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should I have the talk

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 9 Replies
Sd 11. She started spotting today not a full fledged period but close enough. She hasn't seen bm in 5monthes and dh told bm to have the talk with sd the last visit uf she wanted to do it. She didn't talk to her and we have been trying to call bm all day. I honestly don't think over the phone or Skype is an ok way to have that talk. Sd knows a little bit because her sister told her how it works after I told dd. I want to know if it's ok to do what I did and tell her the same thing I said to dd when hers came that it's ok to ask me anything if she wants I'm always here and lets go buy u some pads for ur room and a little purse for school. She knew this day was coming because my dd told her and I agreed when she asked but I like to have the its ok talk twice because sd has Aspergers so she needs to be retold things are ok a BUNCH of times. Bm will probably be pissed when she calls tomorrow but o well.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 9, 2013 at 10:33 PM
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Replies (1-9):
FoxFire363
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:06 PM
At least have the period part of the talk, then talk to bm tomorrow.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:16 PM
1 mom liked this
Absolutely! You are her go to female role model. If my SM hadn't stepped up, I wouldn't have had anyone to turn to about that stuff. I lived w/her and my dad and rarely saw my BM. As a mom, I respect that you are trying to be courteous to the BM, but she's not there and you are.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:59 PM
timesOk. Well as long as someone supports the idea dh said um ewww that's not my business when I asked him what to do. I'm soo glad it happened over a weekend and not at school. When dd had hers it happened at school she went to the nurse but I rushed to the school like someone was hurt I wanted to give her that its ok speach and not the nurse being the one to say talk ti ur mom when u get home. Mom had to Expect this day would come and probably not on hr time considering she doesn't want much time. I hhope she lets us slide on things one without a fight.


Quoting Anonymous:

Absolutely! You are her go to female role model. If my SM hadn't stepped up, I wouldn't have had anyone to turn to about that stuff. I lived w/her and my dad and rarely saw my BM. As a mom, I respect that you are trying to be courteous to the BM, but she's not there and you are.

FL2AK
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 12:00 AM
That talk should have happened awhile ago. I would go ahead and talk to her since you are in the mother role.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 10, 2013 at 9:55 AM
You are her mom too. It just so happened you were there at the time and BM wasn't. Too bad if she is angry! She ought to be happy that you care enough to help and educate your SD.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:11 AM
She's had the talk before lots of times. Her sister told her, I talked to her whenever she did they hey mom my sister told me...... bm was told then hey u need to talk to her too but she choose not to and now she's still not calling back. Like I said my sd has Aspergers she has to have things repeated and has to be reassured many times when something scary happens so I retalked to her and gave her the ok lets go pad shopping, lets get u some dark underwear, and lets buy u a special pouch to keep them in ur purse while school kind of talk. I have always "celebrated" naturally scary things with my daughters because of their Aspergers it helps them get through those this is scary but this is normal moments. Like toilet training, first tooth loss, first day of new school, wearing first bra, now periods. Bm got pissed that I allowed dd to tell sd (its not like I said now go tell ur sister) and she was pissed that I confirmed it without having her talk to sd. So when it happened I tried to tell her things were going to be ok she could talk to her mom first but her mom never answered.


Quoting FL2AK:

That talk should have happened awhile ago. I would go ahead and talk to her since you are in the mother role.

The_Doodle
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:13 AM

Please tell her something before she has a full blown period, even if you're not her birth mother. It is nerve wracking to have a period and not know what the hell is going on.

Pnukey
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:16 AM

Definitely have a chat with her and let her know that you are available to answer any questions that come up either now, or in the future. I'm sure you already have, but she might like to hear it again.

brettsmomma
by ~Tammie~ on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:17 AM

Whether the BM or any of you cafemom women like it you are in a co parenting position with this child. If the BM isnt available for the talk then you need to do it. its simple really and the BM should be grateful to have someone she can depend upon in times like this.

Photo: -Randi.

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