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Dh threw 9 yr old dd in cold shower*EDIT*

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
My dh threw my 9 year old daughter fully dressed in the shower, with cold water. We argued, he stormed out. He says I'm over reacting but if she's crying and telling him to stop, I dont see how.

I've been reading the replies, let me clarify. 
* dd was doing hw when she said she was tired, he thought it to be funny to put her in a cold shower for a few seconds.  He was not disciplining nor was she misbehaving. 
* she was crying and telling him to stop
* If she was having fun I wouldn't have intervened but clearly she wasn't 
* I tried TALKING to him after, he got upset, it escalated into an argument, he left, came home at 1 am
* I did not say to him "I hate you".  I said it here
* I did not put him out
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 19, 2013 at 6:13 PM
Replies (531-540):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 20, 2013 at 5:49 PM

so had she laughed you'd still be on your "that's abuse" bullshit? what I did to my son "abuse"? lmao have your kids ever played with hoses? water balloons? squirt guns?...well maybe not squirt guns.. that would be attempted murder/more abusive than the rest probably...


Quoting graybealgirl:

When u put a child in the shower as a *joke * that's just cruel


Quoting Anonymous:

Hurting?? water melts flesh? doubt it. them arguing in front of her probably hurt her more than a stupid joke. "U" should talk to someone who's been through TRUE abuse. I stuck DS in the bath fully clothed earlier and ya know what he did? he laughed his happy, tiny little ass off and splashed me. He's so abused that he giggles his head off huh? wait till he's older and he can swim! we're going to have a ton of fun with the pool :)

But hey if you want me in jail, living off of YOUR tax dollars for condoning a joke.. well.. don't bitch when taxes go up and I'm better fed than you with a roof over head :)



Quoting graybealgirl:

You make me sick letting a grown man hurting a poor little child! U and him should be in jail





Quoting Anonymous:

o please. tell that to a child who gets beat every night when he/she comes home. that shits not abuse. not a great way to rough house with a kid that can't take it, but not abuse. people like you are the ones who clog up CPS with bullshit claims.




Quoting graybealgirl:

Sorry pure child abuse. That's just cruel













Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 20, 2013 at 6:29 PM

 Don't give yourself to much credit, you didn't offend me.

Actually you made me laugh at how immature you are. Hate to bust your bubble but you aren't worth it.


Quoting luvmymunchkins3:

Quoting Anonymous:

 Yup & the immaturity continues in MC.

I guess for you it is ok for a parent to pin a child down & not let them go.  Good for you, I enjoy wrestling w/my children & so does my husband but we never take it to far.

Sad that you are ok w/it going to far.

FYI: I never said the OP didn't over react or that the father was horrible. But yes if someone says stop it should stop, if someone says no it should stop.  But are we only teaching our children that no means no for only certain people, that parents don't have to listen & stop?

 

Quoting luvmymunchkins3:

Quoting Anonymous:

 The only problem I have is if she was seriously freaking out & he wasn't listening.  A parent should listen if they are doing something that is really upsetting their child.

My dad didn't listen to me ever, he'd pin me down & tickle me & I could NOT get away, it scared the shit out of me.  That is not appropriate. Or was I just being a drama queen as well?

So if this father wasnt' listening & she got scared he does need to apologize for that, it is not a feeling a child should ever have.

Goofing off should be fun, but if it is something someone doesn't like they shouldn't be told "oh you're just a drama queen."  Not a way to keep or build trust.

 

Quoting Aamy:

My dh tickles and fools around with the kids all the time. My son loves it and laughs, dd she will say stop stop stop and when dh does, she wants more. Sure a cold shower is a shock but its not harmful. I wouls laugh and then scold dh and tell him he gets to help clean up hehe.

Quoting luvmymunchkins3:

This is what i am thinking she must have learned how to be a drama queen from her mother

Quoting Anonymous:

Ahhh your child was being a big baby. Why did you even need to talk to him? He fooled around big deal.



Quoting Anonymous:

My dh threw my 9 year old daughter fully dressed in the shower, with cold water. We argued, he stormed out. He says I'm over reacting but if she's crying and telling him to stop, I dont see how.





I've been reading the replies, let me clarify. 


* dd was doing hw when she said she was tired, he thought it to be funny to put her in a cold shower for a few seconds.  He was not disciplining nor was she misbehaving. 


* she was crying and telling him to stop


* If she was having fun I wouldn't have intervened but clearly she wasn't 


* I tried TALKING to him after, he got upset, it escalated into an argument, he left, came home at 1 am


* I did not say to him "I hate you".  I said it here


* I did not put him out


 

 


 

 



 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 20, 2013 at 6:34 PM

i do that to my 6 yr old when hes totaly missbehaving.  cold shower always seems to work. but to hold a kid under there thinking its "fun" when shesd crying and saying stop? hm.... doesnt seem like fun to me! How are you guys now? and im sorry i don't know all of these dd dh and lo and things what do they mean?

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 20, 2013 at 6:40 PM
When I was a teen, I used to babysit my cousins. Their dad used to toss them in a cold shower as punishment and told me to use it if I needed to.

I never used it or threatened to use it, and the kids were never naughty for me. Their parents were shocked when they asked me how I disciplined the kids when they were naughty, I would reply that that I would take privileges away, make them sit in a chair, stand in the corner, etc.
luvmymunchkins3
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 7:26 PM

Quoting Anonymous:

 Don't give yourself to much credit, you didn't offend me.

Actually you made me laugh at how immature you are. Hate to bust your bubble but you aren't worth it.


Quoting luvmymunchkins3:

Quoting Anonymous:

 Yup & the immaturity continues in MC.

I guess for you it is ok for a parent to pin a child down & not let them go.  Good for you, I enjoy wrestling w/my children & so does my husband but we never take it to far.

Sad that you are ok w/it going to far.

FYI: I never said the OP didn't over react or that the father was horrible. But yes if someone says stop it should stop, if someone says no it should stop.  But are we only teaching our children that no means no for only certain people, that parents don't have to listen & stop?


Quoting luvmymunchkins3:

Quoting Anonymous:

 The only problem I have is if she was seriously freaking out & he wasn't listening.  A parent should listen if they are doing something that is really upsetting their child.

My dad didn't listen to me ever, he'd pin me down & tickle me & I could NOT get away, it scared the shit out of me.  That is not appropriate. Or was I just being a drama queen as well?

So if this father wasnt' listening & she got scared he does need to apologize for that, it is not a feeling a child should ever have.

Goofing off should be fun, but if it is something someone doesn't like they shouldn't be told "oh you're just a drama queen."  Not a way to keep or build trust.


Quoting Aamy:

My dh tickles and fools around with the kids all the time. My son loves it and laughs, dd she will say stop stop stop and when dh does, she wants more. Sure a cold shower is a shock but its not harmful. I wouls laugh and then scold dh and tell him he gets to help clean up hehe.

Quoting luvmymunchkins3:

This is what i am thinking she must have learned how to be a drama queen from her mother

Quoting Anonymous:

Ahhh your child was being a big baby. Why did you even need to talk to him? He fooled around big deal.



Quoting Anonymous:

My dh threw my 9 year old daughter fully dressed in the shower, with cold water. We argued, he stormed out. He says I'm over reacting but if she's crying and telling him to stop, I dont see how.





I've been reading the replies, let me clarify. 


* dd was doing hw when she said she was tired, he thought it to be funny to put her in a cold shower for a few seconds.  He was not disciplining nor was she misbehaving. 


* she was crying and telling him to stop


* If she was having fun I wouldn't have intervened but clearly she wasn't 


* I tried TALKING to him after, he got upset, it escalated into an argument, he left, came home at 1 am


* I did not say to him "I hate you".  I said it here


* I did not put him out











Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 20, 2013 at 8:14 PM

My "snowflake" is NONEOF YOUR BUSINESS.  My panties are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Why dont you go exude some more of your intelligence on google looking up more booger nosed sobbing children.   If you think its cool to torture kids, thats fine.  I dont.  I hope for you the same that I hoped for the freak of a father who gets his rocks off torturing his own kid.   Dont freaking bother to respond because I will NOT give you anymore of my time. 

 

Quoting luvmymunchkins3:

I thought it was pretty obvious guess i should spell it out for you.you all are a bunch of crybabies your little snowflake is not made of sugar they won't melt over some water.and getting your panties in a bunch because your husband tickles your kid that you want to hit him you need to get help

Quoting Anonymous:

 Your Point Is?????

Quoting luvmymunchkins3:

Quoting Anonymous:

 Ugh :( Im so sorry this happened to you.  I have a phobia about being tickled and have NO patience for it what so ever.   My husband tried tickling my daughter one time and I could not handle it.  I instantly got so defensive I was ready to knock him out as soon as she said to stop and he wouldnt.  He has NEVER done it again. 

Tickling or forcing your kid into a cold shower when they are screaming and crying for you to stop is a form of abuse because your bigger and can do it.  I firmly believe that whoever does this should endure the same only worse. If your two kids were doing this one would be grounded and the other consoled.  So why is it okay for an adult to do this to his own kid?  Its not :(

Quoting donnag013:

My stepfather did this to me, and now I am not ticklish. I consider it torture. You can tickle to a certain point, but then if you are holding them down and continuing after being told to stop, it is abusive. Just cause someone is laughing doesn't make it funny. Now I have lost the ability to be tickled, and this impacts (although minorly) my intimate relationships.

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 An adult  who tickles a kid until they cry is freaking gross.  They have control issues and I think that anyone who does this should have it done to them daily until "they get it."  It is most certainly a form of abuse.  If an adult continues to do this knowing that they will make a child cry has issues.   

Quoting Anonymous:

Anyone who thinks that is abuse has never been abused.  He was playing around.  So she cried and told him to stop.  My DH would tickle the kids or wrestle aroudn with them playing and at some point they would cry and say to stop.  Still not abuse.  It wasn't done with intend to harm.

 

 

 

 


 


 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 20, 2013 at 8:39 PM

 

 Anon Don't even waste your time or energy on trying to explain the basics to this women.  Anyone with a half a brain knows that this mans behavior was inappropriate.  This women whos life work is geared towards trying to be snide and cute on a internet website really isnt impressing me one bit.  I truly feel sorry for you honey. 

Dont quit your day job "lovemymunchkins3".  As comic relief you suck. 

 If you opt to have your children tortured then so be it. I feel for your children.  As you have read many of us have no desire or need to make our children cry on purpose.  Some people should stick with imaginary friends and leave real children to adults with empathy and compassion.

 Remember your kids will pick your nursing home.  Trust me, I worked in geriatrics for YEARS.  Your children will remember who protected them and who  wasted time looking up sobbing children on google.  I'd start looking for elder care insurance.  Your gonna need it when your kids opt to kick your ass to the curb.   Also why dontcha Check into child care classes momma.  Most YMCA's offer them for free. 

Quoting Anonymous:

 Her point is that she is very immature.

I know how Donna feels.  My dad would tickle me & would even get mad if I got upset & would pin me down to the point that I could not get away.

As I got older it escalated; but that is a different story.

Many ppl like munchkin thought I was ridiculous.  I said no, I said stop, I cried bc I couldn't get away, bc I couldn't breathe & eventually the tickling hurt. 

Even now (especially since the "tickling" escalated) when my DH & I goof off, he tickles me & wrestles he knows to watch bc sometimes I will have flash backs & just freak.  I decked him once, don't even remember doing it, yes I've gotten help (before anyone freaks on me).

Mine may have been more severe & I'm not saying this father is awful or trying to hurt his child, but parents need to understand that they can take things to far & harm their children, the trust their children have for them.

It is not ok to pin someone down & not let them go.  Odd that if it was a man pinning down a woman & not letting her go people on here would be FREAKING out calling the man every name in the book. 

But if a father holds a child down & doesn't let the child go it is ok.

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 Your Point Is?????

Quoting luvmymunchkins3:

Quoting Anonymous:

 Ugh :( Im so sorry this happened to you.  I have a phobia about being tickled and have NO patience for it what so ever.   My husband tried tickling my daughter one time and I could not handle it.  I instantly got so defensive I was ready to knock him out as soon as she said to stop and he wouldnt.  He has NEVER done it again. 

Tickling or forcing your kid into a cold shower when they are screaming and crying for you to stop is a form of abuse because your bigger and can do it.  I firmly believe that whoever does this should endure the same only worse. If your two kids were doing this one would be grounded and the other consoled.  So why is it okay for an adult to do this to his own kid?  Its not :(

Quoting donnag013:

My stepfather did this to me, and now I am not ticklish. I consider it torture. You can tickle to a certain point, but then if you are holding them down and continuing after being told to stop, it is abusive. Just cause someone is laughing doesn't make it funny. Now I have lost the ability to be tickled, and this impacts (although minorly) my intimate relationships.

 

Quoting Anonymous:

 An adult  who tickles a kid until they cry is freaking gross.  They have control issues and I think that anyone who does this should have it done to them daily until "they get it."  It is most certainly a form of abuse.  If an adult continues to do this knowing that they will make a child cry has issues.   

Quoting Anonymous:

Anyone who thinks that is abuse has never been abused.  He was playing around.  So she cried and told him to stop.  My DH would tickle the kids or wrestle aroudn with them playing and at some point they would cry and say to stop.  Still not abuse.  It wasn't done with intend to harm.

 

 

 

 


 

 

 

 

luvmymunchkins3
by on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:03 PM

Quoting Anonymous:

My "snowflake" is NONEOF YOUR BUSINESS.  My panties are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Why dont you go exude some more of your intelligence on google looking up more booger nosed sobbing children.   If you think its cool to torture kids, thats fine.  I dont.  I hope for you the same that I hoped for the freak of a father who gets his rocks off torturing his own kid.   Dont freaking bother to respond because I will NOT give you anymore of my time. 


Quoting luvmymunchkins3:

I thought it was pretty obvious guess i should spell it out for you.you all are a bunch of crybabies your little snowflake is not made of sugar they won't melt over some water.and getting your panties in a bunch because your husband tickles your kid that you want to hit him you need to get help

Quoting Anonymous:

 Your Point Is?????

Quoting luvmymunchkins3:

Quoting Anonymous:

 Ugh :( Im so sorry this happened to you.  I have a phobia about being tickled and have NO patience for it what so ever.   My husband tried tickling my daughter one time and I could not handle it.  I instantly got so defensive I was ready to knock him out as soon as she said to stop and he wouldnt.  He has NEVER done it again. 

Tickling or forcing your kid into a cold shower when they are screaming and crying for you to stop is a form of abuse because your bigger and can do it.  I firmly believe that whoever does this should endure the same only worse. If your two kids were doing this one would be grounded and the other consoled.  So why is it okay for an adult to do this to his own kid?  Its not :(

Quoting donnag013:

My stepfather did this to me, and now I am not ticklish. I consider it torture. You can tickle to a certain point, but then if you are holding them down and continuing after being told to stop, it is abusive. Just cause someone is laughing doesn't make it funny. Now I have lost the ability to be tickled, and this impacts (although minorly) my intimate relationships.


Quoting Anonymous:

 An adult  who tickles a kid until they cry is freaking gross.  They have control issues and I think that anyone who does this should have it done to them daily until "they get it."  It is most certainly a form of abuse.  If an adult continues to do this knowing that they will make a child cry has issues.   

Quoting Anonymous:

Anyone who thinks that is abuse has never been abused.  He was playing around.  So she cried and told him to stop.  My DH would tickle the kids or wrestle aroudn with them playing and at some point they would cry and say to stop.  Still not abuse.  It wasn't done with intend to harm.

 



 


 


 


LilliesValley
by Ruby Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:05 PM
I don't get where that would be funny but that's me.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Raz_Mum
by Member on Mar. 20, 2013 at 9:16 PM

He probably thought he'd wake her up.. :)

But seriously needs to learn when a joke is not recieved well and especially a GIRL says NO, he needs to stop!! Lots of Men have trouble understanding that when they are mucking around thier kids might not see it the same way!!

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