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Dirty little secret

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 6 Replies

I have a confession to make, please don't judge me, and maybe I could use some advice as well. I am having an affair, been going on for two years now. As some of you may know, it is difficult to separate sex and emotion, especially when involved with the same person for an extended period of time. Can I say I love him? There are definitely some things about him that I love. But I am also not young and naive. I know this isn't going to amount to anything and I'm not sure I would want it to anyway, hard to trust a cheater. 

I was months into the relationship before he confessed that he was married. This year will mark 30 years married. His reason for cheating, she doesn't have sex with him anymore. She does, but its rare and she's detached when they do. Other than that, he says they have an awesome relationship. He says that but I don't believe it. I guess what I want to know is why would a man cheat after that many years? Is it more than just a lack of sex at home? Am I crazy for thinking there are underlying issues that he isn't willing to accept? Opinions?

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:26 PM
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Replies (1-6):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:28 PM

dont try to figure it out.. not worth it.. the only thing you need to know is he;s married. the end

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:32 PM
Sex very well could be his only reason, but if your gut is telling you it's probably more, then it probably is.

Why have you stayed with him knowing that he's cheating on his wife, and knowing you don't even want a relationship with him? That makes me think you have underlining issues your not facing if your willing to sell yourself so short of what you deserve. Not to mention it is you who us the other woman.
JanineDeer
by Janine on Mar. 10, 2013 at 10:35 PM

probably is only sex.  some men don't get as much as they want at home...............

some women don't either, but men are more likely to be able to seperate the sex from feelings. Like you are disco vering.... girl assumes because he is sexing her up, he loves her.   It ain't necessarily so.  men will have sex for sex's sake.

I would move on don't waste your precious precious years of life on him.  it's just sex.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 11, 2013 at 12:14 PM

Quoting Anonymous:

Sex very well could be his only reason, but if your gut is telling you it's probably more, then it probably is.

Why have you stayed with him knowing that he's cheating on his wife, and knowing you don't even want a relationship with him? That makes me think you have underlining issues your not facing if your willing to sell yourself so short of what you deserve. Not to mention it is you who us the other woman.

First off, the sex is fabulous. And secondly, I do have my own underlying issues. A very abusive previous relationship and I am still working through what I do and don't deserve.
sugareemommee
by Platinum Member on Mar. 11, 2013 at 12:16 PM
It's just sex for him. It will never be anything more and he's not pretending it will be. He's being completely honest about it yet you're still trying to convince yourself it's more?



Sounds to me like you are in fact naive.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 12, 2013 at 7:35 PM

Quoting sugareemommee:

It's just sex for him. It will never be anything more and he's not pretending it will be. He's being completely honest about it yet you're still trying to convince yourself it's more?



Sounds to me like you are in fact naive.

I am not trying to convince myself it is anything more. I am far from naive. What I am wondering is if he is being honest with himself about why he is cheating. Pretending to have the perfect marriage when that isn't the case.
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