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dh thinks he and his son should still go on their fishing trip More info UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

After we have already had to cancel our family vacation due to lack of funds. DH's company closed down his store and until they open up the new on in August, he doesn't have any income except unemployment but since he can't get his child support reduced, just about all of his unemployment is going to child support. I still have my job but of course going from two incomes to one has meant we have had to cut a lot of things, including our family vacation. DH has a son from another relationship (all of my kids are with him) and every year, they take a fishing trip together. The trip is over 300 miles away and DH has a boat so to bring the boat and with his truck, that is a few hundred dollars in gas. Plus the other expenses for the trip it is well over $500.

Yesterday, DH mentioned the trip. I assumed after all the cuts we have had to make, the trip would be cut too. No, he thinks they should still go. So our kids get no vacation, we have had to cut quite a bit around the house but he still thinks taking SS on a fishing trip is ok.

Ok,.thanks for letting me vent, I was just so pissed when he brought it up

I told him HELL NO. Just like our family vacation, eating out, cable and all the other cuts we have made, a fishing trip is not a necessity. Basically, I am the only one bringing in income to our household and I am not ok with our household having to give up even more so that they can take a trip.

This question is being asked a lot so I thought I would answer here.

Yes, SS is invited on the family vacation every year. DH gets 2 solid weeks with him in the summer though the court order says that he and SS's mom have to work out together when that will be. Sometimes it happens that we schedule the vacation at the same time SS's mom does because that is the only time me or DH (back when he was working) could get off work. In those cases, he doesn't come but he is always invited

I just found out that not only has DH been sneaking money for this trip, he has also been taking money and taking his son out a couple times a month (when he would pick him up on Friday). He hasn't taken our kids out in months because of the lack of money. My paycheck comes in on Friday and I am opening a new account in my name. I will pay the bills and buy the food but he will have no access to it. In total, he has been taking about $250 a month while the rest of us have made all these cuts and I am working overtime. I haven't told him yet, he will find out on Friday. As far as savings, we each have retirements but we don't have a joint savings account.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2013 at 4:57 PM
Replies (261-269):
by Platinum Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:29 PM
Are things better?
by Anonymous 36 on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:43 PM

Maybe he feels his son reall y need him,as he grows older. Your have their dad with them at all times,you said your ss has been invited to go on vacation with you,my question to you,out of all the years you guys been together,your ss never been on vacation with yal as a family? Yes,I don't think this is about money,I think You don't want your dh to have this time with his son. I applaud your dh for being a real man,and seeing the needs of his son.

by Give Thanks on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:50 PM
1 mom liked this

Its not the dad wanting to spend extra time with his son that has her upset it is that he STOLE basically HER INCOME when his unemployment already goes to child support and that because of HIS temporary job loss HER KIDS have to do without and when she said she wouldn't finance their trip he TOOK THE MONEY ANYWAY and HAS BEEN TAKING MONEY ALL ALONG WHICH IS WRONG ANY WAY YOU LOOK AT IT!!

by Ruby Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:54 PM

That is just wrong to take one child and not the others.

by Platinum Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 10:05 PM
2 moms liked this

I would be so pissed!   Now that he won't have access to to the 'extra' money he has been stashing, you can use it to take your kids someplace fun.

I get that he probably feels he doesn't have as much time with his older son, but it is sad that he feels the need to do more for him when he hasn't had to experience any lifestyle changes due to his Dad's job loss.

by Anonymous 37 on Mar. 23, 2013 at 11:18 PM

The oldest son has not suffered any loss due to his Father's lack of income, unlike his siblings.     He has another home, another family.    He will still enjoy a family vacation with his Mom.   His Mom still receives the same amount of child support, so he hasn't been expected to do without anything.

People assume that children with divorced parents don't have the same advantages and priveldges as children living with both parents.      That is not always the case.

Kids with divorced parents and two separate families often have the best of both worlds.   They celebrate two Christmases with twice the gifts!   Two birthdays,  more vacations.     

Blending a family is a balancing act.     I grew in up in one as well as raised my kids in one.     It is just as hard for kids from 'the second marriage'.  

by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 11:21 PM
I'd be furious. Its not right to take away from the kids to favor one child.
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by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 11:29 PM
I agree with you it's not fair. Sorry but your husband needs to get over it one year of missing the trip won't kill them. Tell him to get another job if he wants to do something like that
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by Anonymous 20 on Mar. 24, 2013 at 4:10 AM
Why can't all of you take this fishing trip together? He gets to see his son and you all get your family vacation.
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