Irresponsible or a different time?

[WithHope]

I remember walking down the road to my friends house, playing at the park and skating around the block when I was 6... all unchaperoned. Now, I wouldn't so much as let my 6 year old daughter play in the front yard without me. Is she incredibly immature, were my parents irresponsible, or have times changed just that much?

[mylifemylove864]

This.

This is the safest time ever and we perceieve it as the most dangerous.
.

Quoting Ayla-bellesmom:

"Times" haven't changed. People have changed. We live in statistically what is the safest and least violent time our world has ever known. 

What's changed is our perception of the world, the access we have to information, and the fact that we are constantly bombarded by a steady stream of crime and violence in the media. 

[notjstasocermom]

Quoting Anonymous:

Sadly, times have changed that much.  I'm in my 50s and I remember how different things were "back when."

actually times aren't much different, its just all out there now and back then it wasn't.

[lovinmama411]

Statistically, crime rates aren't any different than in the 1970's (things are actually a little safer now). Mass media and all the access we have to news makes things SEEM unsafe. We get to see all the horrible things happening all over the country and the world all day long if we want to. But I was about 9 or so when I started playing unsupersived in the neighborhood, and I took my 4 year old brother with me. I think parents now are just more aware, making them take extra precautions. I wouldn't let my kids play unsupervised at that age either. 

[onedown2012]

All the neighbors knew everybody and who every kid belonged to. Your parents may not have been watching you but somebody was. With the technology we have today, you don't have to go out and meet your neighbors for social interaction.

[amberlyp]

Times have changed

[Anonymous]

I think parents have changed, media has changed (think of all the fear based stories we read/see/hear being constantly connected to every news story going on, and think of how the media works to grab your attention), and people's perception of parenting, how Involved parents should be, and what a "good" parent has changed.

So, I think a 6 year old in theory could go to an area park with friends alone easily. I don't think it is irresponsible and it sounds like you lived quite close.

[Sandiekd21]

Times (and kids) have changed.
My only rule for playing outside was that I had to check in periodically and my curfew was dark. I had to be inside before the street lights came on.
I wouldn't let my kids play outside alone. DSD is six, and she gets to go into our fully fenced backyard by herself, but DD and DS can't even do that.
One of us has to be out there with them.

[Anonymous]

 While it is true that many things once only discussed behind closed doors are "out there" now, that isn't the only difference.  Times are very, very different now.  Did you live during the '50s or '60s?  There was a completely different attitude and social climate then.  There was a sense of community in neighborhoods  which is for the most part lacking today.  Everyone in the neighborhood knew who belonged there and who didn't.  They knew whose kids were whose and not only did everyone take responsibility for keeping an eye on the kids if they happened to be playing where you could see them, but also if you were a kid and got out of line you could be sure your parents would know about it by the time you got home.  Nobody had yet heard the term "latchkey kid" because very few mothers (none I knew of in our neighborhood) worked outside the home. 

Sure, there were pedophiles and perverts -  but they had to go to the "dirty" bookstore in the bad part of town and ask the guy for the stuff kept under the counter or in the back room to get what they wanted. They couldn't click a button in the privacy of their homes and be provided with a selection of every perversion known to man.  They had to show their faces in public and have people see them going where they went.  There was no Internet.  Sex was not  splashed across TV as it is now.  The steamiest things going were the afternoon soaps moms watched while doing the ironing before the kids got home from school.   Teen pregnancy was virtually unheard of.  Believe it or not, social mores were such that people actually cared not only about their own reputations, but about bringing shame on their families.  Yes, every school had  few "fast girls" - the ones who wore scarves to cover up their hickies and some of whom, it was rumored, had actually "done it."    And there was the occasional wedding after which the woman gave birth so soon  that it raised a few eyebrows and had people wondering if she had already been pregnant before the wedding. 

School shootings didn't happen.  There were problem kids, sure.  Just like the fast girls, every school had a small group of "toughs" - the boys in leather jackets who smoked cigarettes - but their worst crimes usually consisted of lipping off to teachers or shaking down younger kids for their lunch money.  Overall kids - people in general - still respected authority.  As a kid, you did NOT want to get sent to the principal's office.  If you did, you could bet that your parents weren't going to come to your defense. What ever punishment was dealt by the principal would be nothing compared to what was going to happen to you when your parents found out.  The sense of community I mentioned created a solidarity among the adults responsible for kids so that kids knew they couldn't play one against the other. When you were "busted" that was it, game over - time to take your licks.  Indeed, not only was violence not the norm in schools but also it was shocking to the public in general.  Assassination of a public figure, for example, was not a common thing.  When JFK was assassinated the entire country literally came  to  a standstill. People were crying in the streets.  The country mourned as if with a single mind.  Now, we accept such violence as simply a part of life.  We have, as a group, become numb to acts once considered unthinkable.

Indeed there is nothing new under the sun.  Infidelity, incest, child molesting, and certainly criminals of all sorts unfortunately have always been a part of the human condition.   But the disintegration of the sense of community  (as well as individual) responsibility has created a climate wherein deviants of all sorts operate with impunity.  People are no longer restrained by feeling ashamed by their bad behavior.  Personally I think this is largely due to the fact that offenders, rather than being forced to accept responsibility for their crimes, are often encouraged  instead to see themselves as victims.  They are "sick"  or "sex (or whatever) addicts" and so forth.

I'm not saying there haven't been some positive changes since then also.  Racial equality of course as well as acceptance of the GLBT community are certainly good things.  Legalization of abortion so that women are not forced to see some back-alley butcher and the ability for victims of crimes such as incest to be able to seek help without being stigmatized are positive forward steps.  Likewise, the establishment of shelters for victims of domestic violence which allow those victims a means to leave their abusers with comparative safety and begin a new life. 

But forward social movement has proven to be a double-edged sword.  We have no choice but to take the negatives along with the positives, it seems.  Either way, to say that nothing has changed in the social climate/mores except open discussion of various topics is simply untrue.  For better or worse, like it or not - things are not at all the same as they once were.

Quoting notjstasocermom:

 

 

Quoting Anonymous:

Sadly, times have changed that much.  I'm in my 50s and I remember how different things were "back when."

 

actually times aren't much different, its just all out there now and back then it wasn't.

 

[LAXmom21]

This exactly!!!!
Oh and my kids played outside by themselves since they were 4.

Quoting Ayla-bellesmom:

"Times" haven't changed. People have changed. We live in statistically what is the safest and least violent time our world has ever known. 

What's changed is our perception of the world, the access we have to information, and the fact that we are constantly bombarded by a steady stream of crime and violence in the media.