I read this as a comment on another post about informing dad's about their daughter's sexual activity. "The dad is incidental."
I also read on a different site yesterday about a mom who was pissed her bf wasn't marrying her after she had a son with him. They've been together for years and now a little boy together and yet he still doesn't want to get married.
She made the comment, "I'm getting ready to pack up my son and go home to my parents."
"My son"... not "our son".
There was another post on yet even a different forum (I'm a forum junkie) about a woman who was pregnant and trying to decide if she should tell the father of the baby or not because she always thought of the relationship as just a short term one anyway.
And of course there have been plenty of posts all over the place about how it's the woman who calls ALL the shots about what happens when the baby is born and who gets to name the baby...HOW DARE ANY MAN THINKS HE GETS ANY SAY WHATSOEVER IN THIS SINCE HE ISN'T THE ONE GOING THROUGH LABOR. (Obviously the birth of his own child isn't important or anything.)
The attitude is loud and clear, dad's are indeed "incidental"... no real rights in things like being a part of their child's birth, naming their child, being privy to important, life altering information about their child. And if mom decides she wants out of the relationship, screw the idea of "our child"... it's her child.
I hear all the time on forums like these about how some men are such deadbeats and act like little more than sperm donors.
But, aren't we women giving dads the message, loud and clear, that they really are just incidental in their children's lives?