Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

Way too little, Way too late

Anonymous
Posted by Anonymous
  • 8 Replies

About 2 years ago I met up with an old friend I hadn't seen in years.  He'd gotten a divorce and I always suspected he liked me a lil more than as a friend, and he was now divorced.

Well we wound up spending the day together, and in just a few short days wound in bed together.  But, like I said, he was married before when I knew him, I looked similar to his ex-wife and we always hit it off great.  We spend weekends together, and couple of nights during the week as well. Talked texted all the time for a good 6 months.

We ran into an old friend of both of ours and wound up going to visit this friend several times together, as a couple.  This friend told me weeks later he'd mentioned talking to me on the phone with my 'boyfriend' and referred to me as his 'girlfriend' - to which my 'boyfriend' replied he 'didn't have a girlfriend'.  I had my friend as again a couple more times casually,"'hey I saw your 'girlfriend' yesterday we talked about ..."  Both times my so called 'boyfriend' again said to my friend "I don't have a girlfriend" when referring to me.

So I broke things off.  Over the last 2 years we've been on and off because non-boyfriend would text all the time, call, etc. He really cared about me, missed me, yada, yada.  I kept going back and breaking things off several more times.  Months ago I just decided I liked him, I wasn't his girlfriend and he wasn't my boyfriend, etc. but we spent some nights together, went some places together type of thing, a FWB I guess.

Well now I'm pregnant and my FWB NOW wants to be with me and only me, call me his SO, move things along.

The problem isn't that he broke my heart before, it's that I just don't love him like I did when we were together years ago.  I don't want to live together, get married, or want a text from him everytime he goes somewhere now.  I'm used to him being vague and sort of selfish.  I still get what I want out of it, now I'm just going to have his child and live my life as a single mom and wait to marry if I choose to someone that truly loves me, not someone that just cares now because he doesn't want to come off as the bad guy to our mutual friends.  Well they all already knows he's treated me selfishly.  

And I just don't love him anymore.  I need a father for our child, he's the ONLY possiblity, and I think he should step up for that ... nothing more.  

How do I let him know I'm not hurt anymore about before, things are alright as they are, you NEED to back off be friends and help with our child - THAT IS IT, stop the crying telling me you 'care', stop the text telling me everywhere you go ... back off?

Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 24, 2013 at 9:59 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-8):
areyouatroll
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:01 PM
Lol
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:03 PM

Tell him just like you typed it.... but to his face!

KristenFowles
by Ruby Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:04 PM

 I have no idea how best to explain that to him..

But good for you for not submitting to the relationship because you're pregnant.  That's never a good idea.

                         


There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one.

Sassy762
by CAFE SASSY HBIC on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:05 PM

Just print this put and send it to  him or hand it to him

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:07 PM

I've tried, but you know nicer like.

I don't want him backing out of any child support and I want our child to know his father.

If I say anything too soon, too harsh I'm afraid he'll deny our kid and make a messed up child support hearing and visitation.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:10 PM

Like I said I'll need the child support and our baby needs a father.  I don't want to jeapordize any of that by hurting him or anything.

I don't care if he f*cks around like he's been doing - I just feel my new LO will of course one day want and need his dad!


Quoting Sassy762:

Just print this put and send it to  him or hand it to him



mysticgrl
by on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:16 PM

Don't thnk about what if's.  You have to be honest with him now and not lead him on.  If u dont tell him how u feeel ur setting yourself up for 1 huge mess.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 24, 2013 at 10:29 PM


That's the thing, I'm not leading him on I told him I didn't expect anything from him like marrying me.  I was honest and said our baby needs a dad can you handle that?

I am trying to avoid any kind of mess. He just got it in his head "oh, this is a serious real relationship now"?

I want to be nice about it to stay friends like parents need to be for their children.

Quoting mysticgrl:

Don't thnk about what if's.  You have to be honest with him now and not lead him on.  If u dont tell him how u feeel ur setting yourself up for 1 huge mess.



Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)