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F***ity F*** F*** F***- teens and sex! ETA again

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So, doing the laundry today I found a rubber in the dryer. Because I have an IUD I was pretty sure it wasn't from DH. But I asked just in case. (the IUD is recent)

He said no, so I asked Teen DD. Her response made me suspicious.

Several hours later I reapproached the subject with her. After a lengthy discussion, which left me screaming in my skull!!! I learned at 14 she is not only NOT a virgin, she's bi too!


I explained to her about dental dams and condoms. Asked if she needed me to make a purchase. Reminded her that under age sex is technically illegal and definitely frowned upon in this house.


I carefully considered where she goes "unsupervised". Sleep overs with female friends. Adult supervided activities with boys (maybe their parent aren't watch as close as I do?)



Arrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Just at a total loss and FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In regards to why/how it is illegal for a 14 yo to have sex:
My State's Law

...solicit a minor child under the age of sixteen (16) years to
    participate in a sexual act, or...

The condom/rubber was in the wrapper


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:46 AM
Replies (21-30):
thetrollcat
by Meow on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:09 AM
3 moms liked this

In my house if you broke your trust and you didnt show me you were ready for something you got it taken away and had to earn them back.

Freedom is not given its earned.

Keyword here is "earned"

If you are living in OUR house you are not paying THE BILLS you need to follow the family rules. They are children, not adults, there are some thing as they get older you have to accept and hope they make some right choices verses just saying aw fuck it she gonna do it anyhow. Of course she will do it, because you allow her and there are NO CONSQUENCES.

That's the problem with the people of CM... They feel teens should be free to do whatever they feel like it, because it "feels good". Well that shit don't fly in my house.

My teen was not perfect I have caught her sneaking out of her room several times from Jr High until she got a car. Her freedom was taken she had to earn them back. We also worked on trust, communication, discussions about relationships I also tell her why I feel the way I do. 

Having sex is not a fucking game, your crotch is not a TOY. It should be respected and our girls should have some pride, respect for their bodies. I am often baffled how many parents with teens do not teach this.,...

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting thetrollcat:

In my opinion being a lemming and doing what everyone else supposedly is doing instead of doing the right thing is not responsible... BUT that is my opinion this is what my teens know.

I am not interested in providing a sex life for my teens. Once they turn sixteen that is the time I start letting go and they have to start learning to use all I taught them in their lives, anothers words more freedom.

FOURTEEN is too young and immature to be having sex and hanging out with the wrong crowd. Sounds to me she needs to be reeled in until she can prove she can make REAL RESPONSIBLE choices.



in all honesty I would prefer she was the fuck up otta my house before she started having sex...we are beyond that.

yes. she is too young to have sex. i am not one of "those moms"

but apparently I am. so now i have to do what is best for her. do you think i should put her on lock down? ok, no more sleepovers. but what about school?

(not sarcasm- honest question)



~~~~~         =^..^=        ~~~~~
I'm not the cat lady type. I'm more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my own terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoes.  

It's wrong to be a bully with one exception. It's ok to bully those you THINK are a bully.

Angeliquer13
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:09 AM
Yea I understand all that but at the end of the day she gonna do what she wants. No matter how much you think monitor she will find away if she wants too


Quoting truealaskanmom:

there is a lot you can do, but you will have to monitor her carefully, educate her, show her the reality that is sex, STDs, emotional damage etc.  You just have to make sure she understands sex is not a handshake and pleasure is not always worth the risks that come with receiving that pleasure, espcially when there are options for safe self pleasure and exploration

Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting Angeliquer13:

All you can do at this point is make sure she's having safe sex.

REALLY?!

she's 14. there has to be another option besides limiting her social life?

and what if she "doing it" at school?





Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
ATG499
by Platinum Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:09 AM
How is it illegal?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
truealaskanmom
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:10 AM

unfortunately her brain is not fully developed and the area that is not developed is the area that has reason, and understanding of cause and effect, she might sort of understand consequences but teenaged brains will always refer to the it won't happen to me stance, so you show her those that thought the same and it did happen.

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting truealaskanmom:

I think it is good she came clean, I would not be ok with this, and I would make it a gaol to discourage her from doing it further.  Teens really don't understand the gravity of sexual behavior and the capacity it has to completely shape their life and their future.  They don't understand that the teen years are such a brief glimpse in their life and that what they do during them can have a massive impact.  They don't understand that the social order of high school etc.  will not matter once they leave high school.  You really need to impress upon her the importance of not doing this, and make sure she understands that her brain is not fully formed so she is not rational in this area, and should back down and re-evaluate.  Teens are sexual beings that is apart of their make-up but we do not live in a time that expressing that sexuality is a safe and healthy option.  I would encourage self pleasure to avoid some serious consequences. 

she left a middle school. she was harrassed for kissing a boy in the 6th grade. she does understand consequences. at least i thought she did :(




thetrollcat
by Meow on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:10 AM

teens with shitty parents and attitude pull that shit.

I raised a teen she wasnt that damn bad.

Quoting Angeliquer13:

Yea I understand all that but at the end of the day she gonna do what she wants. No matter how much you think monitor she will find away if she wants too


Quoting truealaskanmom:

there is a lot you can do, but you will have to monitor her carefully, educate her, show her the reality that is sex, STDs, emotional damage etc.  You just have to make sure she understands sex is not a handshake and pleasure is not always worth the risks that come with receiving that pleasure, espcially when there are options for safe self pleasure and exploration

Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting Angeliquer13:

All you can do at this point is make sure she's having safe sex.

REALLY?!

she's 14. there has to be another option besides limiting her social life?

and what if she "doing it" at school?






~~~~~         =^..^=        ~~~~~
I'm not the cat lady type. I'm more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my own terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoes.  

It's wrong to be a bully with one exception. It's ok to bully those you THINK are a bully.

Anonymous
by Anonymous - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:11 AM



Quoting truealaskanmom:

you are going to have to tell her that she is too young, it is not acceptable behavior, and go from there, you need to be careful she was honest with you and how you take it from here will form how honest she is with you from here on, it is normal for teens to have sexual wants and needs etc. the issue is we live in a time that it is not safe to do so and the consequnces are many and great, she needs to understand that, and you have to go about this without destroying her trust in you and her honesty with you



i have been telling her. thats the hard part. she know in our family we dont approve

truealaskanmom
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:11 AM

wow really, you make her not want to, and you make sure it is known that it is a behavior that is punishable in your home

Quoting Angeliquer13:

Yea I understand all that but at the end of the day she gonna do what she wants. No matter how much you think monitor she will find away if she wants too


Quoting truealaskanmom:

there is a lot you can do, but you will have to monitor her carefully, educate her, show her the reality that is sex, STDs, emotional damage etc.  You just have to make sure she understands sex is not a handshake and pleasure is not always worth the risks that come with receiving that pleasure, espcially when there are options for safe self pleasure and exploration

Quoting Anonymous:




Quoting Angeliquer13:

All you can do at this point is make sure she's having safe sex.

REALLY?!

she's 14. there has to be another option besides limiting her social life?

and what if she "doing it" at school?






Angeliquer13
by Bronze Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:12 AM
Well congrats to you


Quoting thetrollcat:

teens with shitty parents and attitude pull that shit.

I raised a teen she wasnt that damn bad.

Quoting Angeliquer13:

Yea I understand all that but at the end of the day she gonna do what she wants. No matter how much you think monitor she will find away if she wants too





Quoting truealaskanmom:

there is a lot you can do, but you will have to monitor her carefully, educate her, show her the reality that is sex, STDs, emotional damage etc.  You just have to make sure she understands sex is not a handshake and pleasure is not always worth the risks that come with receiving that pleasure, espcially when there are options for safe self pleasure and exploration

Quoting Anonymous:





Quoting Angeliquer13:

All you can do at this point is make sure she's having safe sex.

REALLY?!

she's 14. there has to be another option besides limiting her social life?

and what if she "doing it" at school?









Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:12 AM
At least she told you the truth. At least she has condoms and is being careful hopefully
TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:13 AM

 

That really sucks.  Now you can't be certain she isn't having sex no matter who she is with.  There is no "safe place", like with her best friend.

Crazy world.  I'm sorry. 

Quoting Anonymous:

Sorry.  That sucks.  


 

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