Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Are fourth graders having sex? *Update* UPDATE#2 HUGE!!!

Posted by   + Show Post

 My son is in 4th grade.. Hes 10.

He came home from school yesterday and just has to tell me about the things this boy in his class told him. Im listening. This CHILD told my CHILD he watches sex online. That he seen a man put his penis in a girl butt, pee, and the pee came out her mouth o.O First, WTF. Second, thats impossibile. He then goes on to tell him other anal videos hes watches, oral and "regular". That its ok if a girl wont let you put it in her butt, you can use her mouth!!!

He told him how he goes to red tube (? never heard of it) and watches this. Says you can even tell girls what to do. He tells them to take their clothes off, and they do it! And, that when Jordan (my son) gets home, he should go right to his room, lock the door, and go check out redtube! WTF!!

He goes even firther to tell him he has had sex before. I dont buy it, but you NEVER KNOW. Maybe he is being molested, and is confused? And, how you can sneak and touch girls boobs. And that once, he touched a much older girls boob and she said she liked it!


My jaw? DOWN TO THE EFFING FLOOR. I am ever so grateful we have raised our child well and he came RIGHT to me, not the computer.

I called the school and the phone just rang. It always does that after 4:00, and Jordan doesnt get home until 4. So, I wrote a letter. For many reasons. One, if his parents are unaware, and I would assume and hope they are, they NEED to know what their child is doing online! And two, what if he has had sexual interaction? What if hes been abused and thinks its something else?

Waiting for the school to call. Im sure they will...

Ok, no they wont. Just happened to see my long letter, laying on the couch. He forgot it. Im calling now. Ill update!


**Just called. The secretary said I need to speak with the assitant principal and she is in a meeting. Took down my info and will have her call me back!


* Vp just called.. As soon as I started talking she gasped. Kept saying oh my.. oh my gosh.. She said she has heard some stuff but never anything liked this. She was pretty shocked. She said she would not speak to and embarrass jordan unless I wanted her to. I told her it was fine, I already prepared him and told him not be be shy- it was important. She said she was going to put his class on alert, and inform all the special area teachers and lunch ladies to keep ears out for the conversations amongst those students. When I told her the boys name she knew him right away. I dont know if thats a good or bad thing. She kept oh my gosh, I cant believe.. Then said she would be taking appropriate action, of course getting in contact with his parents, and that was all. End of convo.

 I know its not my business anymore, but I wish she could update me.

When jordan gets home I will ask him if he was called to the office. If so, Ill update again.


**UPDATE 2!!

The vp called! She said she just wanted to thank me for calling, and no shrugging this off as some boys will be boys thing. She talked to m__ and his answers shed some light on some disturbing things. She said that she didnt need to, and wont be, talking to jordan- the boys own answers were enough and the links and photos all real. She said he has been getting things from an ONLINE stranger and authorities are now involved. She then said thats all she is allowed to say, she and his parents, just wanted to truly thank me!!


im SUPER shocked. NEVER imagined this. Im soooo glad I called. So glad. That poor boy :(

She also told me to thank Jordan for coming to me right away, and to ask him to please not tell any of his classmates.


♥Life's not always about trying to push through the storm, its about learning to dance in the rain!

by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 10:02 AM
Replies (881-890):
by the sauce is boss on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:20 AM


Im sorry.

Quoting chrissy1123:

Wow. My entire body is tingling and my eyes are filling up with tears as I'm sitting here reading this and holding my newborn. I was molested at that age and seeing this has brought back some aweful memories. It's gotten so much easier to take advantage of children then It was when I was 9. It's sickening. And it's not like you can keep your kids from going on the Internet because they need it for school now. My heart goes out to that little boy and his family <3


by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this

You did the right thing!  Glad you took action.  Sounds like your family is well grounded!  Thanks for the updates and good luck!

by Bronze Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:34 AM

think about the boy that is telling your son this . He is doing it to feel bigger and in the know . I know this and you do not . kind of thing . must be bad for him and his home life to feel inferior . must be acting up a lot if she recognized the name of the child . isn't it lovely that your son came to you . good job mom .

by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 10:59 AM
1 mom liked this

 O.M.G i have 2 kids boy 7 and daghter 12 she will be 13 in may i don't know what i will do if i hear something ike that but ur on d the right thing by coming to u. and u di the ight thing bycalling the school my heart ad prays goes out t that little boy.

by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 11:06 AM
1 mom liked this

i am so glad it is turning out as it should. i can't imagine what would have happened if your son had not told you or if you hadn't contacted the school

by Silver Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 12:31 PM
I think by first grade a child knows and understands about not touching peoples private parts, and if not then the parents have failed big time, while i agree he may not understand what it is called, its still what he did, and the principal failed to use it as a learning experience. Which made me want to call the police to give him that learning experience but again I wouldn't call the cops on a first grader lol, but i couldnt believe the principal failed as much as she did
Quoting MicheleJM:

Yes because I feel he didnt understand due to his age..if he was 14 thats different. I think we can agree his behavior is not acceptable.

Quoting mommie2twogirls:

 You very cleazrly said it was not sexual assault it is, again I am not saying call the cops on him, and yes the harrassment bothered me but yes that was verbal and he probaby didn't get it but that is why you teach them and use it as a learning experince and i think he should have been suspended for putting his hands on her, if he had smacked her face instead of her butt he would have been suspended

Quoting MicheleJM:


I agree with you that boys should be taught it is not okay to smack a girl on the ass or say she makes out with every Tom Dick and Harry.  They should be taught to respect her body and her space and vice versa. I am saying the boy did not understand what he was saying.  It doesn't excuse his behavior and the principal did not handle it correctly.  Nor did the grandmother.  In fact she sounds like a peach if you ask me.

Quoting mommie2twogirls:

 Sexual Assault try yes he put his hands on her, in what should be a "private" area, what would you do if a co worker smacked your ass? you would probably have them fired, you cant compare sports players part of the term sexual assault is "unwanted" if it was simply touching hell my boyfriend sexually assaults me all the time i guess. And if a CHILD is going to commit those acts they should be taught about why it is bad, I have told my daughter that no body touches her where a bathing suit covers (with the exception of doctors, with mom or dad present) so when some one does Im just suppose to brush it off? no I will call it what it is period, again NO I would not call the cops on a first graders and me calling it sexual assault has nothing to do with what he was saying that would be sexual harrassment not assault, and when I tried talking to the grandmother who had custody she told me to fuck off he could do what ever he wanted it wasn't my bussiness... When you ignore this behavior or brush it under the rug this is why these kids think it is ok, again this is why we have kids getting raped in the bathrooms of school by other kids, because it will be brushed under the rug and it the person will just have to be friends with me etc etc, I wonder if the boys who committed the Steubenville rape had prior acts brushed under the rug, what gave them the idea it was ok to stick their fingers or anything else in a girls vagina without her consent


Quoting MicheleJM:

Sexually assaulted?  Probably not...probably the boy was saying what he had heard on TV to annoy your dd.  I bet he had no clue what "making out" means.  I used to ask my kids what a term means just to see what they know. My boys didn't know what it meant but they would say it.  Ds12 is very very open...when he was about that age he admitted he really didn't know what the term meant.  I remember ds9, when younger, liked ET by Katy Perry but not as a sex song.  He thought of it as an innocent song and would say some of the lyrics like "lead me into the light" and kiss me" reminded him of me.  He didn't understand the sexual meaning, he thought it meant love. The same with the smack on the butt, maybe he saw his father do that to the mom and thought it was innocent.  I've seen football players swat each other on the butt.  Should have he said these things? No of course not...but again he probably repeated stuff he's heard that's all to get a rise out of the girl.  Blame TV and radio for that.  The only thing I object to is the principal saying they had to be friends.  Of course they don't have to be friends...the principal should have  told the boy we don't smack girls on the butt or simply said we don't hit.  And he should have said we don't spread rumors about girls making out with boys, it is wrong and will hurt their feelings.  That was all that had to be done.


Quoting mommie2twogirls:










by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 12:40 PM
This is shocking! Poor child! I can't imagine how he had access to a computer, unsupervised... Proud of your son for telling you, proud of you for taking action and grateful for the quick intervention.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 12:45 PM
Congrats to you for havin a son that is comfortable enough to come to you and speak freely.That is awesome, you handled the situation right.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 12:51 PM

OMG, this makes my stomach turn, and put tears in my eyes.

I was the same age when a girl from school took me in the bushes at recess and told me a lot of that stuff, and I was horrified and asked my mom about it when I went home.   I feel it is not fair that I had to find out that way, and have been worried about when and how I am going to tell my 10 yr old DD, who I feel is not ready at all to have that talk with yet.  My mom called the school and the other girls mother, apparently, this girls mom was single, and also a sex therapist, and her DD had gotten into her things and the mother had told her all about it, so the girl felt the need to go telling everyone who would listen about this newfound information. Nothing sinister.  But she was then told she needed to keep that info to herself.

I am glad you called the school and they will take care of that.

by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 12:55 PM
1 mom liked this

This is so sad and disturbing.  For both your son and thisother child and whomever else he may have told.  I hink you did the right thing as I would want to know this is it was happening in my home. 

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)