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Youre not a mom if you had a m/c - Edit #2

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Soo, I came across this in another post and Im actually hoping the person who said it will come here because I have a question.. (and for those who also feel that way)





Since you think that does that mean if you give birth to a child and something terrible was to happen and your child passed away, are you still not a mother?





I had a m/c and I personally still consitered myself a mother. I carried that precious child inside me for 5 months and I had my tiger stripes to prove it. Everyone has their own opinion though.. I just had that question.



Edit:

Thank you all. Its was almost 3 years ago that I had a m/c so it really just hit a sore spot when someone said that. I do understand why some people may feel that way though..

To answer the question:

"Are you still a mother if you have an abortion"

I would say yes, because you were pregnant. Reguardless of your choices you would still have a child today if things had happen differently. Thats just my opinion though.

Edit #2:
I would like to thank everyone again for all the responces. I am very sorry to all of you who have went through m/c and/or stillbirth. That pain stays with you forever. Just remember your precious angels are always with you, just not the way you would like for them to be. I wish I had the time to reply to ALL of you but I dont, so if any of you had questions that I missed then feel free to ask again. Thank you again :)
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by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:23 AM
Replies (21-30):
just_hc
by Gold Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:35 AM
10 moms liked this

Technically speaking, I guess giving birth would make you a mother.  So no, I would not consider having a MC beging a mother.  You don't say "I'm a Mom" when you get pregnant.  You say "I'm going to be a Mom" or "Mother-to-be".

But to me being a mother is much more than giving birth.  It's caring for and raising a child.  Some women who gave birth don't necessarily qualify in my eyes.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 7 on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:35 AM
1 mom liked this
This one is iffy for me. But I've never experienced the loss of a child so I don't know how I'd feel. I say if someone wants to consider themselves a mother, that's their business and I wouldn't fault them for feeling that way
hotmama83227
by Silver Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:35 AM

So then you were a mother. 

JNLmomme09
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:35 AM


Serously Anon your going to turn this into an abortion post?

Quoting ErikaRobin:


Quoting Anonymous:

How does that work if you had an abortion? The mother of a dead baby.

Yes, pretty much. 

You're the mother of a baby that might have been, if the circumstances had been different.

You are biologically a mother.



Matriarch87
by Ruby Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:35 AM
5 moms liked this
I don't think a person is a mother until they have been motherly to the child outside of the womb.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 8 on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:35 AM

I dont know honestly, maybe it completely depends on the womans perspective. We hear all the time "making a baby doesnt make you a mother/father- loving them is what makes you a parent". If a woman miscarried and considers herself a mother, then she shouldnt give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks

Rosebud27aj
by Amanda on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:36 AM

I had a miscarriage, and I'm not really sure how I feel about it. 

Rae706
by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:36 AM

I'm not at all trying to be insensitive. I had a MC scare less than a month ago, I know that doesn't compare to actually having one, I can't even imagine how painful that would be! With that said, when I think of a mother, I think of someone with children. Even if someone gave birth and raised their child to 18, then they pass away from a car accident or something, I would know that she use to be a mother, but I wouldn't think of her presently as a mother. 

I hope that makes sense, and again, in no way am I trying to be hurtful or condescending!

ErikaRobin
by Platinum Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:37 AM


Quoting JNLmomme09:


Serously Anon your going to turn this into an abortion post?

Quoting ErikaRobin:


Quoting Anonymous:

How does that work if you had an abortion? The mother of a dead baby.

Yes, pretty much. 

You're the mother of a baby that might have been, if the circumstances had been different.

You are biologically a mother.



Got to quote anon for her to see that.  It always has to go there, donchaknow? 

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Anonymous
by Anonymous 9 on Mar. 21, 2013 at 10:37 AM
13 moms liked this

My opinion: No you were not a mother, you were pregnant.

A mother is a person who raises a child, not necessarily gives birth but actually raises the child. A woman who adopts is a mother despite not giving birth to the child. The woman who gave the child up for adoption is not a mother just because she gave birth. So no, you're not a mother if you miscarried because you didn't raise the child after birth even if it was for only a day. You were pregnant and would have been a mother if you did not miscarry.

Quoting cRystienah:


Since you think that does that mean if you give birth to a child and something terrible was to happen and your child passed away, are you still not a mother?

I had a m/c and I personally still consitered myself a mother. I carried that precious child inside me for 5 months and I had my tiger stripes to prove it. Everyone has their own opinion though.. I just had that question.



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