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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

10 years ago my DH cheated and had a child

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

With another woman. At the time we had a 2 year old and I was pregnant with our twins. I had not finished college yet, I put that on hold when I got pregnant with the twins. When he came to me and told me, he truly was sorry and even though I hated him for it, I considered my options. I was about to have 3 kids under 3, I had at least 2 more years to finish college and I did still love him.

The woman was 12 weeks pregnant when I found out (DH had cut things off with her around the time she got pregnant and didn't speak to her again till she called him and told him she was pregnant the day he told me phone records confirmed this.)

I told DH that I was not going to deal with his bastard, it would never be welcome in my home or around me or my children. If he was to pay child support, he would have to get a second job to do that because the money for his mistake wouldn't be coming out of our family's budget. I told him those were the conditions and if he would accept them, we could work it out and stay together. He agreed. He, with me there, called her and told her that if she wants child support, she can go to court for it but he is not leaving his family for her (as she wanted him to do) and his 3 children with me have to come first. She told him that she would never contact him again and hasn't.

Very few people know about it, only my sister and my best friend. For all we know, she may have had an abortion. I know that some people will think I was wrong for basically taking a father from a child but the way I see it, its mother did that when she chose to have sex and get pregnant by a married man. The other option was to turn my children's world upside down and I was not willing to do that if I could help it.

That's my confession, exactly 5 people know about it (my sister, my best friend, DH, me and the whore). Our children don't know and will never know, we have a good relationship now and have 4 children and one more on the way. BTW I finished college.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 21, 2013 at 4:35 PM
Replies (301-310):
AubreeGrace17
by Platinum Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:06 PM
This whole situation is so sad :(
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3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:07 PM
The most heartless and selfish people are the ones who created this fuckery and they most definitely suck at life for the shitty decisions they made and unnecessary drama they created.

Quoting Anonymous:

There are some heartless and selfish people in this world. A few are right here. You suck at life. You'll get yours in due time. I hope it hurts.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 35 on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:09 PM
Yep. And those who deny this child his/her father. You fuck, you can create a baby. Be responsible for it.


Quoting 3xangel:

The most heartless and selfish people are the ones who created this fuckery and they most definitely suck at life for the shitty decisions they made and unnecessary drama they created.



Quoting Anonymous:

There are some heartless and selfish people in this world. A few are right here. You suck at life. You'll get yours in due time. I hope it hurts.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 60 on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:09 PM
1 mom liked this

I am missing how it is the OP's fault the OW didnt fight for her kids right to visitation/child support/etc.. the blame for this kid, that may or may not even exist, not seeing his biological father, at the point lies solely with the biological mother. she could have fought for child support. that was her choice not to contact him again. She was sleeping with a married man, and it really shouldn't have come as a shock that he wasnt going to leave his family. he told her he would pay child support, she just had to file the paperwork. everything was in the OW's court. not this familie's...

MeaganP
by Gold Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:09 PM
What happend when child knocks on door. It will happen some day
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Anonymous
by Anonymous 35 on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:10 PM
You idiotic fool. Hes fucking some bitch right now. You deserve him.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 35 on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:11 PM
It isn't her fault. She just strongly encouraged it and used it as an ultimatum. Also she calls the child it and the bastard. She sucks at life.


Quoting Anonymous:

I am missing how it is the OP's fault the OW didnt fight for her kids right to visitation/child support/etc.. the blame for this kid, that may or may not even exist, not seeing his biological father, at the point lies solely with the biological mother. she could have fought for child support. that was her choice not to contact him again. She was sleeping with a married man, and it really shouldn't have come as a shock that he wasnt going to leave his family. he told her he would pay child support, she just had to file the paperwork. everything was in the OW's court. not this familie's...


3xangel
by *Angelicious* on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:12 PM
1 mom liked this
Smdh. No sir, you will not excuse the other woman from her responsibility and part she played in making her child fatherless.

She knew this man was unavailable, she knew he lacked character, and she knew he didn't want to step up to the plate YET she allowed this loser to impregnate her. Like I said, she is 50/50 to blame for her child being fatherless.



Quoting MojoRising:

The child's mom didn't make the child fatherless. The father did. Duh. Sure she has some blame, but what's done is done. Man the fuck up and take care of your responsibilities.








Quoting 3xangel:

How about you stop trying to play captain save-a-ho and pay attention to what was said. Op's husband isn't getting a pass from me hence the cheating loser comment made about him. Didn't know it was needed to break down cheating= being a ho.









Since the 1950s wants its pass back, how about you pour some of the blame on the child's mom for knowingly making her child fatherless.









None of the adults are innocent in this.








Quoting MojoRising:

What about the child's ho of a dad? Amazing how he is the most guilty and gets a free pass. 1950 called. They want their rules back.














Quoting 3xangel:

She shouldn't, especially since the other child's parents didn't give a damn about bringing it into this messed up situation.















The father knew he was dead wrong for having unprotected sex outside of his marriage and the ow knew the douchebag she was cheating with was unavailable and had no intentions of stepping up to the plate.















I'm pretty sure the OP sleeps well at night and the child's ho of a mom and married cheating loser of a dad are the ones who "ruined" the child's life.





































Quoting renijazzysmom:

Her children come first to her. Why should she care about someone else's kid.





































Quoting Anonymous:

Wow, I can understand being angry about the situation. But you are a selfish bitch. Children. Come. First. I don't care who the parents are, they come first always! Congrats on possibly ruining a childs life. I don't know how you sleep at night!




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lovemyfriend
by Bronze Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:12 PM

I lost all respect for you at bastard child. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 42 on Mar. 21, 2013 at 9:12 PM
1 mom liked this

yes his children with his wife are more important cuz he make a commitment and responsibility to them. not the child with the OW. the responsibility of that child falls on the OW. she knowingly had sex with a taken man, knowing he had prior responsibilities and obligations to his wife and child. she chose to take that risk, so everything about that child falls on her. and yes its an innocent child. but if it ever wonders and asks about its father, it should look at its mother. she helped create a child knowing it would be fatherless. I mean did she really expect this guy to leave his wife and kids for her and her child? how many men actually do that? yes he is just as responsible and fucked up. but really I place more of the responsibility of the child on her cuz she had to know what would happen if she got pregnant. she had to of known her and her kid would be on their own. sorry but his wife and their child were there first and they take priority over this other child.


Quoting MojoRising:

Wait. What? These children are more important because? They are all INNOCENT CHILDREN. ALL of them. No child is worth more than any other child.


Quoting Anonymous:

he could have. but honestly his obligations are to his wife and their children. sorry but wife and kids are way more important then this other child. if it were my husband and he insisted on being a father to that child, I would divorce him. I agree with the OP. I would only stay with my husband if he had nothing to do with the child other then pay child support. that child would not be welcome in me and my children's lives. if he choose to be a father to that child, we would be gone. the OW should have realized that he would and could never really be a father to her child when he is a married man. his wife and child should always come first. not the OW and her child.



Quoting motherslove82:

He could have fought for his rights and been a father to his child.



Quoting Anonymous:

the husband did. he offered to pay her child support. the OW choose not to accept it. if the OW doesn't want it, then there only so much he can do.




Quoting motherslove82:

You're right, the OW and HER HUSBAND are responsible for that child. Guess which one is not living up to HIS responsibility.





Quoting Anonymous:

still not her problem. her husband and the OW are responsible for creating a child knowing that it would very likely be fatherless. they are the ones responsible for that poor innocent child. not the wife. she owes that child nothing.





Quoting MojoRising:

Let's see.... it's her children's sibling. It's an innocent child. A child who can very likely come back in their lives in the future. And it's an innocent child. Innocent child.











Quoting Anonymous:

why should she care? she didn't create the child. she has no obligation to that child one way or another. that child has nothing to do with her. the OW should have thought about the possibility of her child not having a father when she choose to mess around with a married man. this is the OW's problem to worry about and care about.






Quoting MojoRising:

Who cares what happens to the kid? Trash. This place is full of trash.














Quoting Anonymous:

I think the whore got what she deserved. she fucked around with a married man and got burned. Who gives a shit what happened to her or the kid. She got caught up in the affair like a dumbass. op, you kept your family together. That's what's important. Your dh is a lying shit bag but a lot of men cheat. Sorry but they do. To me, you did the right thing.






























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