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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Depressed About My Pregnancy- Drank Heavily Before I Knew

Posted by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:15 PM
  • 319 Replies
1 mom liked this

I am ten weeks pregnant now, and my husband and I just told our families this weekend about the baby.

Everyone is overjoyed.  This baby will be the first grandchild on both sides, and they could not be happier for us.

The problem is that I am incredibly depressed and feel like I would give anything if I could just die suddenly, if the ground could just swallow me whole.  What should be the happiest time in my life has been completely ruined by the fact that I was drinking heavily before I found out I was pregnant, at 4 weeks and a few days after my last period.

My husband and I just started talking about having kids.  We had unprotected sex once, several days before when I was supposed to ovulate.  I left town for a work retreat and was gone throughout my fertile period.  I continued to drink like I normally would- almost nightly, just a glass or 2 of wine, rarely more.  As a precaution, 5-6 days before my period, I took a pregnancy test (the expensive, early detection kind), which was negative.

When I was exactly 28 days from my last period, I had a party night and drank way too much.  I had about 12 glasses of wine and a beer.  I was drunk, but I was not sick or falling over. I am ashamed to say that I even drove myself home after the party that night, with no problems (other than being buzzed).

The next day, a Saturday, I had 3 drinks, then on Sunday I had 4 or 5 beers at a 6 hour long cookout with friends.

The next day, I felt like my period was late, so I took a pregnancy test, and it was positive. 

My doctor says that there is a small but significant chance that my child will have fetal alcohol related birth defects.  He says that a binge drinking episode in the first trimester is the most likely to cause severe damage. 

I am so devastated, I cannot think about anything else other than what I have done to my child, to myself, to my family.  Everyone around me is celebrating, and I am grieving.  I feel like I am being punished for being an idiot and not realizing that once is all it takes to create a life, and one weekend of bad choices has ruined my life and my child's life.

At ten weeks pregnant now, I am too far along to have an abortion without anyone knowing.  (I woudl have to be sedated, which would require someone to drive me to and from the clinic.  My husband will not do it, as he is very prolife and insists that the baby will be fine.)


by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
hip2it
by Silver Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:17 PM
18 moms liked this

I, along with a lot of friends, all drank heavily before finding out we were pregnant.  All the kids are perfectly healthy.  There is risk, but it's not guaranteed.  Don't drink anymore.

Irenesmommy
by Gold Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:19 PM
9 moms liked this

I found out I was pregnant the monday after my 30th birthday party, needless to say I drank way too much that night. The dr told me that I should be fine and the baby should be fine just don't do it anymore now that you know. DD was born perfectly healthy, don't stress too much, stress can do a lot more damage than a couple nights out partying


lucky2Beeme
by Ruby Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:20 PM
6 moms liked this

Focus on the beautiful child growing inside you. You can't change the past. Stop focusing on it. There are risks even if you didn't drink. I know people that did it right by the books who had babies with problems. Think positive and  Lighten up on yourself. hugs and prayers for a healthy baby.

Mcelly
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:20 PM

Hw far long were you?

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:22 PM
You and your baby will be fine
norwgnwood
by Platinum Member on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:22 PM
3 moms liked this
Chances are your baby will be perfect. A lot of women share this story. I did way worse than just drink before I found out I was pregnant and my son is a genius. :-)
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ColleenF30
by Lube Girl on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:23 PM
1 mom liked this

Many have done that Mama, and most come out okay.

Yogamom08
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:24 PM
I drank a lot before I found out I was pregnant with my son. I didn't find out until my period was a week late. He is perfectly healthy :)
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Mcelly
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:24 PM
1 mom liked this

I have to go. But doctors tend to exagerate the risks so they can cover ther asses in case of a lawsuit. Take your vitamins and follic acid. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 16, 2013 at 8:25 PM
1 mom liked this

A lot of women have done the same thing. Some don't know for months that they are pregnant, and their kiddos are fine. your baby will be fine too!!  To make yourself feel better, you can get the testing done to rule out most things. but honestly, don't beat yourself up about this. there are too many other things to come that will make you cry, feel guilty, etc. It is what I call Mommy Guilt!

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