Here is why. Easter lunch has always been a thing my family has done since we were all little. Now all the kids are grown up and we take turns having it at each other's homes. This is my year. After church we all go to that person's home, do Easter egg hunts with the kids, have lunch and visit. As I have planned it, it will be me, dh our 2 kids, my mom, dad, my brother, his wife, their 3 kids and my sister and her fiance. So there will be 13 of us.
DH told his mom we were doing something at our home because she asked if we wanted to go out to lunch and now he said he thinks her feelings are hurt that we didn't invite them so he wants to invite her. The problem is, when we invite DH's parents, even if we tell them it's just them who are invited, DH's grown sister and her boyfriend at the time , aunt, uncle and cousins all come too. I don't want to cook for another 10 people and set out enough eggs for 4 more kids. I am the one cooking all the food, I am the one stuffing and hiding the eggs while DH never does anything to help with this stuff (I am a SAHM so I don't complain but I don't think it should be pushed into nearly doubling the party size).
I reminded DH how we always go to his family's things on Christmas Eve, I don't insist on inviting my family, my mom doesn't try to guilt me into inviting them. I just don't see why we have to include them in everything yet it is all fine and good to do stuff (like of Christmas Eve) without my family