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Is this OK?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 4 Replies

I was cleaning out DH email and saw that there was a tab for conversations. I clicked it and saw messages back and forth from when he was deployed. I saw one woman that I didn't recognize and read their exchange. It seems innocent at first. He asked about her son, told how he was deployed, then he said he missed her and its been a while, he asked if she wanted to cam, and asked if she had a bf.  She said she missed him too and that she couldn't cam because she was at work. She said she had no bf and she asked "where's your girl." He responded "sup with the attitude." He never answered about me and didn't know I was just a girl. We have been married long enough I am introduced as his wife. She responded that she didn't have an attitude and stopped chatting. He hit her up several times from the chat log but with no answer. I am pissed and confronted him via FaceTime because I am not home and I needed to see his reaction. When I asked who was _____ he said he didn't know who I was talking about. I sent him a screenshot of their conversation and waited as he read it. I asked what was talking him so long to answer. He said he was trying to remember and didn't know her. But I responded you know she has a son. I followed up with have you ever met her. He said no they never met, which makes me only realized that he does "know" her and has talked to her, but only via the computer. He said he doesn't want to argue and that he doesn't do that anymore. His choice of words really hurt. We had issues his first deployment that he was inquiring about his ex via her best friend. Recently we have had issues and signed up for marriage counseling because I told him I wanted a divorce. I found the same week I brought up divorce that he was trying to Facebook his ex gf, the same woman who he was inquiring from his first deployment. This random Internet stranger chatting thing has me hurt and upset. I hung up on him and called my sister and spoke to my mom. My mom says I have to evaluate my marriage if I want to work it out and see how involved he was with this other random woman then make decisions. I am hurt thinking now I have to worry everytime he is away that he will get bored and chat/cam with other women. After hanging up on him he hasn't called me back. Am I a crazy to be hurt and pissed? 

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:40 PM
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Replies (1-4):
An0nym0use
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:55 PM
1 mom liked this
Why were you "cleaning" out his email for him?
If you snoop, you're going to find things you don't like.
If you find things you don't like, it justifies you wanting a divorce.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Mackenzie40
by Ruby Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 11:58 PM
I wouldn't believe a anything he said.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 10, 2013 at 12:35 AM

His account gets emails from our landlord and I was deleting stuff. I wasn't looking for something other than that, but I never noticed the conversations tab. I really don't see the justification in divorce by looking for things. I agreed to counseling and we have been doing better but when I brought the idea of going back to resolve issues he seemed uninterested and thinks eveything is fine. I was willing to work it out but that takes more than one person. Thank you for the reply though.

Quoting An0nym0use:

Why were you "cleaning" out his email for him?
If you snoop, you're going to find things you don't like.
If you find things you don't like, it justifies you wanting a divorce.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 10, 2013 at 12:36 AM

My mom said to contact the other woman but I feel that makes me look like a crazy wife.

Quoting Mackenzie40:

I wouldn't believe a anything he said.


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