stay with your mom and ignore what she thinks because I think your plan sounds great.

AprilDJC
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:17 PM
Can you afford a cheap hotel, maybe one with weekly rates? You could take the kids with you too.
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dorfmama
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:17 PM
2 moms liked this
Do not leave your children with him no matter what. A friend of mine left the marital residence intending to find a place to live & then get her children. She never regained primary custody of them.
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cinnamonkiti
by Platinum Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:18 PM
I hate to say it, but it simply may be best to just leave outright. Take your kidsvand go to a shelter if you have to.

No man is worth sacrificing your self esteem.
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im_2_xblessed
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:18 PM
I'm so sorry your going through this hugs
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