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I'm worried my dad might be suicidal.

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:02 PM
  • 21 Replies

My sister and I are worried about our dad. 

It all started with him and his wife having some problems. She seems abusive to me, or manipulative at the very least. I don't know the extent of it, but he doesn't seem happy and she is a fucking cunt. 

He wrote me a letter a few months ago reminding me to not forget to have fun because he didn't want me to turn out like him, he said, 'I don't know how to have fun, I only know how to work'. A few weeks later, his job is downsizing and reducing hours and eventually firing employees. He's worried about job security and is having trouble finding a new job. 

He was moody for a few days and sent me a text saying, 'hey sorry I've been so moody lately, I'm not mad at you, I'm just mad at the world.' Okay. My sister and I are pretty sure he's depressed at this point.

He told me a few months ago that he has a safe in his closet with all of their information (insurance, etc) and his words were "if anything happens to me and (his wife), all of our documents are in this safe"

Recently, he told me that he's planning on cashing in his life insurance policy to give me and my kids so we can find a better place to live (I know he worries about us). I assured him it wasn't necessary and we're doing okay but when I told my sister, she told me people know their life insurance policy doesn't cover suicide so if he is planning to kill himself, if he cashes it in now, he knows it will go to good use. This was the first time she brought up suicide as a possible thing to consider. I brushed her off and said that was a horrible thing to even think. It just scared me, tbh.

Fast forward a week later (today). I was trying to print my resume out on his computer when I closed out of it by mistake, I went to the 'recent documents' folder to try to retrieve it. I saw a PDF file entitled 'shotgun'. I clicked on it and it was a manual describing different types of ammo, how to use a shotgun, etc. My dad has never been into guns or hunting. Seeing the PDF file made my heart sink and I got a bad feeling. My sister is getting worried too. 

Are we over reacting? I think the red flags I've posted here coupled with the fact that he seems depressed would indicate we should be concerned. Am I correct in that deduction?

If so, how the hell do I bring it up to him? I have a really hard time talking to people about personal things like this, especially my dad. We are both very reserved, quiet, and private. It would be the most awkward conversation if I am wrong. But then what if I'm not?

WHAT DO I DO?

by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MojoRising
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:05 PM
You're not overreacting. He needs help. Now.
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Xo.LOVES.Xo
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:05 PM

Bump, I'm not really sure about what to say. Hope he isn't but if he is, I hope he gets the right care. :(

HipLikeJunk
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:06 PM

Thank you for posting. Sometimes you just need an unbiased party to confirm what you already think. 

How do I bring it up though? I don't even know how to begin to talk to him about this. 

Quoting MojoRising:

You're not overreacting. He needs help. Now.


fraujones
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:07 PM

Ask him outright. DH just took a suicide prevention course and this is what they recommended. 

And today I am going to calling hours for my friend's mom who committed suicide this past Wednesday. It's devastating. His mom was such a sweet woman. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:09 PM

i would just sit him down and try and talk to him about how he's been lately. than go one to say how happy you are to have him in your life and so on. i know it'll feel uncomfortable but maybe reminding him how much you all love and need him will snap him out of it? tell him you've been worried and his behavior lately has you concerned. tell him that if he ever needs anything that he has two daughters that love him and would do anything for him. idk, hope it helps. 

HipLikeJunk
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:11 PM

Thank you. I plan to talk to him tonight.
I'm so sorry about your friend's mom. I can't imagine life without my dad, if he died I would be completely devastated.  

Quoting fraujones:

Ask him outright. DH just took a suicide prevention course and this is what they recommended. 

And today I am going to calling hours for my friend's mom who committed suicide this past Wednesday. It's devastating. His mom was such a sweet woman. 


HipLikeJunk
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:11 PM

Thank you, that helps a lot.

Quoting Anonymous:

i would just sit him down and try and talk to him about how he's been lately. than go one to say how happy you are to have him in your life and so on. i know it'll feel uncomfortable but maybe reminding him how much you all love and need him will snap him out of it? tell him you've been worried and his behavior lately has you concerned. tell him that if he ever needs anything that he has two daughters that love him and would do anything for him. idk, hope it helps. 


fraujones
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:17 PM

I am sorry that you are worried about your dad. It's so scary! People live so much in their own heads. I lost my Dad in 2008 to liver disease and while I was heartbroken, I think a suicide complicates the pain and grief. I hope your dad can pull out of this dark place. 

Quoting HipLikeJunk:

Thank you. I plan to talk to him tonight.
I'm so sorry about your friend's mom. I can't imagine life without my dad, if he died I would be completely devastated.  

Quoting fraujones:

Ask him outright. DH just took a suicide prevention course and this is what they recommended. 

And today I am going to calling hours for my friend's mom who committed suicide this past Wednesday. It's devastating. His mom was such a sweet woman. 



HipLikeJunk
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:18 PM

Thank you.

Quoting Xo.LOVES.Xo:

Bump, I'm not really sure about what to say. Hope he isn't but if he is, I hope he gets the right care. :(


HipLikeJunk
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:24 PM

I just hope I'm overreacting. My sister and I seem more worried than my brother, who said he talked about future plans recently with our dad. Which is a good sign right? Suicidal people tend to not make plans, right?

Sorry about your dad :( I haven't lost anyone extremely close to me, so I can't even fathom how awful it is. I think the thing with suicide though is that you tend to think about all the ways you could have prevented it, or how could you not know he was in that much pain. And also the anger maybe. 

Quoting fraujones:

I am sorry that you are worried about your dad. It's so scary! People live so much in their own heads. I lost my Dad in 2008 to liver disease and while I was heartbroken, I think a suicide complicates the pain and grief. I hope your dad can pull out of this dark place. 

Quoting HipLikeJunk:

Thank you. I plan to talk to him tonight.
I'm so sorry about your friend's mom. I can't imagine life without my dad, if he died I would be completely devastated.  

Quoting fraujones:

Ask him outright. DH just took a suicide prevention course and this is what they recommended. 

And today I am going to calling hours for my friend's mom who committed suicide this past Wednesday. It's devastating. His mom was such a sweet woman. 




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