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If you smoke.....**UPDATED**

 Shes Gone. Please consider quitting.

 

I am going to get up on my soap box here. Please listen up. Smoking Kills. Its ugly and painful and breaks the hearts of the people who love you. If you come near me with a cigerette in your hand or mouth I will do my best to take it away from you. Quit now, before you make your family feel like their world is coming to an end.  I am watching my mother in law fade away to nothing. She was the most vibrant, energetic loving person. She is the whole families rock. She is love personified. She is peace and joy. She is warm hugs, laughter you can feel in your soul and the ear you need when the world is trying to drag you under. I never knew that peice of my heart was missing until she filled it. And shes going to leave us soon.  Our hearts are breaking.

Within five years of quitting smoking there is a proven 13% reduction in the risk of death from all causes, a 47% risk reduction in heart disease-related deaths, and a 27% reduction in the risk of death from stroke.

Within 20 years of quitting, the risk of dying among former smokers was similar to that of lifetime nonsmokers for most causes of death, with the exception of lung cancer.

People who quit smoking have a lower risk of lung cancer than if they had continued to smoke.

I am 6 years, 5 months and 16 days smoke free. I know its hard. But watching someone you love so much they feel like an extention of your being slowly and painfully die is much much much harder. Don't be that person to someone else. Please quit.

**Added** I am sorry people feel like I am telling you what to do. I am heartbroken. I don't want to see anyone else suffer and if that means sounding like a quit smoking nazi then so be it. I am going to bed. Its been a long few days and its going to be a long few weeks... 6 weeks is what they estimate.  Please, for your loved ones, atleast consider quitting.

**To Clarify*** I would never snatch a smoke out of the hands of a stranger but if I might try to talk to them about quitting. Especially if they are smoking near me. At the very least I would ask them to either put it out or smoke elsewhere and explain why. My hope is that they will consider my words and the reason behind them and my tears of grief and make a good choice.  I only have a few people who are close to me who smoke and all of them have been in this room with my mother in law and have vowed to quit.

I am saddened by how many people are not concerned by what they are going to put their family through at the end. Ultimately its your choice, but if I could transfer my pain to you for just a minute so you can feel what I feel right now.... you wouldn't want to bring it on anyone you love. 

by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 2:46 AM
Replies (41-50):
rjsmommy214
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 9:03 AM
Don't have to tell me. My papa died a slow painful death due to smoking. He quit but the damage was done. I'm sorry you're going through this.
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kmorales7690
by Ruby Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 1:05 PM
That informations is available to everyone. There are commercials billboards radio broadcasts about it. People who are goin to do it don't care.

Quoting 1lv2stks3nlz4ev:

 I am hoping that people will see the other side of it. The pain they cause others. The heartache.


Quoting kmorales7690:

Well no matter how crappy it is for you peoe are going to do it. It isn't yours or anyone else's place or business to tell someone what to do with their bodies. At least it's just cigarettes not meth.

 

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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 17, 2013 at 1:15 PM
Thanks for the PSA. Congrats for being able to quit. It's pretty tough to find anything these days that doesn't potentially cause cancer or some other threat to life. I know people who've died from lung cancer that never smoked or spent much time around second hand smoke. I also know peoples who have smoked 50 years that are perfectly healthy. You start dying the day you are born. I would prefer to live a shorter life doing what I like and being carefree rather than alonger life being afraid of what might be killing me. That's my stance. Now, excuse me while I step outside and have a cigarette.
want10more
by Gold Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:56 AM

 

hell girl that wasn't a lecture, that was a truth, and an offering of support. and WOW I thank you for that! yes i do wanna quit, but i gotta tell you... and for some reason i know you'll know what i'm saying... it scares me! WHY? when i gear up to say, THIS is gonna be your last day, i get really REALLY REALLY anxious and i smoke more than normal. but still....... i keep telling myself, you know what you don't gotta stop for FOREVER. just today. yes i'll get anxious but i get anxious when i smoke, so..... yes i could get fat. but i'm married, i already caught him. i'm fat anyway, he could put up w/ a lil more fat. i must tell you i NEVER smoke in the house anymore, and NEVER around kids. but i'm painting my kitchen, living room, dining room. my ex used to smoke LOTS, now he's gone. i want to quit, and paint, so that i never again have that damned stench in my house. i'm an asthmatic, and my kids too. doesn't matter i don't smoke around em, they smell it on me. and it's just SO MUCH FUN to go to dr's appts and have to admit i am still smoking. plus the expense, for the smokes and the puffers for me. the yellow teeth, the stench on your clothes, most of all the KNOWING that your (my) kids know it's gonna kill me and i'd rather smoke than see them graduate, get married, have kids. this is SO not worth it. and besides, my wuuuunnnnnerful hubby says if i quit, he's gonna buy me new boobies! WHEEEE! INCENTIVE! LOL.

Quoting Ayla-bellesmom:

I never ever preach about smoking because I know people hate it ( reformed smoker here too lol) but mama, you sound like you are SO ready.

I would never hammer on at someone who didn't want to quit because no-one is going to stop until they're ready but to me, it sounds like you are all but done. I've been where you are, I know that feeling of just being tired of it and the guilt every time you think about it and I'm telling you, you are already there in your head and that's most of the battle, right there.

I think you know you're ready and you just have to take that first step.

The thing is, the worst case scenario is that you give up and you're right where you are now. Best case scenario is that you surprise the hell out of yourself and that you kick it's ass.

You will never regret quitting, I promise you. If you do decide to quit and you need to talk....or even if you need help .....pm me.

OK....lecture over. Lol


Quoting want10more:

i don't like reformed smokers, they are like holier than thou. but damn skippy they ain't wrong. i do NOT like to hear it, but but i hurt my kids, my hubby n myself by being a  smoker. i HATE being a smoker, i just am not stong nuff to stop yet. hopefully i can soon. it's not just being smelly the yellow teeth the yellow nails. its the lung cancer, the FACT that i am doing something WILLINGLY that will take me away from my kids before i need to go. they should not have to see mommy fight to breathe, die from cancer. it is not just my body i am hurting,  i am hurting my whole family, becuz of a weakness and i hate that weakness. and the reason i don't like hearing it is becuz it hits too close to home. smoking equals death. period. and oh, i so don't want to go down that way, God willing i'd beat it before then.


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2013 at 4:40 AM
-sigh- I wish I could quit smoking. I keep telling myself that it will happen soon but it never does. I told my SO today that I think we should quit. I feel like I would go crazy without ciggerettes but I absolutely hate it. I don't want my kids growing up with parents that smoke. It's a big waste of money, and it makes your appearances worse. I've been smoking for 7 years and REALLY want to quit :(
Ayla-bellesmom
by Gold Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:37 PM

I TOTALLY understand that fear. I'll admit straight up that I LOVED smoking. I mean, I hated all the side effects, I hated the guilt, what I knew I was doing to my body, and all the money I wasted but the ACT of smoking, I loved. I loved waking up on the morning and sitting on my front porch with a coffee in one hand and a cig in the other, and that feeling of peace and relaxation that just engulfs you.

I loved that feeling and even though I don't have cravings anymore for the nicotine, sometimes I still find myself pining for THAT feeling, and sometimes the idea that I'll never smoke again catches me off guard and it scares me too.

BUT, let me tell you what is even better than that feeling (and I know this sounds like a total cliche, but it's true).  The feeling I get everytime I run up a flight of stairs without getting winded, the feeling of waking up in the morning and breathing clearly, when I get sick and it only lasts a couple of days versus the WEEKS it used to, and honestly...just the feeling of empowerment that I get from knowing that I kicked this addictions ass when it used to completely own and rule my whole life before. The fact that I was just like "You know what? Fuck no. No more" and stuck to it, even though it was hard and some days I wanted to die and some days I would literally find myself talking myself OUT of quitting and I could feel my weakness creeping back up and every single time I stamped that mo'fo back down". That makes me feel strong, and in control and powerful. It's an awesome feeling.

THe BEST feeling is when my kid talks about how she loves that I don't smoke anymore. It's a proud feeling.


And you know what? I can still get up in the morning and sit outside in the quiet and relax, except that now I do it with a cup of tea instead of coffee (And honestly, sometimes coffee too, but I couldn't drink coffee for awhile after quitting) and it's still JUST as relaxing, it's just my (more and more silent) addiction telling me that it's not the same, or just as good.

And if you DO decide to quit, and then you start smoking again.....don't beat yourself up. There is some statistic floating around out there about how many times it takes people to quit for good that I can't remember, but it took me 7 tries to kick it for real.  The fact that you're trying is amazing in itself, and if you fall off the wagon, just give yourself some times, set a  new quit date and try again.


I quit cold turkey, and something that really helped me was actually meditation and I listenened to those cheesey smoking hynosis recordings for the first week. You can find them online, I actually downloaded mine on my phone. I also use a tracker that tallies how much money I've saved, and how long, to the minute, since I've quit. It also gives you markers, telling you how your health is improving in certain ways every so often. I found that watching that was helpful, it was like a reminder not to fall of the wagon, because i could see how far I'd come.

This is probably an individual thing, but I didn't wait until I ran out of smokes, either. I set a quit date and I ripped up whatever smokes we had left. Yes, I had the feeling about wasting money but in reality, I realized that I was WASTING that money whether I smoked or not, and ripping them up was just smoething that empowered me to feel like I could do it. 

I also used a mantra. When I felt like I was slipping, I would repeat all of the reasons why i was quitting. Mine was "For my health, for my child, for my husband, for my wallet". Yours would be whatever is most important to you, but I would sit there and repeat it over and over and over until the craving passed.

I also sat down and figured out my triggers (times during my day when I smoked out of habit....like after a meal, with coffee etc) and I either cut them out or changed routine. After a meal, I went for a walk instead. I cut out coffee. That kind of thing.

These are just some things that worked for ME. My husband used anti-smoking aids, he liked the gum and lozanges the best. You have to figure out the best way for YOU.

All of those incentives and plans for when you quit are awesome and those will help a ton too! The fact that your husband doesn't smoke is a HUGE bonus. I don't think I would have been near as successful, or at least it would have been MUCH harder if my husband didn't quit with me.

Good luck mama! You can do it, I know you can!

Quoting want10more:


hell girl that wasn't a lecture, that was a truth, and an offering of support. and WOW I thank you for that! yes i do wanna quit, but i gotta tell you... and for some reason i know you'll know what i'm saying... it scares me! WHY? when i gear up to say, THIS is gonna be your last day, i get really REALLY REALLY anxious and i smoke more than normal. but still....... i keep telling myself, you know what you don't gotta stop for FOREVER. just today. yes i'll get anxious but i get anxious when i smoke, so..... yes i could get fat. but i'm married, i already caught him. i'm fat anyway, he could put up w/ a lil more fat. i must tell you i NEVER smoke in the house anymore, and NEVER around kids. but i'm painting my kitchen, living room, dining room. my ex used to smoke LOTS, now he's gone. i want to quit, and paint, so that i never again have that damned stench in my house. i'm an asthmatic, and my kids too. doesn't matter i don't smoke around em, they smell it on me. and it's just SO MUCH FUN to go to dr's appts and have to admit i am still smoking. plus the expense, for the smokes and the puffers for me. the yellow teeth, the stench on your clothes, most of all the KNOWING that your (my) kids know it's gonna kill me and i'd rather smoke than see them graduate, get married, have kids. this is SO not worth it. and besides, my wuuuunnnnnerful hubby says if i quit, he's gonna buy me new boobies! WHEEEE! INCENTIVE! LOL.

Quoting Ayla-bellesmom:

I never ever preach about smoking because I know people hate it ( reformed smoker here too lol) but mama, you sound like you are SO ready.

I would never hammer on at someone who didn't want to quit because no-one is going to stop until they're ready but to me, it sounds like you are all but done. I've been where you are, I know that feeling of just being tired of it and the guilt every time you think about it and I'm telling you, you are already there in your head and that's most of the battle, right there.

I think you know you're ready and you just have to take that first step.

The thing is, the worst case scenario is that you give up and you're right where you are now. Best case scenario is that you surprise the hell out of yourself and that you kick it's ass.

You will never regret quitting, I promise you. If you do decide to quit and you need to talk....or even if you need help .....pm me.

OK....lecture over. Lol


Quoting want10more:

i don't like reformed smokers, they are like holier than thou. but damn skippy they ain't wrong. i do NOT like to hear it, but but i hurt my kids, my hubby n myself by being a  smoker. i HATE being a smoker, i just am not stong nuff to stop yet. hopefully i can soon. it's not just being smelly the yellow teeth the yellow nails. its the lung cancer, the FACT that i am doing something WILLINGLY that will take me away from my kids before i need to go. they should not have to see mommy fight to breathe, die from cancer. it is not just my body i am hurting,  i am hurting my whole family, becuz of a weakness and i hate that weakness. and the reason i don't like hearing it is becuz it hits too close to home. smoking equals death. period. and oh, i so don't want to go down that way, God willing i'd beat it before then.




     

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:40 PM
Yep.


Quoting Anonymous:

There's nothing worse than reformed smokers.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:43 PM

If you touched my cigarettes I'd knock your teeth out. It is my right to choose to smoke as it is your to choose not to. It is MY hard earned money being spent on those cigarettes, which are not cheap.  It would be no different than me laying my hands on something you own - be it your car, phone, ipad, whatever.  

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2013 at 2:50 PM
1 mom liked this

I admire your position, but you have to remember that not everyone feels the exact same way that you do.

My MIL died of lung cancer.  Hell, she even had it twice.  When she was in her late 50s, she had a third of one of her lungs removed due to cancer - the cancer went away after further treatment.  She continued to smoke.  She died at the age of 83, just two months shy of her 84th birthday, after being diagnosed with lung cancer, for the second time, three years earlier.  At the time of her diagnosis, they gave her six months to a year.  

I asked my MIL, as she laid in my home during the final days of her life under Hospice care, if she had it to do it all over again, would she have quit smoking the first time.  She said "No.   I lived this long, I've had a good life.  I enjoyed my cigarettes. What good is thirty more years on your life if you aren't enjoying it?"

I happen to like her philosophy.  Now, I do recognize that smoking is not good for you and I have switched to smoking electronic cigarettes, and that works for me.  

I'm very sorry that your MIL is ill and that your family is experiencing this.  Please remember that lung cancer also strikes people who have never had a cigarette in their life.  And, people who have smoked for 50 years die of things other than lung cancer.  I know that what you are going through is all consuming, but it is just your experience.  You can't use your experience to dictate what others should do.

Moe1521
by Gold Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 3:01 PM
I agree. I am an ex-smoker as well. I tried quitting like 6 times because other people encouraged me to. I failed all times after only a few days. I quit about 2 months ago. Why? Because I finally wanted to, for me. I didn't quit for health reasons though. I quit simply because it was boring me, and I no longer enjoyed it. As far as health goes, I'm gonna die one way or another. You know?


OP - I just recently lost my papa. In January. He was a smoker from a very young boy (like ten years old) and smoked until he was 80. He died from a combination of COPD, emphysema, CHF, and pneumonia. It was a very long and drawn out death, and I couldn't stand to see him that way. I'm sorry for what you are struggling with.


Quoting Anonymous:

I am a former, and while I do see all her points, I wouldn't try to hassle anyone to quit, although I would like to to my mom because she worries me, and her mom died of lung cancer, but I Know as a former smoker it really doesn't do squat to a smoker when you do that so I don't. It's really one of those things where a self revelation is needed.



Quoting Anonymous:

There's nothing worse than reformed smokers.

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