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F***ity F*** F*** F***- teens and sex! ETA again

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So, doing the laundry today I found a rubber in the dryer. Because I have an IUD I was pretty sure it wasn't from DH. But I asked just in case. (the IUD is recent)

He said no, so I asked Teen DD. Her response made me suspicious.

Several hours later I reapproached the subject with her. After a lengthy discussion, which left me screaming in my skull!!! I learned at 14 she is not only NOT a virgin, she's bi too!


I explained to her about dental dams and condoms. Asked if she needed me to make a purchase. Reminded her that under age sex is technically illegal and definitely frowned upon in this house.


I carefully considered where she goes "unsupervised". Sleep overs with female friends. Adult supervided activities with boys (maybe their parent aren't watch as close as I do?)



Arrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Just at a total loss and FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In regards to why/how it is illegal for a 14 yo to have sex:
My State's Law

...solicit a minor child under the age of sixteen (16) years to
    participate in a sexual act, or...

The condom/rubber was in the wrapper


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:46 AM
Replies (11-20):
Angeliquer13
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:56 AM
Lol not congrats but it's reality .


Quoting thetrollcat:

translation.

Congratulations she is having sex, you cannot stop her, therefore, let her have sex as long as she is using a rubber and bc :)

Quoting Angeliquer13:

All you can do at this point is make sure she's having safe sex.



Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:56 AM



Quoting thetrollcat:

dude in this place these women believe teens should have sex, have babies, and we the parents should cater to them, raise their babies, give them free ipads and shit. Afterall, the goal to being a teen is hump, produce, and mooch off mom and dad.

But yet they claim they are too immature to move out on their own *rolling eyes*

This place is not the best place for teen reality LOL

BTW, if your daughter was mine, I would not be allowing sex, it just isnt going to happen. Dating is not allowed until they are sixteen and TRUST has to work both ways. At this point your daughter would have broken my trust and would be required to earn it back.

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting thetrollcat:

well I think in about another ten years society will be encouraging teens to have sex at 12 and move out by 14 and have families by 16. Hey, at least we can retire earlier!


you're not helping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)



She goes to hang with guuys at like the movies and the moms sit next to them. not even behind. the only other way she can hang with guys is here at the house in the living room.

i will ask her in a bit when it happened. the girls i understand- sleep overs.


as to MC- she know i aint raising no grandbabies, so even thought the rubbers were expired i have to give her points for attempting to be responsible :/


thetrollcat
by Meow on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:58 AM
4 moms liked this

In my opinion being a lemming and doing what everyone else supposedly is doing instead of doing the right thing is not responsible... BUT that is my opinion this is what my teens know.

I am not interested in providing a sex life for my teens. Once they turn sixteen that is the time I start letting go and they have to start learning to use all I taught them in their lives, anothers words more freedom.

FOURTEEN is too young and immature to be having sex and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Sounds to me she needs to be reeled in until she can prove she can make REAL RESPONSIBLE choices.

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting thetrollcat:

dude in this place these women believe teens should have sex, have babies, and we the parents should cater to them, raise their babies, give them free ipads and shit. Afterall, the goal to being a teen is hump, produce, and mooch off mom and dad.

But yet they claim they are too immature to move out on their own *rolling eyes*

This place is not the best place for teen reality LOL

BTW, if your daughter was mine, I would not be allowing sex, it just isnt going to happen. Dating is not allowed until they are sixteen and TRUST has to work both ways. At this point your daughter would have broken my trust and would be required to earn it back.

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting thetrollcat:

well I think in about another ten years society will be encouraging teens to have sex at 12 and move out by 14 and have families by 16. Hey, at least we can retire earlier!


you're not helping!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

:)



She goes to hang with guuys at like the movies and the moms sit next to them. not even behind. the only other way she can hang with guys is here at the house in the living room.

i will ask her in a bit when it happened. the girls i understand- sleep overs.


as to MC- she know i aint raising no grandbabies, so even thought the rubbers were expired i have to give her points for attempting to be responsible :/



~~~~~         =^..^=        ~~~~~
I'm not the cat lady type. I'm more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my own terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoes.  

It's wrong to be a bully with one exception. It's ok to bully those you THINK are a bully.

truealaskanmom
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:59 AM
3 moms liked this

I think it is good she came clean, I would not be ok with this, and I would make it a gaol to discourage her from doing it further.  Teens really don't understand the gravity of sexual behavior and the capacity it has to completely shape their life and their future.  They don't understand that the teen years are such a brief glimpse in their life and that what they do during them can have a massive impact.  They don't understand that the social order of high school etc.  will not matter once they leave high school.  You really need to impress upon her the importance of not doing this, and make sure she understands that her brain is not fully formed so she is not rational in this area, and should back down and re-evaluate.  Teens are sexual beings that is apart of their make-up but we do not live in a time that expressing that sexuality is a safe and healthy option.  I would encourage self pleasure to avoid some serious consequences. 

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:00 AM



Quoting Angeliquer13:

All you can do at this point is make sure she's having safe sex.

REALLY?!

she's 14. there has to be another option besides limiting her social life?

and what if she "doing it" at school?


sonnyswoman75
by Malisa on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:00 AM
I have a 15 year old son and I hope he isnt sexually active and like his father and waits until his 20s to have sex
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
truealaskanmom
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:04 AM

there is a lot you can do, but you will have to monitor her carefully, educate her, show her the reality that is sex, STDs, emotional damage etc.  You just have to make sure she understands sex is not a handshake and pleasure is not always worth the risks that come with receiving that pleasure, espcially when there are options for safe self pleasure and exploration

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting Angeliquer13:

All you can do at this point is make sure she's having safe sex.

REALLY?!

she's 14. there has to be another option besides limiting her social life?

and what if she "doing it" at school?



Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:05 AM



Quoting thetrollcat:

In my opinion being a lemming and doing what everyone else supposedly is doing instead of doing the right thing is not responsible... BUT that is my opinion this is what my teens know.

I am not interested in providing a sex life for my teens. Once they turn sixteen that is the time I start letting go and they have to start learning to use all I taught them in their lives, anothers words more freedom.

FOURTEEN is too young and immature to be having sex and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Sounds to me she needs to be reeled in until she can prove she can make REAL RESPONSIBLE choices.



in all honesty I would prefer she was the fuck up otta my house before she started having sex...we are beyond that.

yes. she is too young to have sex. i am not one of "those moms"

but apparently I am. so now i have to do what is best for her. do you think i should put her on lock down? ok, no more sleepovers. but what about school?

(not sarcasm- honest question)


Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:07 AM



Quoting truealaskanmom:

I think it is good she came clean, I would not be ok with this, and I would make it a gaol to discourage her from doing it further.  Teens really don't understand the gravity of sexual behavior and the capacity it has to completely shape their life and their future.  They don't understand that the teen years are such a brief glimpse in their life and that what they do during them can have a massive impact.  They don't understand that the social order of high school etc.  will not matter once they leave high school.  You really need to impress upon her the importance of not doing this, and make sure she understands that her brain is not fully formed so she is not rational in this area, and should back down and re-evaluate.  Teens are sexual beings that is apart of their make-up but we do not live in a time that expressing that sexuality is a safe and healthy option.  I would encourage self pleasure to avoid some serious consequences. 

she left a middle school. she was harrassed for kissing a boy in the 6th grade. she does understand consequences. at least i thought she did :(



truealaskanmom
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:08 AM

you are going to have to tell her that she is too young, it is not acceptable behavior, and go from there, you need to be careful she was honest with you and how you take it from here will form how honest she is with you from here on, it is normal for teens to have sexual wants and needs etc. the issue is we live in a time that it is not safe to do so and the consequnces are many and great, she needs to understand that, and you have to go about this without destroying her trust in you and her honesty with you

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting thetrollcat:

In my opinion being a lemming and doing what everyone else supposedly is doing instead of doing the right thing is not responsible... BUT that is my opinion this is what my teens know.

I am not interested in providing a sex life for my teens. Once they turn sixteen that is the time I start letting go and they have to start learning to use all I taught them in their lives, anothers words more freedom.

FOURTEEN is too young and immature to be having sex and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Sounds to me she needs to be reeled in until she can prove she can make REAL RESPONSIBLE choices.



in all honesty I would prefer she was the fuck up otta my house before she started having sex...we are beyond that.

yes. she is too young to have sex. i am not one of "those moms"

but apparently I am. so now i have to do what is best for her. do you think i should put her on lock down? ok, no more sleepovers. but what about school?

(not sarcasm- honest question)



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