Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Mom Confessions Mom Confessions

F***ity F*** F*** F***- teens and sex! ETA again

Posted by Anonymous   + Show Post

So, doing the laundry today I found a rubber in the dryer. Because I have an IUD I was pretty sure it wasn't from DH. But I asked just in case. (the IUD is recent)

He said no, so I asked Teen DD. Her response made me suspicious.

Several hours later I reapproached the subject with her. After a lengthy discussion, which left me screaming in my skull!!! I learned at 14 she is not only NOT a virgin, she's bi too!


I explained to her about dental dams and condoms. Asked if she needed me to make a purchase. Reminded her that under age sex is technically illegal and definitely frowned upon in this house.


I carefully considered where she goes "unsupervised". Sleep overs with female friends. Adult supervided activities with boys (maybe their parent aren't watch as close as I do?)



Arrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Just at a total loss and FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In regards to why/how it is illegal for a 14 yo to have sex:
My State's Law

...solicit a minor child under the age of sixteen (16) years to
    participate in a sexual act, or...

The condom/rubber was in the wrapper


Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 12:46 AM
Replies (41-50):
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:16 AM



Quoting truealaskanmom:

I think you need to make sure you understand the impulse, try to think back to being and teen and how you wanted to hump everything that moved it can't be helped, and then try and find out what she is lacking emotionally that would make her seek sex, and keep her busy in activities find things that will be important that sexual consequnces would ruin 

Quoting Anonymous:



Quoting truealaskanmom:

you are going to have to tell her that she is too young, it is not acceptable behavior, and go from there, you need to be careful she was honest with you and how you take it from here will form how honest she is with you from here on, it is normal for teens to have sexual wants and needs etc. the issue is we live in a time that it is not safe to do so and the consequnces are many and great, she needs to understand that, and you have to go about this without destroying her trust in you and her honesty with you



i have been telling her. thats the hard part. she know in our family we dont approve


oh- i do. but i waited until 15 and even then it was hell


truealaskanmom
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:17 AM

actually I have stopped eating foods that I have had that were good because of the bad things in them, it isn't hard to stop doing something if it is better fo you, sounds like you have impulse control and are giving your kids excuses for poor decision making 

Quoting Angeliquer13:

Lmao if I tell you all the bad calories that are in cookies will you stop eatting them ?? No cause you already had them and know how good they are.


Quoting truealaskanmom:

wow really, you make her not want to, and you make sure it is known that it is a behavior that is punishable in your home

Quoting Angeliquer13:

Yea I understand all that but at the end of the day she gonna do what she wants. No matter how much you think monitor she will find away if she wants too





Quoting truealaskanmom:

there is a lot you can do, but you will have to monitor her carefully, educate her, show her the reality that is sex, STDs, emotional damage etc.  You just have to make sure she understands sex is not a handshake and pleasure is not always worth the risks that come with receiving that pleasure, espcially when there are options for safe self pleasure and exploration

Quoting Anonymous:





Quoting Angeliquer13:

All you can do at this point is make sure she's having safe sex.

REALLY?!

she's 14. there has to be another option besides limiting her social life?

and what if she "doing it" at school?










TranquilMind
by Ruby Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:17 AM

 True.  It is SO much better to never touch the cookies in the first place than to try to stop. 


Quoting Angeliquer13:

Lmao if I tell you all the bad calories that are in cookies will you stop eatting them ?? No cause you already had them and know how good they are.


Quoting truealaskanmom:

wow really, you make her not want to, and you make sure it is known that it is a behavior that is punishable in your home

Quoting Angeliquer13:

Yea I understand all that but at the end of the day she gonna do what she wants. No matter how much you think monitor she will find away if she wants too





Quoting truealaskanmom:

there is a lot you can do, but you will have to monitor her carefully, educate her, show her the reality that is sex, STDs, emotional damage etc.  You just have to make sure she understands sex is not a handshake and pleasure is not always worth the risks that come with receiving that pleasure, espcially when there are options for safe self pleasure and exploration

Quoting Anonymous:

 

 



Quoting Angeliquer13:

All you can do at this point is make sure she's having safe sex.

REALLY?!

she's 14. there has to be another option besides limiting her social life?

and what if she "doing it" at school?



 







 

thetrollcat
by Meow on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:17 AM
2 moms liked this

hey sweetheart if you want your kids roaming and having lots of sex and risking their health and lives that's your deal but I dont agree with that type of parenting, that isnt parenting at all.

Quoting Angeliquer13:

Yup you should go treat yourself


Quoting thetrollcat:

you mean congrats to the fact I actually parent my kids?

~~~~~         =^..^=        ~~~~~
I'm not the cat lady type. I'm more like an actual cat. I want affection when I want it and on my own terms. The rest of the time I want to claw out your eyes and piss in your shoes.  

It's wrong to be a bully with one exception. It's ok to bully those you THINK are a bully.

ATG499
by Platinum Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:17 AM
Even with another 14 year old?

Quoting TranquilMind:

 At 14, she is probably under the age of consent.




Quoting ATG499:

How is it illegal?



 

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Anonymous
by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:17 AM
Honestly being more strict will make her want to do it more. That's how teens are. Set her up on birth control, condoms aren't 100%. Yes limit her alone time without adults, but don't lock her away or she's just going to rebel more.

Encourage her to be open with you, if she has questions or concerns have her come to you. And I suggest getting her tested every few months just in case, unfortunately even if she's careful the other person may not be.
Anonymous
by Anonymous 1 - Original Poster on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:18 AM



Quoting Angeliquer13:

Well congrats to you


Quoting thetrollcat:

teens with shitty parents and attitude pull that shit.

I raised a teen she wasnt that damn bad.

Quoting Angeliquer13:

Yea I understand all that but at the end of the day she gonna do what she wants. No matter how much you think monitor she will find away if she wants too





Quoting truealaskanmom:

there is a lot you can do, but you will have to monitor her carefully, educate her, show her the reality that is sex, STDs, emotional damage etc.  You just have to make sure she understands sex is not a handshake and pleasure is not always worth the risks that come with receiving that pleasure, espcially when there are options for safe self pleasure and exploration

Quoting Anonymous:





Quoting Angeliquer13:

All you can do at this point is make sure she's having safe sex.

REALLY?!

she's 14. there has to be another option besides limiting her social life?

and what if she "doing it" at school?









WTF?!


Angeliquer13
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:18 AM
Ok your great I get it


Quoting thetrollcat:

hey sweetheart if you want your kids roaming and having lots of sex and risking their health and lives that's your deal but I dont agree with that type of parenting, that isnt parenting at all.

Quoting Angeliquer13:

Yup you should go treat yourself





Quoting thetrollcat:

you mean congrats to the fact I actually parent my kids?


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Kaliary
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:19 AM

Well... at least she's using condoms?

pregnancy week by week

baby


Angeliquer13
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 1:19 AM
Thank you this is what I was trying to say and I got my head chopped off


Quoting Anonymous:

Honestly being more strict will make her want to do it more. That's how teens are. Set her up on birth control, condoms aren't 100%. Yes limit her alone time without adults, but don't lock her away or she's just going to rebel more.



Encourage her to be open with you, if she has questions or concerns have her come to you. And I suggest getting her tested every few months just in case, unfortunately even if she's careful the other person may not be.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN