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dh thinks he and his son should still go on their fishing trip More info UPDATE

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

After we have already had to cancel our family vacation due to lack of funds. DH's company closed down his store and until they open up the new on in August, he doesn't have any income except unemployment but since he can't get his child support reduced, just about all of his unemployment is going to child support. I still have my job but of course going from two incomes to one has meant we have had to cut a lot of things, including our family vacation. DH has a son from another relationship (all of my kids are with him) and every year, they take a fishing trip together. The trip is over 300 miles away and DH has a boat so to bring the boat and with his truck, that is a few hundred dollars in gas. Plus the other expenses for the trip it is well over $500.

Yesterday, DH mentioned the trip. I assumed after all the cuts we have had to make, the trip would be cut too. No, he thinks they should still go. So our kids get no vacation, we have had to cut quite a bit around the house but he still thinks taking SS on a fishing trip is ok.

Ok,.thanks for letting me vent, I was just so pissed when he brought it up

I told him HELL NO. Just like our family vacation, eating out, cable and all the other cuts we have made, a fishing trip is not a necessity. Basically, I am the only one bringing in income to our household and I am not ok with our household having to give up even more so that they can take a trip.

This question is being asked a lot so I thought I would answer here.

Yes, SS is invited on the family vacation every year. DH gets 2 solid weeks with him in the summer though the court order says that he and SS's mom have to work out together when that will be. Sometimes it happens that we schedule the vacation at the same time SS's mom does because that is the only time me or DH (back when he was working) could get off work. In those cases, he doesn't come but he is always invited

I just found out that not only has DH been sneaking money for this trip, he has also been taking money and taking his son out a couple times a month (when he would pick him up on Friday). He hasn't taken our kids out in months because of the lack of money. My paycheck comes in on Friday and I am opening a new account in my name. I will pay the bills and buy the food but he will have no access to it. In total, he has been taking about $250 a month while the rest of us have made all these cuts and I am working overtime. I haven't told him yet, he will find out on Friday. As far as savings, we each have retirements but we don't have a joint savings account.


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2013 at 4:57 PM
Replies (41-50):
3kids2mutts
by on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:53 PM
1 mom liked this
Sounds to me like you have a complex about his kid from another woman. Tell him to take a fishing trip but locally.
Melissa_4
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:56 PM
1 mom liked this

Tell him to take his son camping at a local state park.  Usually it's only about $15-$40 a night plus supplies, so they can camp for a long weekend for less than $150 including groceries!

Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:02 PM
1 mom liked this

If my dh was dumb enough to think he would still be going on an expensive trip, even though he sees all the cuts you guys are making, you bet your ass I would tell him hell NO. Suck it up princess, no fishing trip for you!

vwd_johnson
by Ruby Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:18 PM
2 moms liked this
By the way she keeps saying if "we" can't go on a family vaca then those two can't either make it sound like SS doesn't go.

Also kind of interesting that a couple have mentioned if SS is invited and she hasn't answered. Maybe she's busy or working. But I'm interested in hearing her answer.


Quoting poietes:

Pretty sure she is saying the whole family including ss. Why should only two go when they all (including ss) can go?



Quoting vwd_johnson:

They are a family too. Geez, we can certainly tell how you feel about your SS.







You are being very hateful in your responses. The kids you have together are no more family to him than his son is. Relax.







Yes, both vaca's should be cut, but don't act so high and mighty like your family is sooooo much more important than the bond he should have with his other son.






Quoting Anonymous:

He can spend time with him at home, that is his alternative. If we, as a family, can't take a vacation when I am the one making the money, there is no way in Hell they are going to take a trip, sorry, it's not going to happen. We yearly take a family vacation but that was cut. IMO the fishing trip should be cut BEFORE the family vacation because the whole family can go on the vacation, only the two of them go on the trip







Quoting jas_momof2:

I think instead of "hell no", alternatives should have been offered.  He wants to spend time with his son - sorry he's not your son, but flat out denying what they do yearly with attitude isn't going to solve anything. 







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jas_momof2
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:18 PM

You must not have been here very long then...  It's been quite the hot topic several times...

Quoting Anonymous:

Really sahms hide money from their husbands? That's news to me

Quoting jas_momof2:

Oh please...  He was saving for it.  No different than what any SAHM does with change from groceries or whatever...

Quoting Anonymous:

He was hiding money for it o.O wtf




JamesMom714
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:25 PM
4 moms liked this
I may be in the minority here, but a fishing trip with dad is important. I went with my dad and they are some of my fondest memories with him. He passed away 9 years ago and I'd give anything for another fishing trip with my dad.

Sometimes money has to be out on the back burner.
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poietes
by Platinum Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:25 PM
1 mom liked this
Hmm, I guess I just assume people arent pieces of shit until they give me a reson too but thats just me. If she hasnt answered any questions I just assume shes off line for a while. I save my nasty comments until people prove they deserve it. Obviously that is not the majority in this group.

Quoting vwd_johnson:

By the way she keeps saying if "we" can't go on a family vaca then those two can't either make it sound like SS doesn't go.


Also kind of interesting that a couple have mentioned if SS is invited and she hasn't answered. Maybe she's busy or working. But I'm interested in hearing her answer.




Quoting poietes:

Pretty sure she is saying the whole family including ss. Why should only two go when they all (including ss) can go?





Quoting vwd_johnson:

They are a family too. Geez, we can certainly tell how you feel about your SS.









You are being very hateful in your responses. The kids you have together are no more family to him than his son is. Relax.









Yes, both vaca's should be cut, but don't act so high and mighty like your family is sooooo much more important than the bond he should have with his other son.








Quoting Anonymous:

He can spend time with him at home, that is his alternative. If we, as a family, can't take a vacation when I am the one making the money, there is no way in Hell they are going to take a trip, sorry, it's not going to happen. We yearly take a family vacation but that was cut. IMO the fishing trip should be cut BEFORE the family vacation because the whole family can go on the vacation, only the two of them go on the trip








Quoting jas_momof2:

I think instead of "hell no", alternatives should have been offered.  He wants to spend time with his son - sorry he's not your son, but flat out denying what they do yearly with attitude isn't going to solve anything. 








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kelly617
by Gold Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:29 PM

Absolutely not!!
There are NO vacations until he has a job..is he insane??

My3LuVs83
by Silver Member on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:36 PM
I can see how its something special to them. But if there is no $$ for it he has to find another way to bond. I agree with you.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Mar. 19, 2013 at 7:51 PM
So let me get this straight. YOUR working, HE'S not. He gets unemployment but it all goes to SS child support. So he is bring no income in until August. You've all tightened your belts, canceled luxuries, but he thinks he should take$500 to go on a vvacation for himself? Umm, not just no hell fing no. Sorry that trips about him not SS. IF it was about SS, he'd find something reasonable in the family budget for just SS and him to do. That's completely not cool that hes hiding money when things are tight. I was a SAHM and id never dream of putting money aside without dh knowing especially if things were tight.
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