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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Gut feeling I'll have a stillborn help. Trigger pic pg 52 UPDATE!!

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Pics on page 52 & 54



Throughout my pregnancy things haven't felt right at all, at first I worried about mc then incompetent cervix and then me dying during birth, but I worked all through these fears until I reached the word stillbirth, then something rang in my body like no other I had this awful knot in my stomach and still do, even buying baby items I'm very uneasy like I'm forcing myself to buy them but she won't be wearing them.

I never felt this way with my son, I was so happy with him and excited, with this one I feel no connection and kind of angry when she moves because I feel it's all going to be taken away from me I just don't know when, it's like my brain is preparing me, I guess I started grieving before it's even happening, when people talk about her the knot in my stomach happens, it's so very weird. I pray to god it's just anxiety but a part of me just knows I won't bring my baby home.

I was searching the internet to find others who have felt this way and felt so strongly about their feelings and even after everything it all turned out ok, but I never found anyone who felt this way and everything turned out fine, everyone I read has confirmed my fears.

I want my baby girl so badly! I had a mc before my son and had this feeling that's why it's scaring me.

I pray to god my fears and premonitions don't come true, but it's not looking positive.

Please tell me if you've gone through this and how did things turn out? I've already told my df to get prepared, and to cancle my baby shower.

It doesn't feel like normal anxiety..... It feels like a strong intuition.

**UPDATE**I DELIVERED MY 9 Lb 2 oz BABY GIRL SOPHIA MARGARET (JUNE 4th at 12:25 A.M.)I CAN'T BELIEVE I THOUGHT THE WAY I DID I REGRET BEING SO WORRIED! THANK YOU ALL FOR EVERYTHING!! IM THE HAPPIEST WOMAN EVER!!! SHE IS A JOY AND I LOVE HER SO MUCH!
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:18 PM
Replies (31-40):
Chasesmum3109
by Platinum Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:29 PM
I'm so very sorry for your loss if you don't mind me asking how did it happen?

Quoting jojo_star:

Have you been to your dr? I had a stillbirth, at 39 weeks we found out our baby girl's heart had stopped. I had no inkling the whole pregnancy that something was wrong. It was a perfect pregnancy. I did have two miscarriages before then, but those were both early. If you really think something is wrong, go to your dr. 

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BeAmour
by Tonya on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:29 PM
Honey, you are sooooo close. Your baby could survive on the outside if needed. Keep that in mind. If you feel odd, immediately go in.

Quoting Chasesmum3109:

I'm 30 weeks today and I'm trying to keep my faith in god.



Quoting CV3:

How far along are you? Do you have any sort of religious beliefs?

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heydooney
by Silver Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:30 PM

That must be awful, true or not. I'm sorry.

Not exactly the same but when i found out I was pregnant with my 3rd I was scared and disappointed. DH was unemployed and we were just really struggling with money and all. Then I started bleeding, and went to the midwife. When I walked in, she hugged me and said "I want you to know this is NOT your fault." And then I realized that I hadn't wanted this pregnancy and maybe it WAS my fault. After a weekend of torture we found out I was not miscarrying, but had a subchorrionic hemmorhage and it was basically nothing, unless it grew, which it didn't. But for the rest of the pregnancy I felt that I didn't deserve this child because of the way I felt at the beginning, and that something was going to go wrong and I would lose it. I had trouble bonding with him when he was first born. It felt like babysitting.

He is now two years old and a beautiful, smart child and I could not imagine life without him.

PaperClip811
by Silver Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:31 PM

Oh that is terrible. I had a similar feeling, that I wouldnt be bringing a baby home, that there was no way everything could just be ok (for no reason) but I didnt have a specific fear (Other than this terrifying extremely graphic recurring dream).

But other than needed a c-section he was born and came home just fine, he's 5 now. But I still have a lot of fear about him. I think Im just 'crazy' like that.

jojo_star
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:31 PM


It was put down as a cord accident, but essentially, they had no idea what happened. She was fine at my 38 week checkup, and then I didn't feel her move, went in, and no heartbeat. They induced me. 

Quoting Chasesmum3109:

I'm so very sorry for your loss if you don't mind me asking how did it happen?

Quoting jojo_star:

Have you been to your dr? I had a stillbirth, at 39 weeks we found out our baby girl's heart had stopped. I had no inkling the whole pregnancy that something was wrong. It was a perfect pregnancy. I did have two miscarriages before then, but those were both early. If you really think something is wrong, go to your dr. 



CV3
by Silver Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:31 PM

 This is a great suggestion even if you just go through yourself. When I feel super anxiety, I think about what is makingme anxious and try to pinpoint the exact thing that causes or intensifys the feeling. I am not sure if I am explaining it right but I find analyzing helps me.


Quoting curlycupcake:

I'd like to hear more about your feelings. Is it like imagining the worst happening and living it through imagination? Or is it more like you feel a sort of presence giving you warning? I ask because I had a similar experience, and through support groups know others as well.


 

Derpy
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:32 PM

Hun,this could just be a bad fear.You will know in the end and I hope your baby girl comes out kicking.


"Life,which you so nobly serve,comes from destructiopn,disorder and choas" -Jean-Baptiste Emanuel Zorg

dancer
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:32 PM

What does your doctor say about all this?

2012Rabbit12
by Platinum Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:32 PM

It could be.. i had a very strong intuition my first babys father would be taken away from me. as the time got closer the feeling became stronger, so much that I begged God to give me more time w/him and not to take him away yet. I didnt know exactly when, and i didnt know he would die, just a strong feeling he would be taken away. But when I did get the phone call, I still wasnt prepared, and didnt want to believe it. But that doesnt mean just because u fear your baby dying that that will happen, because u mentioned many other fears and they did not come true. You really need to talk to your dr., and also keep praying and praying to God to give u revelation,and calm your fears. You dont know for sure if its a premonition, or that u are just being tormented by fear. Either way, u do need to try to calm down. Talk to your dr. as soon as u can.

Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:32 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting HelloSweetie:

It sounds like a major phobia has formed. I truly TRULY don't think your feelings are an accurate representation of what will happen at your baby's birth. Speak with your dr about ALL of your fears.

*hugs*


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