Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Would you allow your child to go on vacation with a friend? *Edit*

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 12:28 AM
  • 274 Replies

Heres the sitch-- My stepson is 12 and in the 6th grade. One of his friends invited him to go to Florida for Spring Break (We live in Michigan). My dh (who has sole physical and 50/50 legal custody) knows the parents. They are responsible and trustworthy people. Dh says ok but bm says no because she claims that he is too young and because she doesn't know the parents. His friends parents aren't "friends" of my husbands but he has met them and conversed with them when ss would go to his friends house or friend comes to our house. His friends mom called bm about the trip because she thought it was curtious to call both parents. She (the friends mom) told dh when she called him that bm was basically uninterested in hearing what she had to say and just said she would think about it.  Last night she told ss that he couldnt go.   Ss is super bummed because he really wants to go. What would you do? Does dh need bm's permission to allow him to go? 


Just wanna say thanks for everyones input. There are some very valid points and Dh is talking to bm tonite or tomorrow about this. He has said that ss can't go unless bm says yes. So I guess we will see what happens.... 

by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 12:28 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 15, 2013 at 12:36 AM

I don't know if dh needs your ss mother's permission to go or not. I feel bad for your ss if he can't go. It sounds like a fun trip.  I used to go to my bff's parent's lake home for a week every summer and in return my bff came with us to my parent's beach house. Those weeks are some of my favorite childhood memories.  I hope it works out for him.

inspain
by Platinum Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 12:41 AM

Uh, it would depend on the family DD was invited by.  Do I know them?  Do I trust them?  

I went with a friend's family to Disney World and then to the Bahamas.  I was about 10 at Disney and 12 in the Bahamas.

I don't know if your DH needs permission.  I suppose it depends on their custody agreement.

jrfan4evermom
by Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 12:48 AM
We know the parents but aren't like best friends with them. She is a teacher at my sons school and he is a local businessman..... They are super nice people.

Quoting inspain:

Uh, it would depend on the family DD was invited by.  Do I know them?  Do I trust them?  

I went with a friend's family to Disney World and then to the Bahamas.  I was about 10 at Disney and 12 in the Bahamas.

I don't know if your DH needs permission.  I suppose it depends on their custody agreement.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 15, 2013 at 1:07 AM
6 moms liked this

I would send my kiddo if *I* was okay with the parents. I think, in a healthy co-parenting relationship BM decision should be STRONGLY considered, but it sounds like she is not open to learning more about the parents, the situation that her child would be placed in, or anything else. 

So, I think under healthy circumstances he should need BM consent, but it sounds like perhaps she might not be the most healthy parent, but that is just from a small paragraph.  

So.Ill.Mama
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 1:11 AM

idk.. i want to say i would as long as i knew and was ok w/ the parents, but anymore, you just can't be too sure of anyone. i try not to be all crazy-psycho-overprotective mom, but something like that i would find it really hard not to be..especially that far away. i'd be worried sick the entire time they were gone and calling a ton.

ughh...sorry, i'm probably not much help..

Baby5678
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 1:36 AM
2 moms liked this

Yes of course he would need her permission! I think its too young to go travelling anywhere without the parents or any family yet...and especially someone who the mother doesnt know

taminick32
by Bronze Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 1:38 AM
2 moms liked this
No I would not let my child go, I have a 15yr old and I wouldn't let him go either. I am really over protective.

We live by Disney, I just started letting my DS go to Disney with his friends without us.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 15, 2013 at 1:39 AM
2 moms liked this

DH and BM need to sit down and talk about this. BM has a right to say no, and DH shouldn't go behind her back and let him.

That being said, I would not allow my children to go on vacation with someone I've just "seen around" and "conversed with". No. Freaking. Way.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 15, 2013 at 1:40 AM
1 mom liked this

Doesn't mean they can't be serial killers and child molesters. All those people are "super nice people" with good jobs, too.

Quoting jrfan4evermom:

We know the parents but aren't like best friends with them. She is a teacher at my sons school and he is a local businessman..... They are super nice people.

Quoting inspain:

Uh, it would depend on the family DD was invited by.  Do I know them?  Do I trust them?  

I went with a friend's family to Disney World and then to the Bahamas.  I was about 10 at Disney and 12 in the Bahamas.

I don't know if your DH needs permission.  I suppose it depends on their custody agreement.



melissam21
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 1:40 AM
2 moms liked this
No.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)