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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

"I'm a self-entitled teen w/ no respect for authority..."

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:36 AM
Jen
  • 48 Replies

 Worried about their 13-year-old daughter's increasingly disrespectful behavior, Gentry and Renee Nickell of Crestview, Florida, decided to make her punishment humiliating and public. On Saturday, the teen (whose name has not been released) spent 90 minutes standing at a busy intersection with a hand-written sign describing her sins.

It read: "I’m a self-entitled teenager w/no respect for authority. I’m also super smart, yet I have 3 'D’s' because I DON’T CARE."

Also on Shine: Is Parental Shame the New Spanking?

Passing motorists saw the teen, who was standing with her dad at the corner of Ferdon Boulevard and U.S. Highway 90 in Crestview, and snapped pictures of her with their cell phones. Some of the photos ended up on Facebook, where they were shared within the Crestview community (the Nickells said that they have not seen those photos; Yahoo! Shine was not able to find them online). Someone called the police, who showed up to talk to the teen and left after deciding that she was "aware of her punishment and she was not in any harm," Crestview police records show.

Also on Shine: To Punish Daughter, Dad Destroys Her Laptop -- On Video

Now, however, the parents are feeling a little public humiliation of their own.

“I wasn’t even thinking about what the public was going to think,” her mom, Renee Nickell told the Northwest Florida Daily News. “I was thinking about our daughter. It was for her to be in the public and recognize what she had done wrong."

"We spend so much focus on not wanting to hurt a child's self esteem that we don't do anything," the Nickells said in a statement defending the punishment.

"Walk a mile in someone's shoes," the statement read. "We must undo at home what the world tries to tell her is better."

Renee Nickell told the Northwest Florida Daily News that the family has had a hard time since Renee's brother was killed in Afghanistan in December 2011. Her kids were close to him and his family, she explained, even taking vacations together. Since losing her uncle, Renee's 13-year-old has become more defiant at home and at school, and her grades have dropped.

"We just felt like she just kind of gave up," Renee told the newspaper. The family did not say whether they sought grief counseling for their daughter after her uncle's death, or whether they thought her lack of interest in school was a sign of depression.

Holding a sign in public wasn't their first choice for punishment. They tried grounding her before, but it didn't help, they explained. They didn't forbid her from attending activities at church, they said, because the activities were supposed to reinforce the Christian values they were struggling to instill in her. They didn't confiscate her electronics because neither she nor their two younger children, ages 2 and 6, have any, they said.

"We just got to the point where we just didn't know what else to do," Renee told the newspaper. She said that she got the sign idea from a Christian counselor "several years ago," and decided to start with a 90-minute public punishment. The girl's dad stood next to her the whole time.

"At the end, she gave me a hug in front of the police officer and she told me she was sorry," Gentry said.

But on Tuesday the Nickells were surprised to find out that their daughter's punishment had gone viral, and were shocked by the anger leveled at them for their parenting choices.

"It makes me sad to think that this young girl had experienced such a painful loss recently and because she was acting out (as many, if not most young people do for a time) in response to that trauma, she was put on public display for her sins rather than receiving professional help/intervention," commented Katherine Rebecca Newlin. "How would her parents (or any ONE of us!?) feel if they were made to stand on a public corner with any number of THEIR sins plastered all over a sign for the world to see?"

"Worst parents ever," commented Asa Semaj of San Diego. "No one likes to be humiliated, especially a 13-year-old girl, by her own parents! 13-year-old girls have been know to kill themselves over less than this. The only thing she will learn from this is to hate her family."

While people are criticizing the Nickells for the punishment, some who saw the "self-entitled" sign say they support the the family.

"I saw her Saturday morning while running errands, and I thought to myself, great job mom and dad!" Aundy Blocker of Crestview said on Facebook. "Do everything possible to keep your child on the right track! Kudos to you!"

The Nickells likely meant to call out their kid for being "selfish," "self-centered," or "entitled" ("self-entitled" isn't a word) but even so, their message obviously got through to the teenager. They told the Northwest Florida Daily News that the girl's behavior had improved since Saturday.

“I asked her, ‘Were you scarred? Traumatized?’" Renee told the newspaper. "She said, ‘No mom, I knew it was coming'."

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:36 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CutieCrab
by Jen on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:37 AM

 BUMP!

ajdahd13
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:38 AM

It's not something I'd do, but I'm not gonna judge a parent for disciplining their kid. 

alexsmomaubrys2
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:40 AM
2 moms liked this

I despise shaming as a form of discipline. I don't know what they tried first but to me, this isn't parenting, it is bullying.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:42 AM
1 mom liked this

*shrugs* 

I wouldn't even read what the public was saying if I were the parents. Anyone who has read the replies after any article knows that people + computer = REALLY disgusting comments. They did what they thought they needed to do with an out of control teen and the police saw nothing wrong with that. I hope they all can get some grief counseling and that the teen girl behaves better now. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:43 AM
4 moms liked this
I think it's sad. It only takes a little research to learn that shaming is a shit way to "parent" your child. It does harm to your child emotionally and it should be AVOIDED.
This public shame for discipline fad is disgusting.
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:44 AM
3 moms liked this

Good. I support them 100%.

If she was warned that this would be the punishment - then too bad. I'm glad they said that we are too worried about hurting their feelings to do anything. That is sooo true. Parents are too concerned that their kids "will hate them" if they discipline them, etc.

My mom disciplined me growing up, and as a teen, I "HATED" her. Looking back now, I regret it and appreciate what she was doing for me. Sometimes our parents are @ssholes, but I guarantee she'll eventually look back on it and laugh and admit that her parents (right or wrong) were doing what they thought was best for her.

No reason for anyone to flip out. Geez.

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:45 AM

The parents were just doing what adults do !   In this day & age , its okay for another to shame another,( proof) just watch this site for awhile. The only thing different this adult did was teach his dd how to handle shame before it was thrusted upon her by her adult peers later in life.

DanaG70
by Platinum Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:48 AM
4 moms liked this

 Damned if you do, damned if you don't. It doesn't matter what they have done, SOMEBODY would find fault with it.

garnet83
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:49 AM
1 mom liked this

I don't think it'll kill the kid. At least the parents aren't just sitting back making excuses for her and allowing the behavior. With that said, I personally, prefer punishments to be between the kid and the parents, with the exception of the offense having hurt or affected someone else. I'm not one for public humiliation. But that's just me.

EvilAsh
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 8:50 AM
1 mom liked this

I can't believe parents do this crap.

It's the parents' fault that their kids are spoiled, no one else's.

CafeMom Tickers
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