Ds whines about everything. He cries non stop. He's bossy. He wants things his way or no way. He's argumentative. He's blatantly defiant, meaning I tell him firmly "No" and he gives me a "I dare you" look and does whatever anyway. When I do time out, he whines and cries the whole time, and it increasingly intensifies. His behavior gets worse with age, no improvement. I stay consistent. Time outs, are the first course of action. He literally doesn't care about toys. His favorite thing is to hold a toy. Doesn't play with them, just holds them. I take said toy away, he finds another. He's mean to dd. jealous it seems. Doesn't want her doing this or that. She isn't allowed to sit with me, he'll begin a meltdown. She isn't allowed to color, he yells at her and takes her crayons. She isn't allowed to walk down the hall, he'll push her into the wall.
Dd has major attitude. She bites. She hits. She doesn't listen. Redirect is pointless. She stomps during tantrums. She as well doesn't listen. She's just as mean and jealous of her brother as ds is towards her. This isn't behavior she learned from ds, in fact, ds picks most behaviors up from her. Again, time outs with her lead to objects being thrown, walls being hit. Feet flying around. You ask her to do something, it leads to her standing staring at you, letting out one long anger driven scream as she stomps. Again, I remain consistent, I give the warning, the meltdown tantrum begins, she hunts out ds in attempts to turn him into a punching bag, when I have to physically remove her and place her in a time out. With how much she hits and lashes out, spanking is not an option, I don't want to reinforce that behavior.
We have a solid routine. I try to find plenty of activity to keep them motivated, but they've sucked the joy out of these things, with the constant fighting and whining and crying. I sit down to play with them, it turns into a wrestling match of who can get to my lap first. I try to color or do crafts with them, they start throwing or taking crayons, ultimately, I take all crafts and put them up and that "fun" is over. We go to the park, well, we went until I realized my kids were the ones parents were making their little ones avoid. Last time we went, I took them off the playground, and set them both on a bench for time out. Kicking and screaming, the whole time. After 4 minutes, it was still going on, I tried explaining if the behavior continued, we were leaving. But my words went on deaf ears, as the tantrums intensified and I couldn't be heard without having to yell myself, so I loaded them up to go home. Dd starts her kicking and screaming bit while ds drops to the ground like a sack of potatoes. Needless to say, it was quite the embarrassing scene. I wasn't concerned about the looks I got, I was and am concerned about gaining control of my kids. I read posts on here with tips and advice for how to regain control and respect, and nothing works. I'm so ready to call it quits it's depressing. I'm tired of feeling like a total failure of a parent. I'm tired of my kids behaving poorly and everything I try feeling like things get worse. Ds is supposed to start preschool this year, but honestly I'm so concerned about sending him with behaviors like this, I want to withdrawal his application! Yes they socialize and these behaviors are present even amoung other kids, and parents and authority figures. Part of me wants to walk out the door and quit. I never will because they are my kids; but dammit I can't handle anymore! All day long anymore is a chore, it's not fun, there's no good moments, it's all fighting and crying and whining and tantrums and lashing out, never a moments peace. Never a moment of them getting along. Never a moment of them beig respectful. We don't argue in front of the kids, tv is very VERY limited, encouragement was always given, but I can't do it anymore, I can't give encouragement when it's a constant battle. I need help before I have a break down. It's coming soon. I know I'll have the bashing, and I'll ignore it, because I need help. I'm slipping into a state of not caring, feeling down and depressed, something I've never experienced, I need to get control and I need help with my kids.