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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Husband got a DUI (Update)

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 136 Replies
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I'm devastated.

My best friend died being hit by a drinking and driving accident in high school, so he knows how strongly I feel about it. I think it's horrible, selfish and just plain stupid.

He blew a .12, so he had to have had a few drinks and conciously made the choice to do it. On top of all the moral issues with it, he could have his license suspended for a year, a fine of $1000, have to go to an alcohol class and a bunch of other expensive things. We live in a rural area, can't afford to not have him drive to work and can't afford all these lawyer fees and other fines he'll get.

What would you do? I was so mad when I was talking to my mom last night that I brought up kicking him out, but she said I was being dramatic- do you think so?


UPDATE: His friend dropped him off around 6pm to talk. He was apologetic and upset, broke into tears at one point,  but eventually said he knew he had drank too much and didn't see the big deal in driving home and actually said he was annoyed that he would had to pay so many fines. Wrong answer. He's staying with his friend until further notice- I'm not having someone who doesn't see the big deal in drinking and driving in my house and around my children. Someone who knew he had consumed too much alcohol and chose to drive anyway. 

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:09 PM
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jillbailey26
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:11 PM
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You do what he needs to get all of that stuff done.  

If he ends up with a suspended license, you drive him to and from work each day.  It's inconvenient, and probably feels impossible, but you do what you have to.


"Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification"  Romans 14:19

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:13 PM

I just can't even stand to look at him right now, knowing that he could have killed someone through being a selfish jerk.

I also can't drive him to work, since we have different hours.

Quoting jillbailey26:

You do what he needs to get all of that stuff done.  

If he ends up with a suspended license, you drive him to and from work each day.  It's inconvenient, and probably feels impossible, but you do what you have to.



livingforthem83
by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:16 PM
7 moms liked this
Being a wife means standing by your husband, you know for better or for worse.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:19 PM

I know, it's just very hard to draw the line here. He knows my personal experience with drunk driving, he knows how strongly I feel about it. To me this has always been a huge dealbreaker and problem, but never really thought it would come up.

Part of me has always said that someone who drives drunk should go to prison or never drive again. He's facing severe consequences- am I really supposed to spend my hard earned money trying to minimize those consequences for him?

Quoting livingforthem83:

Being a wife means standing by your husband, you know for better or for worse.



momoftwo0406
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:19 PM
3 moms liked this
He made a mistake I'm sure he is kicking himself in the ass. Your his wife stand by him and you guys will get through it.
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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:21 PM

I haven't really talked to him because I'm so furious, but from what I understand he decided to drive home after having too many drinks with his friends when he could have called me. He made a choice to risk his own life and the life of everyone else on the road...is that really a mistake?

Quoting momoftwo0406:

He made a mistake I'm sure he is kicking himself in the ass. Your his wife stand by him and you guys will get through it.



livingforthem83
by Gold Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:24 PM
2 moms liked this
I have been in your shoes and it is a pain for everyone. And it does come with a high financial burden. But I just can't see getting a divorce for a mistake. If the shoe was on the other foot would you want your husband there to support you?


Quoting Anonymous:

I know, it's just very hard to draw the line here. He knows my personal experience with drunk driving, he knows how strongly I feel about it. To me this has always been a huge dealbreaker and problem, but never really thought it would come up.

Part of me has always said that someone who drives drunk should go to prison or never drive again. He's facing severe consequences- am I really supposed to spend my hard earned money trying to minimize those consequences for him?


Quoting livingforthem83:

Being a wife means standing by your husband, you know for better or for worse.





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ColieO
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:25 PM
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I'd be furious. Somebody might end up dead.
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ColieO
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:25 PM
How is it a mistake?

Quoting livingforthem83:

I have been in your shoes and it is a pain for everyone. And it does come with a high financial burden. But I just can't see getting a divorce for a mistake. If the shoe was on the other foot would you want your husband there to support you?




Quoting Anonymous:

I know, it's just very hard to draw the line here. He knows my personal experience with drunk driving, he knows how strongly I feel about it. To me this has always been a huge dealbreaker and problem, but never really thought it would come up.

Part of me has always said that someone who drives drunk should go to prison or never drive again. He's facing severe consequences- am I really supposed to spend my hard earned money trying to minimize those consequences for him?



Quoting livingforthem83:

Being a wife means standing by your husband, you know for better or for worse.






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southern.momof2
by Pirate on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:26 PM
1 mom liked this
My aunt and uncle were killed by a drunk driver. This is something I would divorce over.
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