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Monogamy. A rarity.

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post
I was adopted from birth by a family who has been old fashioned & has good morals. I was raised to have manners and morals. I saw faithfulness in not only my parents, but my siblings as well. I was adopted at such an age where my siblings where 14yrs older than me and up. "cheating" was a term I only knew was used in school. "cheating on the test" or "cheating at playing a game". Needless to say, I was raised monogamous.

I've known cheaters. I've dated cheaters. and honestly I cannot understand it. I cannot even imagine laying with another man than my DH or SO (ever!) the thought of it was enough to make me vomit when a friend even suggested I cheat on my cheating SO years ago. I'm loyal to the end.

My point of this post, how do you justify cheating? Why do people cheat and how can they without a second thought? I don't understand it...

my DH admires me for my true loyalty. and is glad he doesn't have to worry with me. I love him and trust him as well, but also due to my past, I (still) fear him cheating on me. even though he has never once given me reason to think such of him.

DH is currently in jail and may be there for 1yr or less.
would you cheat? why?

a friend once told me if her SO or DH went to jail or prison, damn right she'd cheat. her excuse was "its not my fault he's there, why deprive myself of my needs"

would you feel the same?

I'd like to be clear, I'm not thinking about cheating on DH. EVER. I just want to understand others opinions on this subject.

have you ever cheated? why?
ever thought of cheating? why?

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 21, 2013 at 2:36 AM
Replies (11-20):
NonaScheib38
by Gold Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:42 AM

To cheat on someone you have to have no respect for them or the relationship itself. You have to be selfish and think that you deserve more than one person's affections. You have to be spiteful and self loathing to do it as a revenge tactic, because cheating to hurt the person you're with is the lowest form of self degradation. You have to be lazy to rather cheat than just go through the trouble of ending a relationship. You have to be the most basic form of animal to cheat in order to provide for your own sexual needs, justifying it by suggesting that only one person can't fulfill your appetite. 

Basically, you have to be the type of person who blames other people for your actions. 

I don't think it's an issue of love, because I know people who don't love the person they're with and still wouldn't consider cheating. 

Jamie1972
by Ruby Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:44 AM

the only time i cheated was on my high school sweetheart. i was 18, young & dumb. he worked 3 jobs, when he wasn't at a job he worked  on his car or hung out  with his friends. i was a low priority. at one point i was with my bff  so much i thought we were dating. she was  a  nice girl,just not my type lol. anyway i met and hooked up with an old friend.  he said all tge things   i wanted and needed too hear. biggest mistake and regret of   my life. if i had only talked to bf about how lonely i was things may have been different with us.

EmilysMom2010
by Ruby Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:46 AM
Are you really married? If not I wouldn't wait for him. I wouldn't cheat. I just wouldn't wait.
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valeriesmom1112
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:46 AM
l dont understand it really at all but especially in long term relationships and marriage. To me marriage is a religious thing not just a piece of paper. I am not married yet and im not really a very religious person however when i take those vows in a church, i fully expect him and I to stay faithful to them. i cocouldn't even imagine being with another man. I had a guy ask me out at work and i felt so dirty because he is married and knows im in a relationship.
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wulfeyes05
by Ruby Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:48 AM

Never cheated, never would. There is no point to it, no justification that makes it okay ever. I watched what it did to my mother. 

KennyPooPoo22
by Platinum Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:49 AM

No, I have never cheated, never thought about cheating either. I am 100% loyal to any partner I have ever had. Honestly it's too much trouble to cheat. SO feels the same way. We are both happy with only each other.

shortycmlb
by Gold Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:50 AM

I thought about it 3 times throughout our entire relationship, only once after we were married and all three were under extreme stress (really low points in our past). But I never have. Never will. 

SadeAyosmom
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 3:53 AM

we have been together 10 yrs and so far i have been 100 % Faithful. i cannot see myself cheating on him.

ever.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 21, 2013 at 4:03 AM
yes. I know.. when he was first arrested it was a shock! but all the details and accusations, times and dates don't add up!! even the actual accusation the woman can't keep her story straight!


Quoting shamillionaire:

Weird...



Quoting Anonymous:

long story short, an ex was jealous he got married & moved on so she accused him of something serious yet impossible. being 500 miles away, 30 days after the supposed "incident" occurred. and reported it 7 months after the supposed incident too. None of it makes sense. he didn't do anything wrong. he left her because she broke up with him & moved back to his home state. met me, married me & moved on.









Quoting KristenFowles:

I do not understand cheating.







Why is your DH in jail?







If my DH ever did something so irresponsible to end up in jail than he absolutely shattered my trust. I do not know if I could move passed that. Luckily he is law abiding and responsible.


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 21, 2013 at 4:08 AM
Trying to make a long story short. My husband stop showing me any affection. He played video games all the time. He spent his days at work on the phone with another female co worker, just to name a few issues. There were many. I was too weak, lazy, scared, or whatever to end my marriage. Instead I decided since he was probably cheating, not willing to work on our marriage or be intimate with me then I would have affair. Well not exactly like that. I found out about AM on CM. Remember those crazy post about husbands being on there ? Well I decided to see what it was as in what is every one talking about not the lets see who's on it for me type of deal. So I signed up. Looked around and signed out. I guess boredom and loneliness took me back. I had chats with other men. Never considered cheating. I actually just enjoyed talking to other men that is until I met "him". It would have taken a very special someone to convince me to have an affair. It happened and I regret it every day of my life. I should have ended my marriage vs cheating. My husband found out about AM so he went and fucked around like a child instead of asking me about the profile. We were both very wrong. We've both paid for our mistakes. I've been severely emotionally traumatized by it all. I'm finally going to see Therapist about it before it kills me. It eats at me that much. Never ever cheat. Never a good reason. It's vile. If you both cant work on your marriage, file for divorce.
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