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Family wedding - Am I a complaining b**** or reasonable woman?

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

Issue #1: I hate dancing because I feel silly.

I have a cousin that is getting married this summer. I don't want to go because I hate to dance. At all of our previous family weddings, I just sit there and watch everyone else. She lives 30 minutes away so I can't use the "I can't afford a plane ticket" excuse. I think of it this way, one less guest means one less dinner plate to pay for.

Issue #2: No one ever asks to stay over!

A week before I will get phone calls like, "I'm taking Delta and we're landing on Thursday at 4:22pm. See ya then!" Since we live close to one another and I have the bigger house, everyone feels entitled to come over. This means my DS (14) and DD (17) sleep on an air mattress on our bedroom floor. That leaves 3 bedrooms for guests and everyone else sleeps on an air mattress in the basement. 

Issue #3: We foot the bill!

It is expensive to have 23 people in your home for a few days. No one reimburses us for: 

  • Gas: Used to drive them to and from the airport (1.5 hrs each way)
  • Extra groceries: Purchased to feed everyone (And if we do eat out, they don't want to pay)
  • Higher bills: due to more electricity, gas, and water being used by everyone
  • Rental car: We usually rent a minivan or Surburban because my husband drives a 2-seater and my car only seats 4 -which is not enough space to transport people and their luggage
  • Lost wages: My husband and I have to take off in order to chauffeur everyone to and from the airport


My family feels entitled to stay at our home for the wedding simply because we are family. We only speak on holidays and birthdays, I'm only close to about 4 of the 23 people that are supposed to be coming. I told my cousin that we have 3 hotels close to us and that she should ask them for a group rate, but she said, "Why should we make our family spend more money on hotel fees when they can stay with us?"

Please help me! I'm dreading July 20th! Am I being a complaining bitch or am I a reasonable woman? 

EDIT: Entertaining family leaves me physically and emotionally exhausted. I'm battling depression and really don't want to do deal with people. Lately however, I've been kicking my depression in the ass.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 17, 2013 at 5:08 PM
Replies (81-89):
by Silver Member on Mar. 17, 2013 at 10:23 PM

I think you're just being a bitch.

by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:25 AM
I agree

Quoting halleys_mommy_1:

Oh me too but ya. I wouldn't want to put up w that shit.

Quoting MrsWhite101610:

I hope she doesn't have bed bugs but I'm sure this would help keep them away.

Quoting halleys_mommy_1:

Lol I'm serious

Quoting MrsWhite101610:


Quoting halleys_mommy_1:

say u have bed bugs lol

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:32 AM

by Anonymous 8 on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:45 AM
I would love to have my family over. I would not complain. But I don't struggle with depression, and I'm very close with my family.
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 5:56 AM
1 mom liked this

Even if it's family, it should never been assumed that it's an automatic "yes" on staying in their home.

There's nothing wrong with asking FIRST and also being willing to fork over some cash for expenses, including food and gas.

Family CAN be exhausting and stressful. You're not being a bitch in my book.

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:28 AM

 IDK... when my family and friends stay with me, they help out, cooking, gas money, take us out to dinner, buy groceries, etc.  Maybe tell the relatives who are flying in to rent a car, because you are unable to pick them up.

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:34 AM
I'm sorry but this is your house which means its your rules. You are letting your family railroad you into letting them stay and mooch for the few days. Just say no. Say the kids are sick or there just isn't room or frankly you're just not in the mood for guests. It's perfectly alright to not want company. Also suck it up about the dancing, if you don't like to dance then don't, but don't skip the wedding just because of that. Now if this is say her fourth marriage ok I get it don't go, or if you all aren't that close then it's ok. But if you are close and the dancing is the only reason then just go and try to enjoy yourself.
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by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:37 AM

say. NO.

Practice it with me.

"Im sorry, we are unable to host you, let me find you a nice hotel"

by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 8:41 AM
Not your wedding not your problem. I'd just txt them back with. Yeah, it will be great to see you. What hotel are you staying at? Maybe we could meet up for lunch or dinner? That way its obvious they aren't staying with you.
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