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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Need opinions please

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 63 Replies

I'm going to start out by saying please no one bash me. I'm honestly just a single mom looking for answers. Let it be known that I DO supervise my son. I DO take care of my son very well. I am a 24yo single mom as I said, it's just me and him at home, and I can't have my eyes on him 24/7 because there are meals to be made and the house has to be clean.

So anyway.

My ex husband was abusive. He was never abusive towards my son, however my son witnessed it multiple times. I left him once, when my son was a year and a half, we separated for nine months, then after he got counseling and anger management I went back to him for a few months. We are separated again and for good this time. DS sees his dad every weekend. But that isn't what this post is about, just giving background info.

DS is 3, turning 4 in September. He has a condition known as DiGeorge Syndrome (it's a disorder where he's missing a chromosome). He has medical issues and takes 4 different medications regularly (for seizures, acid reflux, immune deficiency, and uses a nebulizer - breathing treatments). Over the course of the past year, he has developed behaviors that are destructive and sometimes downright dangerous. I don't know if these are due to his condition, due to the inconsistencies in his life, due to the abuse he witnessed. I really just don't know.

To name some of the recent ones that have caused me to say he's out of control -

* sneaks out of bed in the middle of the night, gets in the pantry and fridge, and gets food EVERYWHERE and I mean literally everywhere. The other night he got out a half full gallon of milk and stuffed all of his crayons in it. (I have bought locks for both to stop this because he has wasted so much food) He loves to stuff crayons and toys into his glass of whatever he's drinking.

* jumps on the bed every chance he gets

* climbs up on the couch and tries to jump off

* climbs on his dresser

* pushes chairs over to the stove and climbs up on top of the fridge (one of his middle of the night activities I have caught him at)

* gets into the litter box (5 minutes in the kitchen of me fixing his lunch and he had cat sh** covering his bed sheets, bedside table, and dresser - bathroom is right next to bedroom)

* throws toys, sometimes at me, sometimes at the cat

* constant tantrums (latest tantrum was because I wouldn't give him a cookie when he asked for one)

* doesn't listen to anything I say, favorite word is no

* runs away from me when we're out and about. just the other day he got away from me and ran towards the road, luckily the post lady was passing by and caught him

* takes the food from the cat's bowl and puts it in the water

I could go on, I feel I'm just tipping the ice berg here. I have tried everything under to the sun to stop these habits. I have done time out. I hate to say it but I have done spankings (to no result. he laughs). I have tried to talk to him calmly. I have taken things away. I have tried grounding. I have tried ignoring the behaviour, thinking it might be for attention. I have tried everything. Nothing works, it just gets worse.

I spoke to the babysitter. She says he does great when the other kids are there and he's playing with them. However, she was watching him while I worked the other day and they went to her sister's house, DS was playing with her niece, and he repeatedly took toys away from her to the point she was in tears. She kept him overnight when I worked night shift and caught him jumping on the bed at 1:30 in the morning.

I have spoken to DS's grandpa (I have a protective order on DS's dad, who lives with his parents, so any information and discussions have to go through them. He said DS never acts out to that degree while at their house, the worst he does is try to jump off the couch.

I have never received any behavioural complaints from his preschool teachers.

I am at the end of my rope. I cannot spend a good day with my son anymore, it is constant stress, over the top, to the point I just want to pull my hair out. It is downright awful anymore and I just don't know what is going on with him. He's still very young, and doesn't talk very well, so if something is bothering him to make him act like this, he can't tell me. My boyfriend thinks I should take him to a child psychologist. I looked things up on the internet about ODD and ADHD and have been thinking of taking him to his doctor to talk about these, or what else might be causing him to act like this. I don't want to resort to taking him to a psychologist or putting him on more medication because he has another disorder, but I really just do not know what to do anymore. If anyone has any constructive - and not rude or disrespectful - advice, I would really appreciate it.

Thank you and sorry this post is so long.

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:52 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:56 AM
1 mom liked this

You need to take him to a professional. I know that you don't want to, but that's what he needs. It would help you out too. Do not feel guilty about getting him help!  Good luck and I will pray for both of you!

Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:00 AM
1 mom liked this

I am sorry, but none of the stuff you mentioned seems all that bad. It sounds like he is bored and acting out. The only ones that would really concern me is the running into the street and climbing on top of the fridge. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:02 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

You need to take him to a professional. I know that you don't want to, but that's what he needs. It would help you out too. Do not feel guilty about getting him help!  Good luck and I will pray for both of you!

That may be what I have to resort to, but I probably will take him to his pediatrician first to see what he has to say. I just want to have a good day with my son, and be able to take him places and do fun things with him and I can't. The things he does truly scares me. Before I put the pantry lock on, he moved the stool in there and got up on the shelf where I kept the flea stuff for the cat. That's what prompted me to get the locks. I am truly terrified that this behavior is going to get him seriously hurt.

One of the side effects of his DiGeorge is behavioral issues, but this has gone to far for it to be just that. Do you think it's because of everything he's gone through? Witnessing abuse, we lived in a domestic violence shelter for awhile, moved into a trailer, then into the home we're in now, then through the coarse of the week he goes from me to the babysitter, then to his granparents/dad's on the weekends, though his dad is rarely there so it's mostly just grandparent time.

sarahbsquare
by Silver Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:03 AM

i agree it is out of your hands and someone elses needs to step in and help sort out what's going on..

do you pity him because he has those other problems..i hope not since he knows that he can bust your balls and get away with it and that's why he does it.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:04 AM


Quoting Anonymous:

I am sorry, but none of the stuff you mentioned seems all that bad. It sounds like he is bored and acting out. The only ones that would really concern me is the running into the street and climbing on top of the fridge. 

Maybe not by themselves no, but it's a culmination of everything. What I mention in the bullet points happened in the coarse of one day, that was this past Friday. It was a constant day of him acting out throwing tantrums, the tantrum over the cookie lasted for 2 hours. And he may be a tiny 3 yo, but he screams and slams door and throws toys when he throws a tantrum and they go on for hours. Add several of these a day along with all the rest of that and it's a constant struggle to deal with the behavior.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:06 AM


Quoting sarahbsquare:

i agree it is out of your hands and someone elses needs to step in and help sort out what's going on..

do you pity him because he has those other problems..i hope not since he knows that he can bust your balls and get away with it and that's why he does it.

Absolutely  not. I treat him like I would treat any other child. I don't want him to grow up thinking he's different just because he has a medical condition. With his medication, it's not severe enough to stop him living a normal life, so I don't treat him like it would. He has rules and a schedule like any other child would. He's my miracle baby and I'm blessed that he's alive and here with me.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:07 AM

I just wish he could tell me what's going on, tell me why he's acting out the way he is. But he's not at the point where he can do that. He's in speech therapy.

sarahbsquare
by Silver Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:08 AM

i have a son with problems as well it doesn't have a title yet but he doesn't talk and is a terrible communicator.so i know how it feels.

i believe you should go and see a dr about it they know more and can give you tools that are vital for helping him.

i believeQuoting Anonymous:


Quoting sarahbsquare:

i agree it is out of your hands and someone elses needs to step in and help sort out what's going on..

do you pity him because he has those other problems..i hope not since he knows that he can bust your balls and get away with it and that's why he does it.

Absolutely  not. I treat him like I would treat any other child. I don't want him to grow up thinking he's different just because he has a medical condition. With his medication, it's not severe enough to stop him living a normal life, so I don't treat him like it would. He has rules and a schedule like any other child would. He's my miracle baby and I'm blessed that he's alive and here with me.


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Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:11 AM

I'm waiting for his Medicaid to be reinstated at the moment. Something went wrong and I had to reapply *sigh* but as soon as I get the letter that it's reinstated I'm doing just that. I'm just fearful of what could happen if this behavior continues. I have a very difficult time sleeping at night because I'm afraid he's going to wake up in the middle of the night and hurt himself because of what he's doing.

Quoting sarahbsquare:

i have a son with problems as well it doesn't have a title yet but he doesn't talk and is a terrible communicator.so i know how it feels.

i believe you should go and see a dr about it they know more and can give you tools that are vital for helping him.

i believeQuoting Anonymous:


Quoting sarahbsquare:

i agree it is out of your hands and someone elses needs to step in and help sort out what's going on..

do you pity him because he has those other problems..i hope not since he knows that he can bust your balls and get away with it and that's why he does it.

Absolutely  not. I treat him like I would treat any other child. I don't want him to grow up thinking he's different just because he has a medical condition. With his medication, it's not severe enough to stop him living a normal life, so I don't treat him like it would. He has rules and a schedule like any other child would. He's my miracle baby and I'm blessed that he's alive and here with me.



vash77
by Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:13 AM

if  he "behaves"  for others and  shows his ass for you, maybe he's just acting out because of the changes. i  hope so, better  than more meds needed. could just be pissed for upheaval.

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