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Multiple fathers = bad parenting?

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Question: Do you pass judgement on how good a parent they are?

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Yes

No

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I face a lot of judgment on my ability to parent just because I have more than one "baby daddy" as we seem to call them these days. I've also seen other women take a lot of judgment.

Do you prejudge women just because they have multiple "baby daddies"?

If so, why?

Does having multiple "baby daddies" really make a woman a bad parent?

Andrew: 4th October 1988; John: 23rd April 1990; Liia: 17th October 1991; Kirstee: 20th July 1992; Liam: 25th October 2005; Lily-May: 14th December 2008; George: 7th October 2009; Marley-Rose: 7th October 2009; Aiden: 14th February 2011; Keeleigh-Grace: 2nd September 2012

by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:09 PM
Replies (41-50):
bowribbonmama
by Ruby Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:39 PM
I ALWAYS get judged. ALWAYS. People assume that since I was young (23) and about to have my 4th child that I sleep around and they all have different dads.
No. My son (oldest) doesn't have the same BIOLOGICAL father (however, my husband is very much his dad) and all my girls have the same father, who is my husband.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:40 PM
1 mom liked this
No not everyone gets married...


Quoting Anonymous:

Also depends on how many baby daddies.  Two isn't so bad, but more than that it just looks slutty.  Plus, shouldn't they be ex-husbands and not baby daddies?


mommaFruFru
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:41 PM
I think anyone whom uses the term "baby daddy" is a bad. Parent.

I think it more depends on how long they were together, and their lifestyle than the number of fathers
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:41 PM
So you have ten (almost 11) children and they have four different fathers? Wow. I'm not judging at all... If your a good mom then good for you but I can't imagine juggling it all. Are all of the fathers involved?

I have one child with my ex-husband. The thought of having more than one father to deal with has always scared me so I will not be having any more children.

Quoting JessMomOf9:

I've been married once, to the man I'm with now and we have 5 children together, and I'm pregnant with our 6th. I have 5 other children from 3 previous relationships. I would have rather had all my children with one man, but life didn't go that way.




Quoting Anonymous:

I dont judge your parenting skills. I judge your decision making skills. But i was raised to believe that you dont get pregnant unless you're married, and you dont get married unless you're prepared to be married until death, for better or worse

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:43 PM
1 mom liked this

 Since you asked.....I think most anyone who is shitting out kids without bothering to marry must be an idiot.  No need to get bent out of shape though about my opinion.  It's like assholes, we all have one and you asked. 

bi-polarmommy
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:43 PM

 my sister has four children from three diffrent men

ds1 - first marriage

ds2 - affiar (now third marriage)

ds 3 - second marriage

ds4 - second marriage

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:50 PM
1 mom liked this
It doesnt make me think you're a bad parent or a bad person. It just makes me believe that you dont take good care or yourself or have much respect for yourself. I believe if you are a sexually active unmarried woman you should be on birth control and use condoms everytime. That way you're protecting yourself from diseases as well as pregnancy. i know alot of people dont seem to have these beliefs but this is how i was raised and i believe in it strongly.

Quoting JessMomOf9:

I've been married once, to the man I'm with now and we have 5 children together, and I'm pregnant with our 6th. I have 5 other children from 3 previous relationships. I would have rather had all my children with one man, but life didn't go that way.




Quoting Anonymous:

I dont judge your parenting skills. I judge your decision making skills. But i was raised to believe that you dont get pregnant unless you're married, and you dont get married unless you're prepared to be married until death, for better or worse

robibuni
by Platinum Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:53 PM
1 mom liked this

My SIL has 5 kids by 5 men, my paternal grandma has 6 kids by 6 men. They're not horrible parents, they just make bad decisions.


Quoting Anonymous:

I agree. I have one child by a man who didn't marry me, so I'm going to make sure I don't make that same mistake again. Every man who says they "love you" doesn't!


Quoting robibuni:

Multiple fathers = multiple bad decisions. Doesn't mean you're a bad parent though.




bowribbonmama
by Ruby Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:54 PM
2 moms liked this
1. Being unmarried doesn't mean sleeping around
2. Marriage doesn't protect you from STIs because people cheat

You really do have your head in the clouds.


Quoting Anonymous:

It doesnt make me think you're a bad parent or a bad person. It just makes me believe that you dont take good care or yourself or have much respect for yourself. I believe if you are a sexually active unmarried woman you should be on birth control and use condoms everytime. That way you're protecting yourself from diseases as well as pregnancy. i know alot of people dont seem to have these beliefs but this is how i was raised and i believe in it strongly.



Quoting JessMomOf9:

I've been married once, to the man I'm with now and we have 5 children together, and I'm pregnant with our 6th. I have 5 other children from 3 previous relationships. I would have rather had all my children with one man, but life didn't go that way.






Quoting Anonymous:

I dont judge your parenting skills. I judge your decision making skills. But i was raised to believe that you dont get pregnant unless you're married, and you dont get married unless you're prepared to be married until death, for better or worse

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
weaveress
by Silver Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 4:55 PM
2 moms liked this

the women I know with multiple baby daddies usually have never been married or maybe to one out of three of the daddies. they just make poor choices and keep having babies. and the kids pay for it. regardless of whether the mom is a "good" mom or not. The kid gets stuck in the middle. I feel sorry for them. 

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