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Qualifications of a good MIL/DIL/SIL

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:02 PM
  • 22 Replies

What is your personal list of qualifications that you feel a good MIL (or future daughter-in-law/son-in-law) should possess?

I see so many complaints, some of them honestly unbelievable, regarding the dreaded MIL.

So what, IYO, qualifies as a good MIL?

What type of person would you like your children to eventually marry, knowing that it's still up to them to choose?

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
unsuspected
by Platinum Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:09 PM
What happened to you resturant post



You're kidding right? Ive been seated next to swearing, cussing biker dudes, lesbians, e gawd ... republicans, potheads and vegitarians! In resturants. And in the real world, o my goodness people with varying veiws!

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model1000mom
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:13 PM

hummm...

I think my MIL is an awesome lady. She minds her business and does not put her nose into anything between her son and I. She follows our rules in regards to the children. If she is not sure she calls and asks. She and I have outings. We go to lunch, shopping, movies, and such. We enjoy our time together. I will most definately be like her when my children find their "significant other". 

Now for a SIL/DIL: I honestly dont care because I dont have to live with them however I would prefer them to be at least respectful towards my child (non abusive, drugfree, etc) and us. I do however know it is not something I can control per say. I have no say on whom my child has chosen as their mate and know I have no say. I am just going to have to trust that my husband and I have provided our children enough visual, verbal, and emotional stability in our own relationship that what we show them is what they would want and expect for themselves.

wkukid
by Beach Bum on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:15 PM

Mil mine would be keep reasonable distance. Call maybe twice a week at the most. Don't offer me advice or make demands on my home or family life. 

Lizardannie1966
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:33 PM

It's still around...the other thread.

Nope, not kidding.

We weren't offended by the the discussion itself whatsoever. She was a little loud but the tables at the restaurant were so close to one another, her "loudness" was merely a woman talking to her family and nothing more.

I was curious to know what some might think? How they'd feel and/or react?

And I was looking for something else to discuss than the usual.

Quoting unsuspected:

What happened to you resturant post



You're kidding right? Ive been seated next to swearing, cussing biker dudes, lesbians, e gawd ... republicans, potheads and vegitarians! In resturants. And in the real world, o my goodness people with varying veiws!


Lizardannie1966
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:35 PM

What would be a "reasonable distance?" A different city? a state or two away? Guyana? ;) lol

You're generous about the twice a week and I base that I what I read here.

Unsolicited advice?

Quoting wkukid:

Mil mine would be keep reasonable distance. Call maybe twice a week at the most. Don't offer me advice or make demands on my home or family life. 


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:36 PM

Is dead.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:37 PM
MIL should be just like my mother. DIL should be just like me...
Obviously
wkukid
by Beach Bum on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:39 PM

I wouldn't want her to live in the same town or even state. Right now phone calls are a everyday occurrence, I would like it to be maybe twice a week. And I wouldn't want to know what my mother or my SOs thought of how I keep my home or how we raise ours kids.

Quoting Lizardannie1966:

What would be a "reasonable distance?" A different city? a state or two away? Guyana? ;) lol

You're generous about the twice a week and I base that I what I read here.

Unsolicited advice?

Quoting wkukid:

Mil mine would be keep reasonable distance. Call maybe twice a week at the most. Don't offer me advice or make demands on my home or family life. 



mich.el.le
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:40 PM

My mil is amazing. She accepts me for who I am. She includes me on ''family'' stuff. She knows and fully believes that my husband's first commitment is to me (and our children) not to her.

In a daughter in law, I would like someone who's supportive of my son and wants to be a part of our family.

Lizardannie1966
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:40 PM

What you've described as your MIL is what I hope to be some day.

I will say this--when it comes to our home and when our adult children visit, I would like our house rules respected.

Example--if they allow their children to jump on the furniture, know that this is not allowed in OUR home. Kwim?

Otherwise, I'll just be that Mom who invites her adult children and their families over for Sunday suppers or holidays. Or heck, any time. If they need us, we're there. But they're living their own lives. I will stay out of things as long as no one is neglected or abused.

I really like what you've written regarding your future "children" in-law. I feel the same way.

Quoting model1000mom:

hummm...

I think my MIL is an awesome lady. She minds her business and does not put her nose into anything between her son and I. She follows our rules in regards to the children. If she is not sure she calls and asks. She and I have outings. We go to lunch, shopping, movies, and such. We enjoy our time together. I will most definately be like her when my children find their "significant other". 

Now for a SIL/DIL: I honestly dont care because I dont have to live with them however I would prefer them to be at least respectful towards my child (non abusive, drugfree, etc) and us. I do however know it is not something I can control per say. I have no say on whom my child has chosen as their mate and know I have no say. I am just going to have to trust that my husband and I have provided our children enough visual, verbal, and emotional stability in our own relationship that what we show them is what they would want and expect for themselves.


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