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My children's easy life is over EDIT

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
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Starting tomorrow things are changing. The only chores I've asked my children since Friday after school was to pick up after themselves and for one of them to pick up the bathroom and the other one to clean their stairs leading up their bedroom. It's Saturday night and it's still not done. Also I cleaned my bedroom four days ago. Tonight I cleaned up my room again after they had hung out in my bedroom during the week and found over 35 items of theirs. Being in my room is a privilege not a right it is ending today/tomorrow. I need my privacy my one place I can be that is clean calming and relaxing. Also I made them their first chore list things have to change. Sincerely a fed up mother
Any advice ? I'm tired of being a housekeeper and slave to my seven and eight-year-old children. EDIT: I HAD MY CHILDREN HELP ME WITH MY CHORES TODAY TO SEE WHAT ITS LIKE PICKING UP AFTER EVERYBODY. I LITERALLY HAVE A BOX FULL OF THEIR STUFF IVE PICKED UP FROM DOWNSTAIRS. THEY DID GREAT HELPING, ACTUALLY SEEMED HAPPY TO HELP. NOW HOW DO I "GIVE" THEIR STUFF BACK? A LITTLE AT A TIME? SHOULD I WAIT LONGER? THEY DID DO WELL TODAY.
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:45 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:55 AM
Bump
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:56 AM
Start grounding them. Take their games toys tvs ect. Until they start following the rules then give them their freedom back. Having all those items is a privilege.
Lovemyshadows
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:56 AM
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Set them down and tell them the new rules.  The things left in your room are now your property.  They need to understand what happens when your requests are not honored.  What ever punishment you choose.  At 7 & 8 they can understand that.  Our kids were usually grounded...no phone, no friends over, no going out to friends homes, and added chores....vacuuming, dusting. Cleaning windows ( they hated that one) .  That's my suggestion.

LucyMom08
by BS Intolerant on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:58 AM
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I take away all items that aren't put back in their proper spots...they have to earn them back by doing what they are supposed to...and I keep taking away whatever they leave out until it sinks in...I have to refresh their memories every so often...but it works fine here...
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Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:58 AM

Good for you!  When toys get left in MY room, they don't get them back for awhile.  Also, if I'm sweeping and I tell them to pick up their toys and they don't, I sweep them up and throw them away.  Good luck...I started training mine young, not sure how hard it will be with older kids.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:59 AM
Thank you! Do they earn the items back I found in my room all at once? Or one at a time?


Quoting Lovemyshadows:

Set them down and tell them the new rules.  The things left in your room are now your property.  They need to understand what happens when your requests are not honored.  What ever punishment you choose.  At 7 & 8 they can understand that.  Our kids were usually grounded...no phone, no friends over, no going out to friends homes, and added chores....vacuuming, dusting. Cleaning windows ( they hated that one) .  That's my suggestion.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 17, 2013 at 3:59 AM
Thank you I'm planning on doing a little of this to


Quoting Anonymous:

Good for you!  When toys get left in MY room, they don't get them back for awhile.  Also, if I'm sweeping and I tell them to pick up their toys and they don't, I sweep them up and throw them away.  Good luck...I started training mine young, not sure how hard it will be with older kids.


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 17, 2013 at 4:01 AM
Thank you , glad you all agree with me I was kind of feeling bad about this but it's time for them to pick up after themselves.


Quoting Anonymous:

Start grounding them. Take their games toys tvs ect. Until they start following the rules then give them their freedom back. Having all those items is a privilege.

LHummel
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 4:03 AM

BUMP!

DarlaHood
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 4:04 AM
1 mom liked this

My suggestion is to state a clear link to something that they care about, and then just follow through.

"If you want to play in my room tomorrow, then all toys must be picked up and put away by 5:00 today. 

Don't remind them.  When it's 5, make a note of it.  Then tomorrow let them know, Nope, can't play in here today because the toys weren't picked up by 5.  And don't have any conversation or argument about it.  Simply say, I guess we can try again tomorrow.

You could also make the linked privilege something that night.  "You may have dessert tonight (or tv show, movie, game with mom, etc..) only if your stuff is cleared from my room and put away by 5 this afternoon. 

Then don't remind.  Take note.  Follow through.  They can try again the next day.  If you find the privileges that are meaningful, this saves so much grief, especially with teens.  (If you want to have internet tonight, then (insert task) must be done by (insert time limit).  And you can also specifically design tasks by noting specific parts or steps (5 steps to a clean bathroom), and let them know it's an all or nothing deal.  No negotiations.

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