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Spin Off Sex Vent

Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies

So my husband and I were having sex about once a week and we have been married five years. Three weeks ago I was put on bedrest for preterm labor, I am 6 mo pregnant. In five years I have only had 3 orgasms from sex. Our routine is sex, he gets off and I use my toy. Its sad but sex is just hard for me to orgasm from. I feel bad but he has gained a lot of weight and I had too. Its bad, our pregnancy pics, everyone was telling him he was the one who looked pregnant. I wanted to punch them. I know it had to hurt him.  Before I got pregnant I lost all 55lbs of it and now that I am 6 mo pregnant, I don't feel as attractive anyways. I have tried to talk to him about it and we used to try more but its just into a routine now. Plus I feel bad talking about it bc I don't want to make him feel worse, He is a great husband and father, Now that I am on bed rest, of course I want sex constantly (something you can't have), stupid hormones. I have given him handjobs, trying to keep him happy but its's hard. I want him to be back to where he used to be. Can anyone else relate or have suggestions?

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:15 PM
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by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:57 PM
by Ruby Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 1:59 PM
I can relate. SO has gained about 30lbs and I gained too but its more noticeable on him.

He stopped having sex w me while I was pregnant and I went like 7 months without.
We're having a hard time coming back from that and our son is 15 mos.
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by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:03 PM
He chose not too? Was he scared hed hurt the baby? We want to just was instructed not to. It's hard bc I can help him.. its only been 3 wks for me. 7 mo, I'm sorry. Have you tried talk about it?
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:16 PM
2 moms liked this

I can relate and I can't but I have a suggestion. After the baby is born. Loose weight together but disguise it as fun and good eats. Ask him to go on walks with you, join the y and take a fitness class together? Or find an activity that burns calories that you both enjoy and make dates nights out of it. 

Suggestion #2 3 orgasms in 3 years means you both need to get know your body together. Go to Betty Dodson .com  and learn what sets you off. Order some toys and use them while having sex ( the butterfly works wonderfully for this) she has many things like books, DVDs etc that you and your husband can enjoy together while improving things. Your hubby may want sex more if he knows he is getting you to the big O. 

#3 enjoy intimacy now anyway you can that is safe! Cuddle, read a book together, have him join you in the bath, anything you can come up with. 

I hope this helps 

by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:23 PM

My dh has gained about 30 in the past 2 years; and it shows; his family always makes comments about it; and it's hard because I want him to be slim again but don't want to hurt his feeling like his family does. Our sex is alot like your; he gives me either oral or fingers me until I get off; then we have sex and he gets off. I've never gotten off from sex.

All I can suggest is keep open lines of communication; and try new things; to see what works for you. It's got to be hard while you're on bed rest; you are such a good wife to be trying still please him instead of just just feeling sorry for him.

Seems like once you have the baby things will start getting back to normal; try being active together and eating healthy food (the former after you give birth). Good luck!

by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 2:25 PM

I can't get off during sex either and usually mastrabate afterwards. My doctor says it actually more normal than you would think.

by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:00 PM
Its hard losing weight together bc when I lost my 55 lbs he said he would do it with me. Either he didn't think I was serious or what but he said it was too hard. 6 mo ago he came home from the doc with a prescription to help him lose weight. He took it for about 2 weeks. It suppressed his appetite. After that I had bug him about taking it. Last night I asked if he had taken it bc he ate constantly all night. (Granted I know the stress we are under but still). He said no he never got it refilled bc we don't have the money. Yes we are in a financial crisis going from two incomes to one due to bed rest, but this is important and its not that expensive. I'm just at a point where I don't know what to do. I am not as attracted to him hince my weight loss. I thought it would help our sex life. And he is not a.romantic person. Lol I had to teach what romance there is. ( sweet text messages ) I know all this sounds bad but he really is a good guy, good heart and I still love very much.
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:01 PM
Thank you for telling me its more normal than we think. It makes me feel something is wrong with me.
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:08 PM

I was in the same position just not as much weight gain on my part. My DH is finally starting to lose weight. It took him wanting to do it for it to actually work. He thought cooking at home automatically made it healthy. not when you smother everything with cheese. 

Good luck. Hopefully he will get the motivation that he needs to do it. 

As for the sex, I am still looking for the magic O. Since I havent had it, I am happy to help him achieve his and me to get satisfaction from sex. It feels good, I just don't get that feeling everyone talks about.

by Ruby Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 3:09 PM

I thought a sex vent was some sort of new patent you were applying for.

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