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A New Me-New Body-New Life-New Attitude

Posted by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:27 AM
  • 8 Replies
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love you sign

I had someone who I was involved with for four years that I truly loved, and expressed an interest of wanting to settle down and get married to.    We were there for one another and were always supportive of each other. Unfortunately this person decided he didn't want to do that, getting married that is and sadly I decided to end the relationship.  As my mom would say why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, and I was wanting more out of life then I was getting, but through it all we were able to stay friends.    Back then I was quite heavy, 330 lbs.    So my now friend didn't have to worry about anyone looking at me, no one would of wanted me back then so I was safe, I was his.  When we had disagreements I was a fat so and so, or a pig/cow, real degrading statements.  Through the grace of God, in 2012  I went through Gastric Bypass surgery, and 14 months later I am down 140 lbs. I'm healthier and happier then I have ever been in a long while.  That same person who didn't want to marry, and be with me for the rest of our life perked up as the pounds began melting away.  He became jealous and mean, and possessive if anyone who was male (mostly friends) were noticing how nice I looked or they gave a hug or congratulations.   If they were caucasian or hispanic it was okay they talked to me, but if they were african american then he was livid. He became Possessive, and domineering, He's also a closet racist who would say things degrading to others that I didn't like and didn't agree with. So my friendship ended with him.

I have moved on in my life, and am working and busy within my church and am getting on beautifully,  I am looking to find that special person who I may ultimately meet some day, my friend can't deal with it, and tells me:  I am the best thing that happened in your life, and you'll never find anyone who will be there, and do for you like I did.  He is quite simply jealous that I am an independent woman who can make her own decisions and I don't need to rely on anyone else to be there for me anymore (Him).   I'm told by this person I need to see a psychiatrist to deal with my issues of why I am against him, and can't agree with his way of thinking.  Well I am in the 21st century, not living back in the 50's.

I needed to vent, and get this off my chest, and feel so much better for it now

The Christmas picture is of me on the right at 330 lbs with a friend the other one is in January of 2013 where I am with my son at 190 lbs

by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:27 AM
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Replies (1-8):
by Beth on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:33 AM
Congratulations on your weight loss you look fantastic! Don't go back to that twisted guy move forward and find someone that is deserving of your love.
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by Ruby Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:35 AM

I hope you find someone who deserves you!
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by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:46 AM

I too had gastric bypass back in 2008 and lost 250 lbs but I had been married along time!!! He cheated thru out our whole marriage and I was miserable altho guys still looked at me at my size, I always had a pretty face!!! He was never a name caller but cheated and I spent many days and nights just functioning by going to work and going home to bed with depression!!!! He was the love of  my life!!! My best friend thought that when I lost the weight , I would leave... Well I didn't and it has been 4 1/2 yrs since surgery and I too look good and feel 100% better than I have in yrs!! I turn 49 this month and I don't think I look or feel that old.

              I think your ex is just jealous and there is someone better out there for You as there is for Me!!! We are currently not together we have broken up 3 times since Thanksgiving... I must say I like my new found independence. Altho now I do everything for myself including bringing wood in for my stove and stacking it when its delivered , I feel quite empowered!!! You will find someone to marry that will love You !!! I found that person awhile ago that is someone I fell hard for but just to tell you something had my husband never done anything to me as far as cheating , I would never have looked elsewhere because he had my love 110% for along time!! This Month is our 26 th wedding anniversary and makes  28 yrs together..along chunk of My life but I have 1 daughter with him and she  is 27 and understands my situation and she tells him when he says things to her , that he should have felt differently and did things differently yrs ago and that I took enough shit from him because she was there and understood as she got older!! sorry so long but I could go on forever...Gl You will be fine and someone will love you for you!!!

              Now mind You I love my life now and wish that my Husband would just give up and leave me alone and move on..I do love him ,I'm just not inliove with him anymore. I have found someone that loves Me for Me. But I always took care of my DH.. I was the bread winner and paid all the bills with my pay, hell I even bought a house in 2006 figuring maybe he would see things differently and maybe something together would make him see the light but It didn't..

     I even moved out of the city where we both grew up in and moved to another state to get away from the Bimbo's he went with and one he even made a child with, talk about slap in the face.. but had we not moved I wouldn't have my job a good job and the house. I bought the house without him on the mortgage. But he can't afford the house . He never really worked he just did his own thing and made money on the side. Now he is disabled , severely diabetic and has lost toes and I'm supposed to be there for him? I was until this last crap.

    Like your ex he is also very jealous, I never gave him a reason to be because I was always out going and friendly before the wls...Very glad I took the weight off as it opened my eyes and heart to whst is really otu there!!! I told him I didn't want to spend the next 20 yrs of my life looking over my shoulders wondering what he's doing and whats going to happen next!!!

      I just want to be happy.. If you'd like to chat anytime inbox Me ,would be glad to chat... Take care and be Happy with yourself ,sorry I couldn't see your pic's because I'm on a work computer and they filter everything.. take care...


by Ruby Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:50 AM

You look awesome

by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:54 AM

Congrats! That is awesome! You go girl!

by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:58 AM
You look amazing!! Find someone who deserves you and makes you happy! I wish you the best!
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by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 17, 2013 at 11:00 AM
Congrats on your weight loss and new attitude!
by on Mar. 17, 2013 at 11:07 AM

Thanks for the support everyone, I appreciate it.  I know I made the right decsion, and I know in time everything will fall into place as it should.  There is no looking back, just onward, upward, and forward

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