OK for those saying kick him out and all. I've tried. In the state I live in I can't. Judge has to order him to leave. I have to be awarded the house in divorce for that to happen. You have to be separated and not living together for a year before filing for divorce. I'm not leaving the house I pay for.
Update* I know this is going to sound childish but I called his dad. I love my FIL. He's an ex navy man and has worked for the same company now for 30 years. He didn't know dh wasn't working he was quit pissed. He showed up an hour ago and flipped out. He lives 4 hours away. He is going to pay for my lawyer. He told dh that he needed to get his stuff and go. Dh is at his aunts house now. Which is only 20 min away from me. I feel like crap now. I know it's best and I don't want to be with him but it's really taking a toll on the kids. Does it get better. I go to lawyer on Tuesday. Dh says he's gonna ask for spousal support. Can he do that? Any way for everyone that were straight forward and told me that I wasn't doing anything to change it and to stay then and be a door mat and all things of that nature. THANK YOU. You gave me the fire I needed under my ass to actually take actions. I even called a women a cunt. I am truly sorry. You were only trying to help. I let emotions override my brain. It's not an excuse I know but I guess I just lash out at the wrong people.