Why bother having kids? Get a pet instead....EDIT more info
- 295 Replies
Why do people have kids and not bother to raise them? It don't undestand it. I have three kids, I married well and responsibly so I could be a SAHM. I homeschool, my kids are well socialized and I enjoy my children while teaching them. What I don't understand is how someone gives birth to a baby, puts him in a daycare all day, then school all day, and it's "normal". When the kids are on break, they can't wait until their children go back to school. If you only have evenings and weekends for your kids, why not get a dog instead? I understand that parenting is hard, but there are little lives counting on you and need more time then you are willing to give. Nobody ever gets older and says, "I wish I had spent more time when my kids were younger at work/ college classes/ dating."
Some people have said that since my DH only sees our kids nights and weekends he is a bad dad. I never said that both the mom AND dad should be with the kids all the time. Of course someone has to work, but someone should be raising the kids (teaching them, playing with them, explaining things to them, and helping them).
Yes, I know there are single moms, but the majority of moms work because they want the "extras". They could stay at home, but don't want to. If that's the case, have your career and skip having the kid you dump in daycare.
And I haven't responded to post all day because I was with my kids doing schoolwork!
Quoting Anonymous:what right do you have to say who should have kids and who shouldn't? i agree, there are a few people out there that really shouldn't be parents, but you are making a generalization. i am a single mother, i HAVE TO WORK or my kid does not eat. But I own my own home, have a great job and do it all on my own without help from my son's father.
Good for you for 'marrying well' so that you can be a SAHM. I would like to spend more time with my son, but at least my job is understanding and has flex hours so i get in early, leave early and get to spend the better part of the evening with my child. yeah, my son is in daycare all day...he is very smart, and learns a lot there actually (he's 3). He socializes with kids his own age and does not feel that mommy does not love him because she's at work. In today's society, it's 'normal' for BOTH parents to work. You are not in the 'norm'. So before you start bashing other parents for working, putting their kids in school and daycare because they have to in order to make a living and support their family in this economy, I would take a second look at your life and decide if you are truly 'happy' being a stay at home mom with hardly any help from dad because he's working his butt off to support a family of 5 alone.
I am not by my children's side all the time. They go to friends' houses to play, children's church sunday mornings, ride bikes with friends in the neighborhood. My teen has had more freedoms as she gets older. I'm raising them so when I am not there, they do make good choices. It's impossible to be with your kids 24/7. Raising kids is about daily guiding them, so when they get to these same choices alone, they know what to do. It's not what daycares and babysitters do. They watch your kids physically so they don't hurt themselves. That not child raising. Mom's job is important...it's sad that no one understand that anymore.
Quoting raegansmom:
How do you teach your children independence if you insist on being by their side every single moment? Everyone, especially children need time to explore who they are without their parents telling them who they should be. It's about balance. The kids who aren't allowed this until they leave home as young adults are the ones who are wild and rebellious. Trust your kids enough to make good, age appropriate decisions all through their lives. It gives them confidence & freedom
OH, so you believe there is only one way to raise children, and of course it is YOUR way? Tell me how your prove the advantages of you supreme method. Do you think your kids will be more successful than my children and other who are in daycare? Do you home school tolerance and diversity, because your post suggests you are arrogent and judgemental?
There are so many reasons people have children. There are so many ways to raise children to be successful & happy adults. Can't we all just get along?
Some interesting things for you to ponder http://parenthood.library.wisc.edu/Hoffman/Hoffman.html
You can't seriously be suggesting that everyone homeschool. Homeschooling is not the ideal situation for everyone; many kids thrive and are very successful in school.
Quoting Anonymous:Well I see it as; if someone other than a parent is spending 8-10 hours a day with a child they have more influence, they teach them things, they show and teach values and ways of doing things. The child isn't learning these things from the parent. Working mom's spend maybe 2 or 3 hours a day with their child, what are they doing during that time? Cooking dinner, cleaning the kitchen, bathing the child , then bedtime. There is so much that happens during the day time hours that the mom is missing and that she really has no input on.
It's sad that our society has made raising our children not important. We have come to accept that anyone can do this, it doesn't have to be done by the child's own parents.
I do understand mom's who have to work whether married or single. I just feel since they have to work outside the home, the child suffers. That is a sacrifice that sometimes does have to be made. Ideally, the mother would get to raise her own children.
Quoting rayroe2:
There another one running maybe you can explain it better.
Quoting Anonymous:I read some fo the replies, not all. Looks like I"m the only one who agrees with you.
Homeschooling works for some...but not everyone
I think its very biased and ignorant to bash people for not living exactly as you do.
MOST families cannot survive on one income. My husband and I have switched our schedules so that we don't need to use daycare..but that was more of a financial reason....it costs too much to put the kiddo's in daycare.
Putting your kids in daycare does NOT make you a bad parent. Putting them in school doesn't make you a bad parent.
But thinking you're high and mighty and better than everyone DOES make you a bitch!
Do you ever get hit on even looking a mess?
Why inflict this silly cosmetic pain on a baby!?!