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What should I expect from him?

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 17 Replies
1 mom liked this
.. he's moving in here in a few months..
I want to know what should I expect from him along the lines of helping with bills, the kids etc.. and how to go about it...

A little back story: I was married, my husband passed away.. I had to children with him.. they are now 5 &2.. well 2 years after him passing (present) I starting seeing the first guy after him.. got pregnant shortly after (unplanned) ... Well we didn't work out throughout the pregnancy but recently are getting back together since the birth of our son a few weeks ago... he lives out of state so when he does come here he will have to leave his job, and a house he owns... so he will be out of a job.. also he just broke up with a girl he was with throughout my pregnancy.... This is his first son.. and I constantly ask if this is what he wants (to take on the role of not 1child but 3..) and he says yes...

Any advice? On what to expect from him? On what to do? How long should I wait to let him move in with me? Esp since he just broke up with her?... Should i tell him I expect him to help with bills, etc ??


Sorry all over the place.. but would really like some advice if have any questions just ask..
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:25 PM
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Replies (1-10):
peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:27 PM
3 moms liked this

it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:28 PM
Yeah, kind of worried about that.


Quoting peanutsmommy1:

it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen


notjstanothrmom
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:28 PM

Make sure he has a job lined up before he moves in. He has months to prepare, that should be the very first step.


Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:29 PM
Definitely


Quoting notjstanothrmom:

Make sure he has a job lined up before he moves in. He has months to prepare, that should be the very first step.



Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:31 PM
Why do you think so?


Quoting peanutsmommy1:

it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen


peanutsmommy1
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:34 PM
1 mom liked this

IDK.... no  job, just broke up with another woman..... that is a good start

Quoting Anonymous:

Why do you think so?


Quoting peanutsmommy1:

it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen



 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:37 PM
Ik It's not ideal lol but I am waiting awhile before he moves in... If he had it his way he wants to move now..


Quoting peanutsmommy1:

IDK.... no  job, just broke up with another woman..... that is a good start

Quoting Anonymous:

Why do you think so?





Quoting peanutsmommy1:

it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen





smushy79
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:37 PM

 I would iron out alot of things before he sets foot in the door. Since this is not an overnight thing, he should have no probelm trying to set up employment for when he moves. Yes, I would expect that he helps with bills, unless you like supporting him.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:41 PM
Heck no! That's why I'm trying to ensure that doesn't happen...

But I feel what if he says... "Since you have more children, you should pay more or all..and do more"..
Fair?

Or something like that so I'm trying to think how to go about it?


Quoting smushy79:

 I would iron out alot of things before he sets foot in the door. Since this is not an overnight thing, he should have no probelm trying to set up employment for when he moves. Yes, I would expect that he helps with bills, unless you like supporting him.


1likeme
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:45 PM
1 mom liked this
Wait. This isn't the time to make such a big decision. If you were speaking to a friend considering this would you tell her that moving in an unemployed man who spent her pregnant involved with another woman is a good idea. I think if he is serious about being a family he needs to prove himself by moving there on his own getting a job and slowly build a better relationship with you.
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