Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

dh thinks he and his son should still go on their fishing trip More info UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

After we have already had to cancel our family vacation due to lack of funds. DH's company closed down his store and until they open up the new on in August, he doesn't have any income except unemployment but since he can't get his child support reduced, just about all of his unemployment is going to child support. I still have my job but of course going from two incomes to one has meant we have had to cut a lot of things, including our family vacation. DH has a son from another relationship (all of my kids are with him) and every year, they take a fishing trip together. The trip is over 300 miles away and DH has a boat so to bring the boat and with his truck, that is a few hundred dollars in gas. Plus the other expenses for the trip it is well over $500.

Yesterday, DH mentioned the trip. I assumed after all the cuts we have had to make, the trip would be cut too. No, he thinks they should still go. So our kids get no vacation, we have had to cut quite a bit around the house but he still thinks taking SS on a fishing trip is ok.

Ok,.thanks for letting me vent, I was just so pissed when he brought it up

I told him HELL NO. Just like our family vacation, eating out, cable and all the other cuts we have made, a fishing trip is not a necessity. Basically, I am the only one bringing in income to our household and I am not ok with our household having to give up even more so that they can take a trip.

This question is being asked a lot so I thought I would answer here.

Yes, SS is invited on the family vacation every year. DH gets 2 solid weeks with him in the summer though the court order says that he and SS's mom have to work out together when that will be. Sometimes it happens that we schedule the vacation at the same time SS's mom does because that is the only time me or DH (back when he was working) could get off work. In those cases, he doesn't come but he is always invited

I just found out that not only has DH been sneaking money for this trip, he has also been taking money and taking his son out a couple times a month (when he would pick him up on Friday). He hasn't taken our kids out in months because of the lack of money. My paycheck comes in on Friday and I am opening a new account in my name. I will pay the bills and buy the food but he will have no access to it. In total, he has been taking about $250 a month while the rest of us have made all these cuts and I am working overtime. I haven't told him yet, he will find out on Friday. As far as savings, we each have retirements but we don't have a joint savings account.


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2013 at 4:57 PM
Replies (31-40):
littlesippycup
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 5:58 PM

I completely get where you're coming from but I still feel bad for his son. 

EmilysMom2010
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:10 PM
I agree with you 100%
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:16 PM
He was hiding money for it o.O wtf
jas_momof2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:41 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh please...  He was saving for it.  No different than what any SAHM does with change from groceries or whatever...

Quoting Anonymous:

He was hiding money for it o.O wtf



Anonymous
by Anonymous 6 on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:44 PM
Really sahms hide money from their husbands? That's news to me

Quoting jas_momof2:

Oh please...  He was saving for it.  No different than what any SAHM does with change from groceries or whatever...

Quoting Anonymous:

He was hiding money for it o.O wtf


poietes
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:44 PM
Could you turn this into a family camping trip? Just an idea, we all love camping and love going together. But if you cant afford to go at all then you cant afford it.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
GhettoKoolAide
by Lighthouse Blues on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:45 PM
Men are morons and he's only thinking of himself.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
poietes
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:48 PM
Pretty sure she is saying the whole family including ss. Why should only two go when they all (including ss) can go?

Quoting vwd_johnson:

They are a family too. Geez, we can certainly tell how you feel about your SS.



You are being very hateful in your responses. The kids you have together are no more family to him than his son is. Relax.



Yes, both vaca's should be cut, but don't act so high and mighty like your family is sooooo much more important than the bond he should have with his other son.




Quoting Anonymous:

He can spend time with him at home, that is his alternative. If we, as a family, can't take a vacation when I am the one making the money, there is no way in Hell they are going to take a trip, sorry, it's not going to happen. We yearly take a family vacation but that was cut. IMO the fishing trip should be cut BEFORE the family vacation because the whole family can go on the vacation, only the two of them go on the trip





Quoting jas_momof2:

I think instead of "hell no", alternatives should have been offered.  He wants to spend time with his son - sorry he's not your son, but flat out denying what they do yearly with attitude isn't going to solve anything. 





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
bear.katten
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:50 PM
Its your money right now so its not like he can make you give it to him! I'd say hell no too! Thats just outrageous! Tell him to go fishing with SS around your town! They dont need to go 300 miles!!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:53 PM


If he wants bonding time. He and his son can camp in the back yard. Or as family outing for all of you including the ss why don't you all go camping at a state park? He can still go fishing.

he could also take his boat to a local river and go fishing.

Quoting Anonymous:

He got mad and said this was their "bonding time". What about our kids? He doesn't need to take a trip with them or me. I told him if we can find $500, I am taking it and planning a trip for the family



Quoting MrsDavidB25:

 What did he say when you told him hell no?





Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN