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Is Michelle Duggar abusive?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Wow. I've always been the first to defend the Duggar family. On tv they seem perfectly happy, they support themselves, and the kids seem well adjusted. I stumbled upon an article about how one of the girl's wants to move to NYC, but Michelle won't let her. Ok, whatever. Your child moving across the country to NYC would be scary to ANY parent, so not a huge deal. But the discussion in the comments blew. my. mind. They were going back and forth about how Michelle, the mother, is abusive. I decided to research some things they mentioned. And wow. I had no idea that they lived this way and endorced such torturous punishment. Here is one article I read, in it they discuss how Michelle practices something called "blanket training", where she lays the baby on a blanket, baits them to move off of it, and then hits them with a ruler to punish them for giving in to temptation. A baby. This is done so mom can "chat on the phone or do other things without the baby moving". Thoughts?

http://www.chicagonow.com/running-with-a-book-cart/2011/11/are-the-duggars-guilty-of-child-abuse/

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 14, 2013 at 11:40 PM
Replies (701-710):
carolyntx
by Gold Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 9:59 PM
1 mom liked this
Admittedly there are worse home situations BUT I do feel they are robbing the kids of some of their childhood :(

Quoting harehelper:

I still just don't see that as abusive in any way. I'm sure Michelle has a ton of work to do as well, she isn't sitting in a recliner eating bon-bons, you know? I think the family is doing an incredible thing, raising these children with an awesome work ethic and with a strong sense of responsibility, and they are doing it without any of the government help that is so vilified here, LOL.

Quoting carolyntx:

I think pitching in here and there is fine. I ask my 3 year old to help me do something a couple times a day (hand me baby wipes, take somethinga away from one of his sisters if my hands are full) but they have a system where michelle rarely has to do much of the care at all for her infants. the older daughters are charged with the majority of the care of the younger ones as well as laundry, food prep, etc. I think that if NOT having the older children's help would disable her from properly caring for her children as the main care giver (as she should be) then its a sign that she doesnt really have any business continuing to have them. 

Quoting harehelper:

I don't understand why asking the older kids to help take care of the younger ones would be abusive. That's very similar to giving chores, and chores are excellent for kids. They teach a work ethic and responsibility to kids.

Quoting Anonymous:

That train up a child is freaking insane. That's a fact. Another fact is that the duggars do endorse it. I personally think that she takes advantage of her children in the level that they are responsible for thir younger siblings and household care. I mean ya you could easily have a billion kids if all you do is carry them and then pass them off to an older sibling!




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:57 AM
I babysat my siblings and enjoyed it. I am the oldest of three - my siblings are several years younger than I am. I think taking on that responsibility is a wonderful thing for older children!

Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting Anonymous:

I think the Duggars are both abusive AND neglectful....she no longer cares for her babies, her older children do. I don't care what anyone says, it IS neglectful to have your older children raise the younger ones, I don't care if thats how you grew up, or if thats what you do right now with your own kids, that is NEGLECTFUL.



People do this when they have 2 & 3 children. Oh my older will babysit, they don't get an actual babysitter. Their lives as teens is babysitting their sibling. They have to watch their siblings all the time. It is sadly normal now a days. It does happen in bigger families, sure. Nothing out of the norm. But that it happens in 2-3 chidlren home, now that is when it is really sick. 

witchybabymomma
by Bronze Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 1:58 PM

 I've never been a fan of the Duggars so any opinion I have would be biased

Sirime
by Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:00 PM

I do the same as you but I don't think a ruler should work for anyone let alone a baby! That is straight abusive! ATLEAST to me it is!


Quoting Anonymous:

i never used the blanket method and have only heard of it on cafemom

it is never too early to start teaching your child from right and wrong. I would never use a ruler to hit a baby with. it is what works best FOR HER. I do light hand smackings, firm no's. i have never ever used anything but my hand to disclipline my children nor do I use a closed hand.

Quoting Sirime:


Quoting Anonymous:

I don't think she is
She was training the child and anyone who says that babies cannot reason is full of baloney.I have infants look at the thing you just told them no and go for it aagain. Its called discipline.

Oh sure lets train our babies with rulers and shit because they soooooooo clearly understand the concept of the word No! Lets be hypocrites and tell the child "here baby come get ur little toy" the baby leaves the blanket SLAP! "You shouldn't want ur toy stay in the blanket, you must be selfish" lmao really?! That's the stupidest form of discipline I've ever heard the only reason the kid won't move is cause of fear not discipline!




Bonita131
by Platinum Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 4:54 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting Anonymous:

Who is scaring the shit out of them?

As I just told someone else: I was in the kitchen my son the living room, he reached for a lamp, I tapped the counter enough to get his attention, said his name and told him not to touch.

I dont see the issue and that is what she is doing. Not how I blanket trained but don't see that huge deal.

Oh and both my kids hated playpens, they would've been scarred if I force the use of a playpen.

Blanket training is nice, the child and blanket goes room to room with you, playpen can't.



Quoting Anonymous:

Oh yeah because a soft wall to contain a child is the same thing as scaring the shit out of them...not.



Quoting Anonymous:

She does not hit the child with a ruler! She bangs a spoon or ruler when the child moves off the blanket, she does not hit the child.





I did blanket training, no different than those that use a playpen!!


 If you blanket train, if you even believe in blanket training, you do not deserve to have children, period.  There's a great many loving childless couples out there who'd jump at the chance to adopt the children you readily use circus animal training on. Loving couples who'd actually treat them like the human beings they are, not abused dogs who're smacked or whipped every once in the while just to show them who's in charge.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 5:05 PM

 


Quoting Bonita131:

 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Who is scaring the shit out of them?

As I just told someone else: I was in the kitchen my son the living room, he reached for a lamp, I tapped the counter enough to get his attention, said his name and told him not to touch.

I dont see the issue and that is what she is doing. Not how I blanket trained but don't see that huge deal.

Oh and both my kids hated playpens, they would've been scarred if I force the use of a playpen.

Blanket training is nice, the child and blanket goes room to room with you, playpen can't.



Quoting Anonymous:

Oh yeah because a soft wall to contain a child is the same thing as scaring the shit out of them...not.



Quoting Anonymous:

She does not hit the child with a ruler! She bangs a spoon or ruler when the child moves off the blanket, she does not hit the child.





I did blanket training, no different than those that use a playpen!!

 

 If you blanket train, if you even believe in blanket training, you do not deserve to have children, period.  There's a great many loving childless couples out there who'd jump at the chance to adopt the children you readily use circus animal training on. Loving couples who'd actually treat them like the human beings they are, not abused dogs who're smacked or whipped every once in the while just to show them who's in charge.

LMAO, blanket training doesn't mean they are smacked or whipped?

I never smacked or whipped my child while blanket training, don't know anyone else that hit either for blanket training.

Go educate yourself before telling me I don't love my children, that I don't deserve my children or that I treat them like dogs.

Love when the uneducated try to be know it all self-righteous bitches.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blanket_training

http://www.aboverubies.net/2012/03/first-time-obedience-blanket-training.html

 

Bonita131
by Platinum Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 7:03 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting Anonymous:

 

 

Quoting Bonita131:

 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Who is scaring the shit out of them?

As I just told someone else: I was in the kitchen my son the living room, he reached for a lamp, I tapped the counter enough to get his attention, said his name and told him not to touch.

I dont see the issue and that is what she is doing. Not how I blanket trained but don't see that huge deal.

Oh and both my kids hated playpens, they would've been scarred if I force the use of a playpen.

Blanket training is nice, the child and blanket goes room to room with you, playpen can't.



Quoting Anonymous:

Oh yeah because a soft wall to contain a child is the same thing as scaring the shit out of them...not.



Quoting Anonymous:

She does not hit the child with a ruler! She bangs a spoon or ruler when the child moves off the blanket, she does not hit the child.





I did blanket training, no different than those that use a playpen!!

 

 If you blanket train, if you even believe in blanket training, you do not deserve to have children, period.  There's a great many loving childless couples out there who'd jump at the chance to adopt the children you readily use circus animal training on. Loving couples who'd actually treat them like the human beings they are, not abused dogs who're smacked or whipped every once in the while just to show them who's in charge.

LMAO, blanket training doesn't mean they are smacked or whipped?

I never smacked or whipped my child while blanket training, don't know anyone else that hit either for blanket training.

Go educate yourself before telling me I don't love my children, that I don't deserve my children or that I treat them like dogs.

Love when the uneducated try to be know it all self-righteous bitches.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blanket_training

http://www.aboverubies.net/2012/03/first-time-obedience-blanket-training.html

 

I've read all your crap links so you can quit wasting your time trying to convince me or anyone else you're a decent parent.  The only thing your links prove is you like to raise your children like animals instead of human beings & that you are not fit to be a parent. Take a long hard look at what you are endorsing with your crap links. OBEDIENCE TRAINING. In my world and most normal parents world, obedience training is something you take your dog to.

 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 7:08 PM

 

 

Quoting Bonita131:

 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 

 

Quoting Bonita131:

 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Who is scaring the shit out of them?

As I just told someone else: I was in the kitchen my son the living room, he reached for a lamp, I tapped the counter enough to get his attention, said his name and told him not to touch.

I dont see the issue and that is what she is doing. Not how I blanket trained but don't see that huge deal.

Oh and both my kids hated playpens, they would've been scarred if I force the use of a playpen.

Blanket training is nice, the child and blanket goes room to room with you, playpen can't.



Quoting Anonymous:

Oh yeah because a soft wall to contain a child is the same thing as scaring the shit out of them...not.



Quoting Anonymous:

She does not hit the child with a ruler! She bangs a spoon or ruler when the child moves off the blanket, she does not hit the child.





I did blanket training, no different than those that use a playpen!!

 

 If you blanket train, if you even believe in blanket training, you do not deserve to have children, period.  There's a great many loving childless couples out there who'd jump at the chance to adopt the children you readily use circus animal training on. Loving couples who'd actually treat them like the human beings they are, not abused dogs who're smacked or whipped every once in the while just to show them who's in charge.

LMAO, blanket training doesn't mean they are smacked or whipped?

I never smacked or whipped my child while blanket training, don't know anyone else that hit either for blanket training.

Go educate yourself before telling me I don't love my children, that I don't deserve my children or that I treat them like dogs.

Love when the uneducated try to be know it all self-righteous bitches.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blanket_training

http://www.aboverubies.net/2012/03/first-time-obedience-blanket-training.html

 

I've read all your crap links so you can quit wasting your time trying to convince me or anyone else you're a decent parent.  The only thing your links prove is you like to raise your children like animals instead of human beings & that you are not fit to be a parent. Take a long hard look at what you are endorsing with your crap links. OBEDIENCE TRAINING. In my world and most normal parents world, obedience training is something you take your dog to.

 

Like animals? How so please explain. You offer no explaination for your opinion just lashing out & bashing. Which shows you have nothing.

How am I not fit to be a parent? Again, another bash you can't back up.

Um we are all teaching our children to be OBEDIENT, lol.

I chose to use a blanket instead of a cage w/walls.

I guess a parent that uses time out is awful, a parent that uses a playpen must be awful as well then right?

Again, go educate yourself.  They are only crap links bc they go AGAINST your opinion. There are many other links out there about this, go look.


 

 

JP-StrongForTwo
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 7:11 PM

I agree with this. If she isnt 18 yet, then her mom makes the rules. if she is 18, it is her choice to follow moms rules or move out. 


Quoting Anonymous:

I dont fully agree that blanket training in and of its self is abusive. 


but thats about the ONLY thing out of the 'pearl' book that i think its fine if done right. 


And their mother has every right to tell her girls they cant move out. If (i dont know) the girl is 18, she either listens to mom, or moves. its still her choice. 

I dont think this family is abusive. 

Controlling yes. 

can be overly religious yes. 

but not abusive. and not a cult. 



Bonita131
by Platinum Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 10:41 PM
1 mom liked this

 


Quoting Anonymous:

 

 

Quoting Bonita131:

 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 

 

Quoting Bonita131:

 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Who is scaring the shit out of them?

As I just told someone else: I was in the kitchen my son the living room, he reached for a lamp, I tapped the counter enough to get his attention, said his name and told him not to touch.

I dont see the issue and that is what she is doing. Not how I blanket trained but don't see that huge deal.

Oh and both my kids hated playpens, they would've been scarred if I force the use of a playpen.

Blanket training is nice, the child and blanket goes room to room with you, playpen can't.



Quoting Anonymous:

Oh yeah because a soft wall to contain a child is the same thing as scaring the shit out of them...not.



Quoting Anonymous:

She does not hit the child with a ruler! She bangs a spoon or ruler when the child moves off the blanket, she does not hit the child.





I did blanket training, no different than those that use a playpen!!

 

 If you blanket train, if you even believe in blanket training, you do not deserve to have children, period.  There's a great many loving childless couples out there who'd jump at the chance to adopt the children you readily use circus animal training on. Loving couples who'd actually treat them like the human beings they are, not abused dogs who're smacked or whipped every once in the while just to show them who's in charge.

LMAO, blanket training doesn't mean they are smacked or whipped?

I never smacked or whipped my child while blanket training, don't know anyone else that hit either for blanket training.

Go educate yourself before telling me I don't love my children, that I don't deserve my children or that I treat them like dogs.

Love when the uneducated try to be know it all self-righteous bitches.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blanket_training

http://www.aboverubies.net/2012/03/first-time-obedience-blanket-training.html

 

I've read all your crap links so you can quit wasting your time trying to convince me or anyone else you're a decent parent.  The only thing your links prove is you like to raise your children like animals instead of human beings & that you are not fit to be a parent. Take a long hard look at what you are endorsing with your crap links. OBEDIENCE TRAINING. In my world and most normal parents world, obedience training is something you take your dog to.

 

Like animals? How so please explain. You offer no explaination for your opinion just lashing out & bashing. Which shows you have nothing.

How am I not fit to be a parent? Again, another bash you can't back up.

Um we are all teaching our children to be OBEDIENT, lol.

I chose to use a blanket instead of a cage w/walls.

I guess a parent that uses time out is awful, a parent that uses a playpen must be awful as well then right?

Again, go educate yourself.  They are only crap links bc they go AGAINST your opinion. There are many other links out there about this, go look.


 

 

"Um we are all teaching our children to be OBEDIENT, lol."

People who adopt animals from the shelter teach the animals to be OBEDIENT. Your children are not animals and should not be compared to animals like you seem to enjoy doing. Normal Parents, sane parents, who actually love their children, do not try to break their baby or toddler or child's spirit by constantly punishing them until they finally give up and submit to your every demand. Sane parents do not act like religious cult freaks & use a blanket on the floor where they encourage the baby to move off the blanket, then punish them for doing so. You and parents like you are sick, & the sooner your children are free of your warped and abusive world the better.

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