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dh thinks he and his son should still go on their fishing trip More info UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

After we have already had to cancel our family vacation due to lack of funds. DH's company closed down his store and until they open up the new on in August, he doesn't have any income except unemployment but since he can't get his child support reduced, just about all of his unemployment is going to child support. I still have my job but of course going from two incomes to one has meant we have had to cut a lot of things, including our family vacation. DH has a son from another relationship (all of my kids are with him) and every year, they take a fishing trip together. The trip is over 300 miles away and DH has a boat so to bring the boat and with his truck, that is a few hundred dollars in gas. Plus the other expenses for the trip it is well over $500.

Yesterday, DH mentioned the trip. I assumed after all the cuts we have had to make, the trip would be cut too. No, he thinks they should still go. So our kids get no vacation, we have had to cut quite a bit around the house but he still thinks taking SS on a fishing trip is ok.

Ok,.thanks for letting me vent, I was just so pissed when he brought it up

I told him HELL NO. Just like our family vacation, eating out, cable and all the other cuts we have made, a fishing trip is not a necessity. Basically, I am the only one bringing in income to our household and I am not ok with our household having to give up even more so that they can take a trip.

This question is being asked a lot so I thought I would answer here.

Yes, SS is invited on the family vacation every year. DH gets 2 solid weeks with him in the summer though the court order says that he and SS's mom have to work out together when that will be. Sometimes it happens that we schedule the vacation at the same time SS's mom does because that is the only time me or DH (back when he was working) could get off work. In those cases, he doesn't come but he is always invited

I just found out that not only has DH been sneaking money for this trip, he has also been taking money and taking his son out a couple times a month (when he would pick him up on Friday). He hasn't taken our kids out in months because of the lack of money. My paycheck comes in on Friday and I am opening a new account in my name. I will pay the bills and buy the food but he will have no access to it. In total, he has been taking about $250 a month while the rest of us have made all these cuts and I am working overtime. I haven't told him yet, he will find out on Friday. As far as savings, we each have retirements but we don't have a joint savings account.


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2013 at 4:57 PM
Replies (11-20):
pbjtime87
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:08 PM
Bonding time can wait... Keeping a roof over your head can't.
happinessforyou
by Gold Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:09 PM

When his job picks back up he can go then. Until that time-ALL unnecessary expenses need to be cut-from ALL of the kids, not just some of them. Sorry dad-you're butt would be sitting at home.

jas_momof2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:10 PM
3 moms liked this

I think instead of "hell no", alternatives should have been offered.  He wants to spend time with his son - sorry he's not your son, but flat out denying what they do yearly with attitude isn't going to solve anything. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:11 PM

Can he go to a close by lake and fish from land? 

othermom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:11 PM

I agree that the trip should be canceld.It is a bummer but bills and things come first

AllofFive19
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:13 PM

I agree with finding a close-by lake and fishing on land. 

Have you guys thought of a stay-cation for this year? Stay at home, but plan fun activities together?

vwd_johnson
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:14 PM
How often does he see his son? Do they live near eachother?

I agree all major expenses need to be cut, but if he doesn't see his son often I think maybe he should find a muuch cheaper alternative to some bonding time together. He has a lot of free time now to spend with him doing other things.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:15 PM

He can spend time with him at home, that is his alternative. If we, as a family, can't take a vacation when I am the one making the money, there is no way in Hell they are going to take a trip, sorry, it's not going to happen. We yearly take a family vacation but that was cut. IMO the fishing trip should be cut BEFORE the family vacation because the whole family can go on the vacation, only the two of them go on the trip



Quoting jas_momof2:

I think instead of "hell no", alternatives should have been offered.  He wants to spend time with his son - sorry he's not your son, but flat out denying what they do yearly with attitude isn't going to solve anything. 



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:16 PM

His son lives an hour away, he can stay at home with him and bond like the rest of us are doing



Quoting vwd_johnson:

How often does he see his son? Do they live near eachother?

I agree all major expenses need to be cut, but if he doesn't see his son often I think maybe he should find a muuch cheaper alternative to some bonding time together. He has a lot of free time now to spend with him doing other things.



bustybee
by Buzz Lightyear on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:17 PM

so what happened when you told him no?

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