Theory: If you let him try it, he may want more, So DON'T let him try it. Edit
- 88 Replies
- The option of spending one of his entire days off to do what he wants- minus you (and/or family).
- A sexual position you find demeaning or don't like
- Going out for drinks every Friday after work.
- An open relationship, a threesome, or a poly relationship.
My df is NOT experienced when it comes to sex. I told my DF he may not enter my "backdoor" because I don't like it. I don't want him to know how it feels,prefer it or ask me to do it again. I rather leave him wondering than knowing and wishing he can do it with me again or someone else.
Some say a big part of loving someone is knowing s/he has options but prefers your choices without being FORCED to. But I don't want him to like that position if I know I don't. I don't want it on the list of things I have to sacrifice. Am I being fair?
Why would you let your s/o or Dh know how it feels to do something he may like, that you DON'T, just so he can wish he had that option.
My dh was way more sexually experienced than me when we started dating. It took a while but eventually, I let him do things that I never thought I would. He's been in my "back door" and after a few times, it actually isnt that bad. Once in a while, he gets to venture there again. Now that I am his wife, he is allowed to do just about whatever he wants to me, although, we did pretty much everything before we got married. I will tell you this, do NOT bring another person into your bedroom. It will damage your relationship, possibly beyond repair. I love my dh to see him having sex with another woman.
My way of viewing these things isn't the same as everyone else. I am much more adventurous now that when I was before I met my dh. I enjoy his hand around my neck, him pulling my hair, I enjoy when he pins me down and has his way with me, and I enjoy taking control also. Its all about personal preference.
As far as the other items, if my dh wants to spend a day doing something by himself without his family, I would let him without hesitation, because he would do the same for me. If he wanted to go out for drinks, I wouldn't oppose, he would let me also. But my dh and I rarely drink, so if he did start doing that, I would know something was up.
He knows he can't have something all the time, but would it bother you to hear your dh complaining to someone how he wishes he had this and that again? Lets say you want to stop doing something and he doesn't. This back door situation or him going out EVERY Friday is something I don't want him wishing for once he doesn't have it anymore.
Quoting Anonymous:
I gather that me and my husband talk more than a lot of other couples. I can tell him we're trying something once and we may not do it again. We try things together and go from there. Some things we're not willing to try. We usually agree on what those things are. I wouldn't deny him something just me cause I don't want him to think he can have it all the time. That's a dumb reason. I'll tell him he can or can't have it all the time. If I'm willing every so often then that's how it is. Too easy
I understand where you're coming from but don't understand the idea of not "letting" him. Shouldn't these be discussions and mutual decisions? Something along the lines of "I think x is demeaning and would feel like you don't respect me" or "I think x would cause irreparable harm to our relationship." You're not giving DH enough credit thinking he'd act on desires and disregard your feelings.
But how am I making him happy if he experiences how it feels and then knows he can't have it again. It will hurt my feelings because I'm not going to give home something we are perfectly fine without, he can live without the back door situation, I don't want him secretly fantasizing and loathing me for not giving him something he likes. I rather he doesn't know.
Quoting CutieCrab:
I understand where your coming from, but you let him try/ do those things once in awhile because you love him and wanna make him happy.
They are trying to ban buying soda from FS
Do you REGRET having kids