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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

help me parent my son!

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 34 Replies
1 mom liked this

idk what to do with him.

when he's at school, some days- he's really good. doesnt need many reminders to listen, do his work, etc.

other days--- like today, i get a report stating that he did 'little to no work' in class... last time it was that- he did NO work- at all. just sat there the entire day.

when he comes home, i make him finish what he didnt do in school, and i give him additional work to do. i take away the tv time, video games and his toys. if it continues, i take it away for a longer period.

he's 7. he can do the work- he's a smart kid. he just doesnt do it. he just sits there, at his desk. even if the teacher takes away his recess time- he just sits there. she gives him extra time to do the work- just sits there.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:47 PM
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Replies (1-10):
raefmom
by Platinum Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:50 PM

Is he bored? My son refused to do the work when he "knew" the answers. Once they started challenging him. Things changed. They would give him special research projects that he got to present to the class. And other challenging but school related stuff. 

Maevelyn
by Gold Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:52 PM

Regardless of how often he doesn't do his school work it has been proven that students need down time in order to processes lessons, moderate their behavior during school hours and for over all mental health. I suggest that he not get tv during the school week (particularly before bed as blue light has been shown to prevent deep sleep and disrupt sleep patterns) and that he be taken right outside to run his little fanny off before he hits the books. Routine in more effective than punishment. Make him do the class work he didn't do during class but present it as the logical consiquence of not working during class. I also suggest if you have time placing a non tv activity after homework time that can be edited out. Story time, art time with you, something fun but somewhat low key that he can do but only if you have time. 

bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:53 PM

you are giving him negative attention for his negative attitude. instead of "since you didn't do this, you lose this priviledge" try "boys who do their homework and classwork get to do fun things like play xbox, so lets see how quickly you can get it done. since you are so smart" and give him a hug.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2013 at 10:53 PM

i dont think so. when he's trying and he does the work, it still only gets like 80% completed since he has to sit there and kinda think about the answer. i figure if he knew the answer, those times, he'd just fly through the problems and get it done completely.

Quoting raefmom:

Is he bored? My son refused to do the work when he "knew" the answers. Once they started challenging him. Things changed. They would give him special research projects that he got to present to the class. And other challenging but school related stuff. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:03 PM

the only reason he has the work to do at home, is because he didnt do it at school... if he got it done there, he wouldnt have to do it at home. does that make sense? lol its not an every day thing.. its more of a 'if you cant focus at school and do what you're supposed to THERE, you're gonna do it here.. me and the teacher are on the same page'.

taking away the tv for the weekdays might work. it kinda depends- i'll have to think about it. on the days that he does his work, listens, etc- he'll get to watch a show that he normally wouldnt be able to watch. example-- like today, if he was good in school, he would've been able to watch Adventure Time and Regular Show.... since he didnt make the right decisions in school, he wasnt able to watch it.

his schedule is basically- he comes home, has a snack and then if he has any work to do- he does it then... he gets home at 4. his friend next door gets home at 5, so he tries to be finished with it all so he's able to go out and play with her. good weathered days- he'll be out there until its dinner time, then go back out to play a little more... then come in, shower, and we read together for a while before its bedtime.... sometimes after dinner, thats when we'll watch tv, then shower- read together, then bedtime.

Quoting Maevelyn:

Regardless of how often he doesn't do his school work it has been proven that students need down time in order to processes lessons, moderate their behavior during school hours and for over all mental health. I suggest that he not get tv during the school week (particularly before bed as blue light has been shown to prevent deep sleep and disrupt sleep patterns) and that he be taken right outside to run his little fanny off before he hits the books. Routine in more effective than punishment. Make him do the class work he didn't do during class but present it as the logical consiquence of not working during class. I also suggest if you have time placing a non tv activity after homework time that can be edited out. Story time, art time with you, something fun but somewhat low key that he can do but only if you have time. 


ARPsMom
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:10 PM
I really felt like I should be writing this. However my son is only 5 and in kindergarten. We took all his privileges away. And on days he gets bad notes home he gets to do nothing fun. I have walked out the house to take my youngest to visit friends leaving my 5yr old with his dad crying his eyes out. It hurts but I feel like he needs to know I'm not joking around about school. And I'm proud to say today was the 3rd good day in a row. We also have a chart on the fridge with 10 boxes for every good day he gets to put a sticker in a box. After they are filled up we have a fun day to do whatever he wants.
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ARPsMom
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:10 PM
I really felt like I should be writing this. However my son is only 5 and in kindergarten. We took all his privileges away. And on days he gets bad notes home he gets to do nothing fun. I have walked out the house to take my youngest to visit friends leaving my 5yr old with his dad crying his eyes out. It hurts but I feel like he needs to know I'm not joking around about school. And I'm proud to say today was the 3rd good day in a row. We also have a chart on the fridge with 10 boxes for every good day he gets to put a sticker in a box. After they are filled up we have a fun day to do whatever he wants.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:18 PM

oh yea- there was a time when he lost EVERYTHING for 3 weeks. tv, games, toys, legos, crayons, paints. only thing he had was his books- and they were more of the ones that he had to read, not the interaction type ones.

he just got it back about a month ago... the first week- things were kinda shakey... then the last two weeks-  he did AMAZING! had only one day (out of 10!) where he had to have only two reminders the entire day to stay on task... (compared to the constant reminders and the teacher basically having to stand over him)... the last two weekends, he got to do a bunch of things he wanted to do-- from staying up super late, going to the movies twice, he went to the lazer tag... magic mountain, and had a friend stay over (which was super exciting for him- it was the first time we had a friend stay here).  (FTR, the last two weekends were pretty special events... his 'big sister' came to pick him up after being away for a while... his aunt came down to visit)

its like what happened?! from the last two weeks to today- what flipped again!?


i HATE when he's on punishment b/c ultimately it means i am too. he's constantly under my butt so i dont even watch tv, just in case he tries to watch it with me (yea- including the news!) i dont get to play with him like we normally do- and i like playing with him! lol

Quoting ARPsMom:

I really felt like I should be writing this. However my son is only 5 and in kindergarten. We took all his privileges away. And on days he gets bad notes home he gets to do nothing fun. I have walked out the house to take my youngest to visit friends leaving my 5yr old with his dad crying his eyes out. It hurts but I feel like he needs to know I'm not joking around about school. And I'm proud to say today was the 3rd good day in a row. We also have a chart on the fridge with 10 boxes for every good day he gets to put a sticker in a box. After they are filled up we have a fun day to do whatever he wants.


spunky946
by Ruby Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:21 PM
Has he been tested?
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:24 PM

tested for what? how would that be done?

Quoting spunky946:

Has he been tested?


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