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dh thinks he and his son should still go on their fishing trip More info UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

After we have already had to cancel our family vacation due to lack of funds. DH's company closed down his store and until they open up the new on in August, he doesn't have any income except unemployment but since he can't get his child support reduced, just about all of his unemployment is going to child support. I still have my job but of course going from two incomes to one has meant we have had to cut a lot of things, including our family vacation. DH has a son from another relationship (all of my kids are with him) and every year, they take a fishing trip together. The trip is over 300 miles away and DH has a boat so to bring the boat and with his truck, that is a few hundred dollars in gas. Plus the other expenses for the trip it is well over $500.

Yesterday, DH mentioned the trip. I assumed after all the cuts we have had to make, the trip would be cut too. No, he thinks they should still go. So our kids get no vacation, we have had to cut quite a bit around the house but he still thinks taking SS on a fishing trip is ok.

Ok,.thanks for letting me vent, I was just so pissed when he brought it up

I told him HELL NO. Just like our family vacation, eating out, cable and all the other cuts we have made, a fishing trip is not a necessity. Basically, I am the only one bringing in income to our household and I am not ok with our household having to give up even more so that they can take a trip.

This question is being asked a lot so I thought I would answer here.

Yes, SS is invited on the family vacation every year. DH gets 2 solid weeks with him in the summer though the court order says that he and SS's mom have to work out together when that will be. Sometimes it happens that we schedule the vacation at the same time SS's mom does because that is the only time me or DH (back when he was working) could get off work. In those cases, he doesn't come but he is always invited

I just found out that not only has DH been sneaking money for this trip, he has also been taking money and taking his son out a couple times a month (when he would pick him up on Friday). He hasn't taken our kids out in months because of the lack of money. My paycheck comes in on Friday and I am opening a new account in my name. I will pay the bills and buy the food but he will have no access to it. In total, he has been taking about $250 a month while the rest of us have made all these cuts and I am working overtime. I haven't told him yet, he will find out on Friday. As far as savings, we each have retirements but we don't have a joint savings account.


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2013 at 4:57 PM
Replies (21-30):
vwd_johnson
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:18 PM
I agree. Take the time off if you get paid vaca. Do a firepit outback, pop a tent, roast some marshmellows and hotdogs. Game night, movie night, flashlight tag, etc..

Quoting AllofFive19:

I agree with finding a close-by lake and fishing on land. 

Have you guys thought of a stay-cation for this year? Stay at home, but plan fun activities together?

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:20 PM

We are going to do stuff like that. But now that I know that he has been saving money (well money I made, so really hiding money from me) for this trip, we have about $500 to do something fun all together



Quoting vwd_johnson:

I agree. Take the time off if you get paid vaca. Do a firepit outback, pop a tent, roast some marshmellows and hotdogs. Game night, movie night, flashlight tag, etc..

Quoting AllofFive19:

I agree with finding a close-by lake and fishing on land. 

Have you guys thought of a stay-cation for this year? Stay at home, but plan fun activities together?



vwd_johnson
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:22 PM
6 moms liked this
They are a family too. Geez, we can certainly tell how you feel about your SS.

You are being very hateful in your responses. The kids you have together are no more family to him than his son is. Relax.

Yes, both vaca's should be cut, but don't act so high and mighty like your family is sooooo much more important than the bond he should have with his other son.


Quoting Anonymous:

He can spend time with him at home, that is his alternative. If we, as a family, can't take a vacation when I am the one making the money, there is no way in Hell they are going to take a trip, sorry, it's not going to happen. We yearly take a family vacation but that was cut. IMO the fishing trip should be cut BEFORE the family vacation because the whole family can go on the vacation, only the two of them go on the trip




Quoting jas_momof2:

I think instead of "hell no", alternatives should have been offered.  He wants to spend time with his son - sorry he's not your son, but flat out denying what they do yearly with attitude isn't going to solve anything. 




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jas_momof2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:24 PM
1 mom liked this

Which includes his other son, right?

Quoting Anonymous:

We are going to do stuff like that. But now that I know that he has been saving money (well money I made, so really hiding money from me) for this trip, we have about $500 to do something fun all together



Quoting vwd_johnson:

I agree. Take the time off if you get paid vaca. Do a firepit outback, pop a tent, roast some marshmellows and hotdogs. Game night, movie night, flashlight tag, etc..

Quoting AllofFive19:

I agree with finding a close-by lake and fishing on land. 

Have you guys thought of a stay-cation for this year? Stay at home, but plan fun activities together?





Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:24 PM

I would have no issue with him going on such a trip, so long as the birth mom was paying for it.  He can't pay for it.

vwd_johnson
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:50 PM
I hope you plan on inviting your SS.

Quoting Anonymous:

We are going to do stuff like that. But now that I know that he has been saving money (well money I made, so really hiding money from me) for this trip, we have about $500 to do something fun all together




Quoting vwd_johnson:

I agree. Take the time off if you get paid vaca. Do a firepit outback, pop a tent, roast some marshmellows and hotdogs. Game night, movie night, flashlight tag, etc..



Quoting AllofFive19:

I agree with finding a close-by lake and fishing on land. 

Have you guys thought of a stay-cation for this year? Stay at home, but plan fun activities together?




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Rebecca7708
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:54 PM
Does your step son usually go on the family trip as well?

Quoting Anonymous:

He can spend time with him at home, that is his alternative. If we, as a family, can't take a vacation when I am the one making the money, there is no way in Hell they are going to take a trip, sorry, it's not going to happen. We yearly take a family vacation but that was cut. IMO the fishing trip should be cut BEFORE the family vacation because the whole family can go on the vacation, only the two of them go on the trip




Quoting jas_momof2:

I think instead of "hell no", alternatives should have been offered.  He wants to spend time with his son - sorry he's not your son, but flat out denying what they do yearly with attitude isn't going to solve anything. 




Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:56 PM

Since you had to cut out your"family vacation" then the fishing trip should be cut out also

Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:57 PM

THIS.


Quoting Anonymous:

The way I see it, he gets to stay at home now until August, he can use that time to spend with his son



Anonymous
by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:57 PM
5 moms liked this
If this is the only real time he gets to spend with his son, I would make it happen. Your children live with him and get their dad every day.
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