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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

My husband is a carrier of a genetic condition.

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 38 Replies
1 mom liked this

We have two children.  One healthy, one not healthy.  We found out when the unhealthy child was diagnosed as a newborn that my husband is a carrier of the genetic condition.  There's a 1 in 4 chance any additional children we have would have this same condition.  We had planned on having 3-4 children, but now it would be unethical to have any more.   IVF with preimplantation genetic sorting would be an option but we can't afford it with all the medical bills.  I am so sad I will never have another child.  I'm not ready to be done.  When i look at our family pictures it just feels so... incomplete.  

I don't feel a calling to adoption.  I just don't.  Nothing wrong for it other people, but its just doesn't feel right.  I want to be pregnant again.  I want another baby to sleep on my chest.   want another toddler pattering around the house.  I want my healthy child to have a healthy sibling to go play with in the back yard.  *sigh*  We have known about the diagnosis for a couple of years.  I'll be fine for several months and then something will set off my sadness again.  A friend having a baby.  A baby item in the store that will catch my eye.  Siblings playing together....  I'm in a dark sad period again.  I know it will pass in time and I will feel better for a while.  But when will I accept this and be able to stop feeling this way.  

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:54 PM
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You will most likely have this feeling for the rest of your life. Have you thought of using someone else's sperm? Would you or your husband be comfortable with that.?
happy41ce
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:54 PM

do you mind sharing what this condition is? Maybe you can use this to educate people about it.  Im sorry. =[


audreesmama
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:55 PM
Would you do ivf with a sperm donor?
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MrsDavidB25
by Stacey on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:55 PM
1 mom liked this

 I am sorry. And I think you are doing the responsible thing by not having any more children.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:57 PM



Quoting happy41ce:

do you mind sharing what this condition is? Maybe you can use this to educate people about it.  Im sorry. =[


I would rather not say because it would "out me."  We are one of the few families here on CM dealing with this condition.  

AnnieGoolaheey
by Mrs. Annie Proffitt on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:57 PM

I have a genetic condition, my two kids don't have it.  I didn't know I had it when I had them, I won't be having more children.  This is just one of many reasons.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:57 PM

If you are pro choice, you have options open to you.

MommynMonster
by Silver Member on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:57 PM

Go to the sperm bank

KyrinM
by on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:57 PM
2 moms liked this

You may never fully accept this, but you may learn to live with it.  You could look into possibly adopting a child.  Or you guys could use donor sperm for another child, choose someone who shares a lot of physical traits with DH & no one but you will know the resulting child isn't his biologically.  DH would be father no matter what but you would be able to avoid the genetic issues.  There are ways around this if you two truly wish another child or two.  I wish you love & luck. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 18, 2013 at 11:59 PM



Quoting Anonymous:

You will most likely have this feeling for the rest of your life. Have you thought of using someone else's sperm? Would you or your husband be comfortable with that.?


I'm sure if I asked he woulds say yes even if he really didn't want to.  He knows how sad I am but I also know how guilty he feels.  But I don't want him to say yes just to make me happy.   I keep waiting for him to bring it up as an option but he hasn't.  

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