Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

ok, a little backstory: so DH and I share a house with my mother. We pay half the rent and buy ALL the food. (except eating out, she pays that, which isnt often) so its not like we're mooching off her, just sharing a house because its cheaper. she in no way supports us, we support ourselves.

this is the part i dont find fair: i do ALL the cleaning. ALL of it. DH is supposed to take out the trash, which he rarely does until the damn thing is overflowing with rubbish and i have to ASK him to do it.. and my mother and DH are supposed to trade off doing the dishes. thats it, thats all i ask for help with. i do the laundry, the sweeping, the mopping, the vacuuming, the picking up, the dusting, the organizing, the scrubbing, the grocery shopping, the dog walking, the cooking..everything! now with ALL that i do, neither DH or my mother will empty the dishwasher. they expect me to do it. which i dont, because..well..i do everything else already and c'mon, your ONE JOB is the dishes and you cant unload? so of course, the shit gets backed up by like 3 loads of dishes, just sittin out on my counters! my mother is constantly saying "i cant do the dishes until you unload them." and usually says that as im scrubbing out the fridge or mopping. are you fn kidding me? you CANT do the dishes? until *I* unload the clean ones? you want me to drop what im doing to come unload the dishes while you are just standing there? seriously? recently, she lost her job, so she's been at home ALL the time. her excuse when she was working was "im tired, ive been working all day. i cant unload and reload the dishes. i'll only do one." but now, she literally does NOTHING all day long. NOTHING AT ALL!! just sits in her recliner on her iphone.. and i still get "i've been waiting 2 days for you to unload the dishes so i can reload them." as im picking up the aftermath of my "kid tornado"..  as for DH he works full time, i understand he's a little tired. but i work FULL time too, im with two kids (almost 3) ALL DAY (and night) LONG! i hate that i have to TELL him to do some damn dishes! he should come home, relax for a bit, SEE the dishes overflowing out of the sink and the trash can overflowing with rubbish and just DO it!


i guess my question is, do you think its fair that the ONE FN THING i ask for help with, apparently cannot be done unless *I* unload the dishwasher?!


*EDIT*

this is not HER house. in order for it to be HER house, she would: A. have to own it or B. only have her name on the lease, have all bills in her name and pay all the rent.

my name is on the lease, i pay half the rent, all bills are in my name. 

if anything, this house is more mine than it is hers. to be fair tho, this is OUR HOUSE.

by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 4:30 AM
Replies (21-30):
MommyLo
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 5:32 AM

facepalm yourself, anon annie. what are you not understanding? she is our roommate. its just like any other roommate situation. i just happen to be related to her. 

Quoting Anonymous:

*Facepalms*

Quoting MommyLo:

seriously? it clearly says in my OP that i pay half the rent! how could that make you come to the conclusion that its her house?! did you not read past the "live with my mother"?

Quoting Anonymous:

then i think you need to re-word your OP, because you said that you live with your mother.

most people are going to interpret that the same way I did.   I understand now, but I am still going to stand by at least the second half of that statement - you guys need to get your OWN place, not a shared one with your mother. 

Quoting MommyLo:

oh no no no. my name is on the lease and i pay half the rent, it is OUR house. if SHE paid ALL the rent and only HER NAME was on the lease, i'd agree with you. but no. my name on the lease. i pay half the rent. the utilities are all in my name. this is more my house than hers.

Quoting Anonymous:

your living in HER house.  sorry mama but if you are that sick of it, find your own damn house.








anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 5:32 AM
She's paying rent right? Could you afford a home on your own? Without her?

If not. Then you are depending on her to support (in the form over a roof over your head) your family.


Quoting MommyLo:

honey did you read the post? we do not depend on her for shit.
we pay our half of the rent. our names are on the lease. we pay the bills that are all in my name. we provide all the food in the house..
im confused. what part of that is depending on my mother? what part of that is her supporting us?
 

Quoting anyotherday:

Life's not fair. Get your own place and stop depending on mommy to help support your family that you created.


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mommytoeandb
by Platinum Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 5:33 AM

Living with other people can be such a hassle!  She probably is hoping you'll just get fed up and do it yourself.  I think your choices are to either stop living together, start doing the dishes yourself, or add the expense of having someone to clean to her bills to acccomodate her lack of cleaning. 

MommyLo
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 5:36 AM

she's paying HER half of the rent. 
yes we can afford to live on our own, with out her.

she's saving about $100 and so are we by us sharing a big house instead of her living in a 1 bedroom somewhere and us in a 3 bedroom somewhere. 

we THOUGHT it'd be a good idea. she started out by saying she could help with taking care of the kids and such, but she doesnt help with anything. im beginning to believe it was her original plan just to save a little money and use me as a live in maid. 

Quoting anyotherday:

She's paying rent right? Could you afford a home on your own? Without her?

If not. Then you are depending on her to support (in the form over a roof over your head) your family.


Quoting MommyLo:

honey did you read the post? we do not depend on her for shit.
we pay our half of the rent. our names are on the lease. we pay the bills that are all in my name. we provide all the food in the house..
im confused. what part of that is depending on my mother? what part of that is her supporting us?
 

Quoting anyotherday:

Life's not fair. Get your own place and stop depending on mommy to help support your family that you created.



MommyLo
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 5:37 AM

she is definitely hoping that! and it works apparently, because its now 4:30 am and im still awake finishing up the dishes.

Quoting mommytoeandb:

Living with other people can be such a hassle!  She probably is hoping you'll just get fed up and do it yourself.  I think your choices are to either stop living together, start doing the dishes yourself, or add the expense of having someone to clean to her bills to acccomodate her lack of cleaning. 


anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 5:38 AM
Then start looking for a new place.

Quoting MommyLo:

she's paying HER half of the rent. 
yes we can afford to live on our own, with out her.

she's saving about $100 and so are we by us sharing a big house instead of her living in a 1 bedroom somewhere and us in a 3 bedroom somewhere. 

we THOUGHT it'd be a good idea. she started out by saying she could help with taking care of the kids and such, but she doesnt help with anything. im beginning to believe it was her original plan just to save a little money and use me as a live in maid. 

Quoting anyotherday:

She's paying rent right? Could you afford a home on your own? Without her?



If not. Then you are depending on her to support (in the form over a roof over your head) your family.




Quoting MommyLo:

honey did you read the post? we do not depend on her for shit.
we pay our half of the rent. our names are on the lease. we pay the bills that are all in my name. we provide all the food in the house..
im confused. what part of that is depending on my mother? what part of that is her supporting us?
 

Quoting anyotherday:

Life's not fair. Get your own place and stop depending on mommy to help support your family that you created.



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
lizzieiguana
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 5:40 AM

flylady.com hope you can find some peace!

MommyLo
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 5:41 AM
2 moms liked this

i LOVE that site!!!! 

Quoting lizzieiguana:

flylady.com hope you can find some peace!


anyotherday
by Ruby Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 5:42 AM
Now that's just cutting off your nose to spite your face. Unloading and loading a dishwasher takes all of ten minutes if you rinse the dishes as you load, less if they are presoaked. There is plenty of time in the busiest schedule to make time without staying up til 430... I could handwassh every dish in my house in less time than that.

Quoting MommyLo:

she is definitely hoping that! and it works apparently, because its now 4:30 am and im still awake finishing up the dishes.

Quoting mommytoeandb:

Living with other people can be such a hassle!  She probably is hoping you'll just get fed up and do it yourself.  I think your choices are to either stop living together, start doing the dishes yourself, or add the expense of having someone to clean to her bills to acccomodate her lack of cleaning. 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
hnischke
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 5:45 AM
I thought the same thing. Except in my house I get stuck with a lot of the house work including dishes ( we don't have room for a dishwasher), I work almost full time, and when I'm home the kids are my responsibility. My husband is home with them while I'm at work and I feel the need to give him a break once I get through the door.


Quoting Anonymous:

To me unloading the dishwasher is part of doing dishes. Speak up and tell them that this is bothering you or else it will never change. Tell them they better be glad they don't have to wash them all by hand!!

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)