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Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Christians, a question about marriage. Not a gay marriage post, just want to pick your brain.

Posted by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:49 AM
  • 16 Replies

So myself and my SO are not married. We may never officially marry. People are just beside themselves at times that we own a home together and have children together and are not married but the thing is that we believe the commitments we have to one another does equate marriage under our beliefs and faith.


I was raised in a christian home, went to christian schools for quite a while, and my family is religious at varying degrees. Its been years since i have opened a bible but i couldnt remember there being a clear definition of what defines a couple being husband/wife so i've been doing research and it seems that there is no clear scripture which says that a couple must do A, B, and C to become married under God.

What is your comprehension on this? 

by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:49 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Fields456
by Ruby Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:51 AM
Bump. Cause I'm not sure never thought about it
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MaNdYbEaR2010
by *Manda* on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:52 AM
I think it's just a societal/legal thing at this point.
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missamanda86
by Silver Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:52 AM

I also was raised in a highly religious Christian/Baptist family and I feel the same way you do. I wish I hadnt married my exH because of all the paperwork to undo it lol. Ive also wondered your same question many times but I dont dare ask my family. All I know is it says (i think) somewhere that you should live in sin

HollieMariex3
by Bronze Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:53 AM
That is a great question! I'm not religious so I don't really know, but I agree with a pp that it's a societal norm.
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carolyntx
by Gold Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:54 AM

it speaks clearly that a couple becomes "one flesh" and that divorce is not an option, also that adultery is clearly wrong, that the couple should give of themselves to one another sexually so as not to be open to temptations, but no where can i find where it explains what defines marriage. It seems that by becoming one flesh the assumption could be made that once committed and consumated you are therefor married BUT assumptions are the reason that people look down on me for not being married so i dont want to assume anything lol. 

Quoting missamanda86:

I also was raised in a highly religious Christian/Baptist family and I feel the same way you do. I wish I hadnt married my exH because of all the paperwork to undo it lol. Ive also wondered your same question many times but I dont dare ask my family. All I know is it says (i think) somewhere that you should live in sin


missamanda86
by Silver Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:56 AM

Right...I dunno, Ive read the bible more than once years ago, and in all my years of being forced to sit through sermons I dont remember ever hearing one about actually becoming married. Maybe thats where 'common law' marriage comes from?

Quoting carolyntx:

it speaks clearly that a couple becomes "one flesh" and that divorce is not an option, also that adultery is clearly wrong, that the couple should give of themselves to one another sexually so as not to be open to temptations, but no where can i find where it explains what defines marriage. It seems that by becoming one flesh the assumption could be made that once committed and consumated you are therefor married BUT assumptions are the reason that people look down on me for not being married so i dont want to assume anything lol. 

Quoting missamanda86:

I also was raised in a highly religious Christian/Baptist family and I feel the same way you do. I wish I hadnt married my exH because of all the paperwork to undo it lol. Ive also wondered your same question many times but I dont dare ask my family. All I know is it says (i think) somewhere that you should live in sin



Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:56 AM
My mom once told me if you love each other and are committed then you are married in the eyes of God. However the laws of the land require documentation and we should follow the law....
carolyntx
by Gold Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:07 AM
1 mom liked this

I dont personally believe that i need the state to validate my commitments. As long as we file taxes jointly then we are fullfilling our legal obligation. 

Quoting Anonymous:

My mom once told me if you love each other and are committed then you are married in the eyes of God. However the laws of the land require documentation and we should follow the law....


Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:27 AM
This is what I think, marriage is a commitment between u and ur partner a promise to love and live with each other til "death do us part" getting married is a way of making those promises to ur partner in the name of God. And marriage certificate is basically a piece of paper validating ur marriage with our society.
RoseBlossom
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:30 AM
1 mom liked this

when i think about this, i believe if you commit yourselves to each other under God then you are married, however it does say in the bible Romans 13 (1 Obey the government, for God is the one who put it there. All governments have been placed in power by God. 2 So those who refuse to obey the laws of the land are refusing to obey God, and punishment will follow. ) so you will want to get married legally to make it right

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