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Stepmoms and kids

Posted by Anonymous
  • 10 Replies
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I see so many post of Step moms saying their kids are great and the step kids are "brats". Have you thought that maybe it's YOU? Maybe you are the reason they act out? OH! kudos to the moms that understand step kids are part of the deal and accepting them into your family!
Posted by Anonymous on Mar. 26, 2013 at 7:29 AM
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by Kandy on Mar. 26, 2013 at 7:36 AM
Nope my step son (whom i love very much he just drives me batty because he is very violent and rebelious) is the way he is from watching mom beat the shit out of his dad, from the confusion of watching her cheat on his dad AND from her finaly leaving when he was 3.5 and her only wanting to see him every other weekend no mater how much he begs to see her. She did have him living with her. She would call ME to drive over and deal with him because she could not deal with him. (he was there only two months. We were trying to see if him staying with her would help calm him. Sugested by his phyc)
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by Anonymous 2 on Mar. 26, 2013 at 7:36 AM

It is usually at least partly the step mom's fault,  kids can sense when people don't like them and it will make them act out.  ome step parents aren't fit to take care of a plant let alone children!

by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 7:39 AM

i agree i had a stepmom and we didnt get along at all. i could give you a hundred stories on that. when she had my brother and sister(half siblings obviously, but still sis and bro), she treated me totally different and her and my dad always fought about it. they could fight about anything and end up fighting about me. i would even get dragged down into the basement to sit there and watch them fight over me being treated diff. from my sibs. when i was a teenager my dad fixed up a room in the basement for me so i could get away from her and have peace and quiet to myself (my upstairs room was tiny, barely room for my bed, dresser and vanity set). i actually moved out on my 18th bday just to get out from under her, thinking maybe with me gone theyd get along moved out not quite a year later and now theyre divorced. the kicker is, now for family holidays shes always nice to me like we never had a problem in the world (totally dont understand that)

by Anonymous 3 on Mar. 26, 2013 at 7:40 AM

I don't like my step daughter and if my husband isn't going to be home with her the whole time ( or out with her - he just needs to be with her ) then she's not welcome at my house. She's a lying manipulative brat!

Her own mother has had to call the police on her multiple times in the past year ( about 6 times since mother's day )

Her own father gets fed up with her and takes her home early

I'm not dealing with her, when neither of her parents want to

And my child is far from perfect - he has behavioral problems - the difference is, I actually parent him. no one parents my step daughter and it's not my job to be a parent when she's only at my house MAYBE 4 days a month

by Anonymous 4 on Mar. 26, 2013 at 7:40 AM
My kids, his kids....they have all been 'brats' at one time, or another.
by CanadaGirl on Mar. 26, 2013 at 7:41 AM

It might be the kids, it might be the stepmoms, maybe both at the same time.  Divorce is hard on kids, accepting another parent and spliting time between 2 households and 2 different sets of rules etc. is difficult for a lot of kids so yes, they will act out.

Some stepmoms are just assholes and don't want to accept their stepkids and will reject them.  It's sad but it happens.

by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 7:46 AM
No. I've never called him a beat on here. But SS admitted that he acts the way he does because of his mom, sisters and step father. His mom hates that he likes it here.
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by Emerald Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:03 AM
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It is sad that when  two people with kids of their own decide to marry that their isnt a marriage of the families. These children are hurting in one form or another. The adults need to treat them as they would want their own kids treat. I believe when you marry a person with kids They are YOUR kids now. There is no his mine only ours !

by Anonymous 5 on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:05 AM
I think a lot has to do w how the household is run and if the child feels welcome or not
I have been in my ss's life since he was 2 and he is treated like my child when he is here period. There's no special treatment the kids all have responsibilities and help out.
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:20 AM
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Eh, it's shortsighted and ignorant to assume that having the title "stepmom" means you are a mean person.

There are as many types of SM's in the world as there are people.  You can't paint them all with one brush.

When a SM (or SD) and kids can't get along I generally think it's a huge combination of factors from the skid, to the bioparents and, lastly, the step-parent.  

Unless the step parent is a raging asshole they are generally the least of the problems.  Why?  Because they've been on the scene the least amount of time and have the least amount of influence on the kids.  The ones with the influence are the BIOPARENTS.

My 3 children with my ex had a SM they disliked very much.  She was an asshole and badmouthed me to them.  How did I react?  By telling  my children they better damn well be respectful to her and follow her rules while at her house.  I handled the adult stuff with my ex, privately, without my kid's knowledge or participation.  

Too many bioparents, BM's particularly, get all kinds of jealous and territorial with their children.  They damn sure don't want another woman playing mommy, or telling their pwecious widdles what to do, or ~GASP~ getting the kid's hair cut!  So they'll badmouth the SM or sigh or roll their eyes when her name is mentioned.  Kid gets the idea---it's not hard when you're a parent to turn your child against someone.  Not hard at all.  

And then when kid is an asshole to SM or ignores her, etc. the BM crows that it's SM's fault.

SM's are scapegoats for all kinds of shit in many situations. You see it play out on CM every. single. day.  The hypocrisy and outright ridiculousness of posters leaves my jaw hanging open and my faith in the next generation being raised by these women seriously shaken.

**Just call me Stuart**

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