I try my hardest to build both my girls up. Tell them how beautiful they are inside and out. It is hard raising girls this day and age. They are quick to believe what their peers at school say and not what you say as their parents. I just continue to tell them anyways. Mine are 9 and 11.
different ways. sometimes I say - see how those girls go to tanning beds - they're trying to get your skin tone - see how I'm putting on this eyeliner and mascara - you have naturally thick lashes and lined eyes. Or I point out a celebrity who got a new hair style that resemebles their hair. I also like to take a ton of pix. I remind them too that for some reason, no matter how beautiful a person is - they have things about themselves they want to change, and that often we apply 'the grass is greener' to so much in our lives we dont' know how to appreciate what we have.
I got this book for (me and) my daughter "More Than Saying I Love You" .. She is also in a program called "girls on the run". It's a really great program.
Here's the book.
I also have changed how I answer her questions - like when she is seeking MY approval on something, I ask her what SHE thinks about it first - and then, answer her with my response. It helps her to have her own approval/feelings about things instead of just wanting that confirmation from me.
Quoting FL2AK:I don't place such an emphasis on looks. I complement her on her intelligence, artistic abilities and for being an all around great person.
This. I tell her how intelligent and talented she is. She doesn't care much about her looks.
My daughter has walked around looking pretty beat up in the passed couple years and she still thinks she's pretty. That and I tell her in a very loving and playful way "Gurrrrrllll look at you looking all purty today and stuff!" That way you know, she knows she's pretty but there's not a huge emphasis to just be pretty. I did have a month or two where I had to tell her everyday that she still had a pretty face...she was hit by a truck and had a nasty mark on her face and her lip was all busted...she felt a little down but she looks at her cheek now as a survivor mark.
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I think confidence needs to come from within. I wouldn't focus so much on physical beauty. Let her know she is smart, kind, independent, etc.
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